First of all, you're going to have to understand where your responsibilities end and hers begin.
I know this is tough for you, but there are limits to what you're capable of. It's hard when you've got a loved one with an addiction. Oftentimes they don't realize how much it hurts everyone else.
I would suggest you contact al-anon, an organization that helps family and friends of drug and alcohol addicted people. You will learn what you're capable of and also what your limitations are.
You sound like a caring person. I give you credit for sticking with your wife through this difficult time. I hope the best for her and you.
2006-08-09 16:30:59
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answer #1
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answered by Yah00_goddess 6
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Okay, I am the voice you must have heard before (if you attended family sessions when your wife was in rehab). I am the voice which says, "You can not fix your wife and you cannot control anyone other than yourself. The way to help your wife, the ONLY way which might save her is for you to stop enabling her. If that means leaving her, you need to leave." Do you remember that voice ? Are you not listening to what the doctors and staff tell you, or are you just not going ? Addiction is a FAMILY disease. Remember that statement ? You need treatment for co-dependency, so help yourself !
You may get sympathy from other people on YA, but you KNOW you're getting the TRUTH from ME ! I was at the meetings with you ........ remember me ?
2006-08-09 16:49:26
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answer #2
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answered by SpongebobRoundpants 5
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This is quite serious. The best thing you can do is to visit a doctor( specializing in mental health). Just doing rehabs wont do. Have to address the root of the problem becoz a lot of people don't take rehab seriously.
This is some thing that can be controlled, if the mind is treated and not just the body. (trying to change the habits without changing the mind won't do any good)
And let her know that you are always there and will be there.
2006-08-09 16:28:36
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answer #3
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answered by FL 2
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Apparently no one has taken the time to find out what is causing this problem. Most problems stem from early childhood and are carried within the deep recesses of the mnd. To create reactions usually not understood. There are many ways for these triggers to be touched off. Your wife is not aware of most of the problems but, is of some. Those she can remember are relived multiple times and are, in actuality, implanting more emotions in different places. Never releasing the original ones from childhood. It keeps compounding.
2006-08-09 18:07:07
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answer #4
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answered by mrcricket1932 6
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This probably isn't the magic answer you were hoping for, but you can't do anything for her. Only she has the ability to fix or ruin her life. You can only stand by and try not to be her crutch that keeps her rooted in her sickness. I'm sure you've heard the term 'enabling' before. Don't do it.
Whether you stay with her or leave so that you can have a healthy relationship somewhere else, good luck to you.
2006-08-09 16:33:14
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answer #5
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answered by slagathor238 5
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honestly, she has to be the one to want to change.. you can't make her get clean.. she has to want it.. i don't know what drugs we're talking about.. but help her figure out what it was the made her get involved with drugs.. ususally stress, or bad emotions trigger the addiction, so talk things out with her and listen to her.. help her.. let her know that you care about her.. don't force her to talk.. when she's done, she's done.. if she does want treatment.. ask her what she would like, what she thinks would work.. encourage her that you know that it will be hard, but worth it in the long run.. don't hold this against her.. praise her and reward her for her good behaviors.. don't step on her for the bad.. it's going to be a long and rocky road.. be sure of that.. and be prepared for her to be more angry and to go in phazes.. if she's not willing to stop doing drugs, you're gonna' have to put your foot down, though.. don't threaten her, but tell her that you love her and you can't watch her do this to herself.. and be involved with her therapy and recovery.. do whatever you can if she asks for anything... now is the time for it to be about her.. she turns to drugs for some reason, you have to be what she wants and desires rather than a drug.. and she will most likely supplement drugs with something else.. but get her involved with something that she has a passion for.. show her positive things in life that weren't happening because of the drugs.. sorry this is so long but i am recovering myself.. any more questions just e-mail me...good luck...
2006-08-09 17:16:28
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answer #6
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answered by lisha 1
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if you can get your wife to admit she is sick and that she needs help..then take her for an evaluation at an in-patient psychiatric hospital. sometimes not giving someone who is in crisis too many options works best and being in an in-patient program will allow her to deal with this problem daily with support from others who are in the same boat.
seems to me she would benefit from duel-diagnosis program...one that will treat both her depression and addiction at the same time. it is important that she receive good aftercare as well. therapy is a strong tool for recovery. you should probably seek some counseling as well because her is illness is affecting your life too. support groups are wonderful. good luck to both of you !
2006-08-09 16:38:44
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answer #7
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answered by Simply D 3
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She is trying to self medicate her pain or problems,the best thing you can do is to be supportive and try to understand why she is in pain and what has caused her pain.Just try to be the best husband you can be and don't make things worse by trying to tell her how to fix her life,she will only resent you for it even though you may just be trying to help.She needs to see a psycologist so they can get to the bottom of what's going on and get her on a medication that will help her.
2006-08-09 16:46:47
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answer #8
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answered by ~Misty.babydoll~ 3
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My mom has a drug problem and has had it as far back as I can remember.I've tried to help along with hospitals,etc.I've realized all I can do is pray for her.Good luck and God bless.
2006-08-09 16:30:34
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answer #9
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answered by believer26 3
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seek professional help, but most of all don't give up on her, stick by her no matter what
2006-08-09 16:30:26
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answer #10
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answered by why 1
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