We've broken up since dec 05 but since then I've visited him (he moved for work in dec) like 5 times across several states from where I am. I cant give up on him, no matter how hard I've tried... he calls me and i call him, and we get back inot this dysfunctional psuedo relationship. Is he using me? I just want to know if there's any where of making him see that we can work out. I love him, damn, i hate flights but have been doing like weekend flights just so i can spend time with him.
2006-08-09 16:32:07 · 23 answers · asked by Christy N 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
yes... i've been the one flying to visit him, he paid for one trip back n forth, the trip that send me homee was one that he sprung on me the day b4 he booked the flight cos he had a friend vsiitng him. we stopped talking for sometime after that, cos i was flat out heartbroken by what he did. then we started talking gain and he wanted me to visit him, missed me, and all thta. i just don't know anymore... it's almost like i've invested so much in him, it's like i want it to work,HELP pls. some clear, good, unbiased opnion is required. and THANKS for all the responses so far.
2006-08-09 16:53:48 · update #1
You are being used big time. I don't want to sound to crude, but what is there for this guy not to love about this relationship. He gets his freedom from a true relationship, and instant tang. It sounds almost like a pizza delivery, except it is a tang delivery. When he wants some good tang, all he has to do is pick up the phone and the tang is delivered by air express. Ohce he has quenched his thirst for the tang, he gets to get rid of it untill he is thirsty again. I am sorry to be so blunt, but this dude is in no way comitted to you.
2006-08-09 16:45:59 · answer #1 · answered by drpedigo_2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him flat out. "Where do you see this relationship going?" That's giving him the benefit of a doubt. My best bet is that you guys are having expensive booty calls.
There are so many other guys out there. What bothers one guy
about you, may be endearing to another. Sometimes you can love someone because they're loveable, but you may not be compatible in the long run. It takes two working hard in the same direction to make a lasting, committed relationship. If you already think it's dysfunctional and psuedo wait until money problems, inlaws, living arrangements, babies get thrown into the mix.
I'd start dating around locally, but first ask where your b/f sees
your relationship in a year. Good luck. (And... if he were to say
that he can't see you together in 1 year in a committed relationship would YOU actually feel relieved?)
2006-08-09 16:40:40 · answer #2 · answered by Linda S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dysfunctional is a really good word to use. Sounds to me like this is going nowhere.
How many times has he flown back to see you? If he says there is no way to work it out, but he wants to keep banging you, then indeed he is using you. Stay home for a while and don't call him, just to see if he will call. I bet he won't, but if he really cares about you, he will make the effort to call or fly home.
2006-08-09 16:39:55 · answer #3 · answered by 3 Card 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust your logic and analyze the whole situation.. do not let your emotions make the decisions.. guys can be all talk.. and not really mean what they say.. look at his actions.. actions speak louder than words.. do not waster your time on a relationship that is going no where.. focus on yourself and the right one will come along.. and remember true love is patient ... I hope I helped .. take care
2006-08-17 10:38:20 · answer #4 · answered by Kiara 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One sentence makes me worried: "I just want to know if there's any where of making him see that we can work out." If he doesn't see it already - he won't ever see it. He's just mellow and loves sex. How often does he visit you? Zero? No matter how much you love him - there is areality there, and that reality says he doesn't appreciate it. Sorry....
Forget about this dude, you'll find better.
I hope it helps.
2006-08-09 16:39:42 · answer #5 · answered by Snowflake 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know your feeling. But I think my crush and my friend is cheating on me. I just can't stand that to happen. I think you too. Maybe you can try telling him. He will tell the trued. Whether he loves you or not. I think it is very possible that he will say," I am cheating on you. Don't you think you are so ugly?" Men are very irreposible to woman. And I don't know why. The most important advide is: ask him whether he loves you or not. Or Tell him you still love him very much, ask him whether he wants to get involved again with you.
2006-08-09 16:39:37 · answer #6 · answered by CELiNE:] 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it's meant to be . . . it will happen for you!
If you are in love and willing to make this relationship work (relationships ARE work!) then go for it!
Try to plan your lives accordingly so that one of you can move to be with the other - hopefully soon!
Have you discussed this with HIM?
GOOD LUCK! I sincerely wish you well!
2006-08-09 16:35:50 · answer #7 · answered by penwrite5 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you really love him hold on to him but if he doesnt want anything to do with a relationship other than friends then you should let him go and move on and ofcourse it will be hard , it always is but its better now then later cus that time and energy youre wasting on him you can be wasting on someone else
z
2006-08-09 16:40:23 · answer #8 · answered by sinful vampyra 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you should sit back and ask yourself is this give and take relationship or is it all give. Has he or will he do the same for you. If not you may need to cut your losses on this guy
2006-08-09 16:37:28 · answer #9 · answered by donise225 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're desperate honey. you're probably just horny just sayin' Well if you really like this guy you need to tell him "(insert name here) i want this relationship to go some where not to stay in the same spot while you go away alomost every weekend" hope i helped :) ^ ^
. .
U
2006-08-09 16:38:25 · answer #10 · answered by mznique820 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋