many people say im pretty! but why do i have such low self esteem?

Question

am so shy

Answer 1

Same with me. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with being shy. People just might get the wrong impression and they'll think you don't like them or something, cause you don't usually speak to them. Try to make yourself talk to them, and once you start communicating with people, it shouldn't be so hard, and your confidence will build. Also pick out the good stuff you like about yourself. Avoid negative thoughts--I was the exact same way. Getting involved should really help also with the self esteem thing, and you'll meet new people, so it gives you the opportunity to become used to being social. I'm shy too, but I did those things and I'm a lot more social than I was, and a whole lot happier with myself. And if people say you're pretty, than you must be.

Answer 2

there can be many reason why! but here is some help!


Rebut the Inner Critic
The first important step in improving self-esteem is to begin to challenge the negative messages of the critical inner voice. Here are some typical examples of the inner critic's voice and how you can "rebut" that voice.

The Inner Critic's Voice: Your Rebuttals:
Is Unfairly Harsh:

"People said they liked my presentation, but it was nowhere near as good as it should have been. I can't believe no-one noticed all the places I messed up. I'm such an impostor."
Be Reassuring:

"Wow, they really liked it! Maybe it wasn't perfect, but I worked hard on that presentation and did a good job. I'm proud of myself. This was a great success."

Generalizes Unrealistically:

"I got an F on the test. I don't understand anything in this class. I'm such an idiot. Who am I fooling? I shouldn't be taking this class. I'm stupid and I don't belong in college."
Be Specific:

"I did poorly on this one test, but I've done O.K. on all the homework. There are some things here that I don't understand as well as I thought I did, but I can do the material-I've done fine in other classes that were just as tough.

Makes Leaps of Illogic:

"He is frowning. He didn't say anything, but I know it means that he doesn't like me!"
Challenge Illogic:

"O.K., he's frowning, but I don't know why. It could have nothing to do with me. Maybe I should ask."

Catastrophizes:

"She turned me down for a date! I'm so embarrassed and humiliated. No one likes or cares about me. I'll never find a girlfriend. I'll always be alone."
Be Objective:

"Ouch! That hurt. Well, she doesn't want to go out with me. That doesn't mean no one does. I know I'm an attractive and nice person. I'll find someone."


Step 2: Practice Self-Nurturing
Rebutting your critical inner voice is an important first step, but it is not enough. Since our self-esteem is in part due to how others have treated us in the past, the second step to more healthy self-esteem is to begin to treat yourself as a worthwhile person.

Start to challenge past negative experiences or messages by nurturing and caring for yourself in ways that show that you are valuable, competent, deserving and lovable. There are several components to self-nurturing:

Practice Basic Self-Care

Get enough sleep, eat in a healthy fashion, get regular exercise, practice good hygiene, and so forth.

Plan Fun & Relaxing Things For Yourself

You could go to a movie, take a nap, get a massage, plant a garden, buy a pet, learn to meditate-whatever you enjoy.

Reward Yourself For Your Accomplishments

You could take the night off to celebrate good grades, spend time with a friend, or compliment yourself for making that hard phone call.

Remind Yourself of Your Strengths & Achievements

One way is to make a list of things you like about yourself. Or keep a 'success' file of awards, certificates and positive letters or citations. Keep momentos of accomplishments you are proud of where you can see them.

Forgive Yourself When You Don't Do All You'd Hoped

Self-nurturing can be surprisingly hard if you are not used to doing it. Don't be critical of yourself-remember that inner voice!-when you don't do it just right.

Self-Nurture Even When You Don't Feel You Deserve It

"Fake it" until you can "make it." When you treat yourself like you deserve to feel good and be nurtured, slowly you'll come to believe it

Answer 3

Because physical beauty is external and self esteem issues are internal. You need to make a huge list of everything thats great about you, not just your looks. Realize that theres only one you and you have lots of great qualitys.

Then realize that NOBODY is perfect and even the most beautiful woman/man might have the biggest flaws inside.

You're probably very awesome. You just need to figure it out for yourself.

Answer 4

Other aspects of your life could be affecting this. Do you like your job, your place in life, do you have friends, how are your social skills. Relationships are not the only aspect of your self esteem. Other areas of you life spill into your emotions. What you need to do is find that one aspect of your life that makes you happy and ride with with it. Your self esteem revolves around your mood.

Answer 5

me too! i get alot of men saying im hot or pretty all the time when i actually meet people but i dont see it at all.. my fiance thinks im beautiful but i dont believe him that he really thinks that. i have no self esteem either :( so i guess i cant help

Answer 6

I think that it comes naturally with who you are and the way that you have been raised, I hate the sight of myself in a mirror yet a lot of people say I'm hot

Answer 7

Because you are not really pretty, and people are only saying that to make you feel better, but you already know that truth.

Answer 8

Probably because you are being valued for your looks, not your brain, heart, etc.

Answer 9

maybe they lie when they say you are pretty.

Answer 10

you dont belive in your self.
have hope and faith.