The reception space is small and will not accomodate all guest...We are thinking about a private family reception!
2006-08-09 16:16:09 · 34 answers · asked by MoneyMan 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
From Oprah's website:
Candice and Nate are planning their wedding. They are getting married in a large church but their reception is at a smaller location, forcing them to cut their guest list. They feel closer to some of their friends than they do to their relatives. Can they invite some people to the wedding but not to the reception without offending anybody?
Three opinions:
E. Jean Carroll, Elle magazine columnist: If you're going to have a big church wedding, invite everybody to the reception. Just don't spend a lot of money on the reception. If it's a matter of five or ten guests at the reception, it's just not worth [excluding anyone].
Harriette Cole, syndicated columnist: You can have two receptions. At the church you can have a reception with cake and punch and your receiving line. Every single guest is there and everyone is happy. You can have a smaller reception later on with less people. If family members are in question, you have to invite them. Marriage is a union of families.
Ceri Marsh, etiquette columnist: You may not be close [to certain family members] now, but think about how you'll feel five years from now. Invite them all.
2006-08-09 16:23:15 · answer #1 · answered by teresa c 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very rude and tacky... I like the idea of having 2 receptions... one immediately following with punch/cookies, maybe a cake, and your recieving line, as well as one that will accomodate your guests.
You could cut people out of your wedding list.
Traditionally, I think the reception is a way for the hosts to thank the guests that travelled a long way to come to the event.
Also - the more people at the reception - the more chances of getting cool wedding gifts or cash!
2006-08-09 16:31:58 · answer #2 · answered by Skiingred 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, that is called being a cheap and rude! Who wants to come to your wedding and not a reception afterward? Are you that awesome of a wedding couple that people should grace your wedding and not a reception? Would you want to do that, knowing others get to go to a reception?
Ok enough of being a meanie. Now, why not have just a family wedding? Or find a different reception place? If money is an issue, maybe a morning wedding with a light brunch after? No alcohol need be involved. Unless you have mimosas they can be made relatively cheap.
2006-08-09 16:24:18 · answer #3 · answered by yowhatsup2day 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, although it's not meant to be, it would come across as rude. As though you just want them their for the gift they would bring, because they would still feel obligated to bring a gift. Either find a bigger reception hall or don't invite the others at all.
Now, I have been to a few weddings where I (usually as a cousin in a large group of cousins) have been invited to the wedding, excluded from the dinner, but invited to the reception after the dinner. I don't really like that either, but I can understand the prohibitive expense of a wedding meal being catered, but to not be invited to the reception at all, I would find offensive.
2006-08-09 16:38:28 · answer #4 · answered by LindaLou 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No... I mean seriously... how would you even put that in thier invitation?
Your presence is requested at the ceramony of _________ and _________
Saturday September23rd at 2:00 in the township park
Reception to immediatly follow (but we are limited on space so you can't come to that).
???
No, that's not cool. Normally when people are invited to the wedding & reception, it's the wedding ceramony that many people don't come to, but still go to the reception.
If you are obligated to the place you have chosen for your reception, and it's too small, then you may have to consider who you would invite to the wedding.
Try to have the reception somewhere else - then you can have everyone there eyou want
2006-08-09 16:26:25 · answer #5 · answered by addicted2stamping 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they are coming to the wedding and also bringing a gift they should be automaticly invited to the reception. So that being said I would make it clear that they are notinvited to the reception and that a gift from them will not be accepted. You can't have it both ways.
2006-08-09 16:27:24 · answer #6 · answered by Brutal honesty is best 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whoever is invited to the wedding should be able to attend the reception. If you only want family to go to the reception, then just invite family to the ceremony. The people that attend arent there just as witness' to your marriage but friends wanting to celebrate with you on your happy occasion.
2006-08-09 16:25:37 · answer #7 · answered by ironica7 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"You can come see me get married but you can't come to the reception." I would think you would have a hard time explaining that one without offending them.
If there is not enough space for everyone at the reception then you may want to just have a small private family ceremony and reception that way it is not only easier to explain but you will not offended anyone.
2006-08-09 16:22:56 · answer #8 · answered by DeeDee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your situation is unacceptable
It is alright to have a Private ceremony, then invite the entire Guest List to your Reception
If you are having some concerns, just cut back on the entire Guest List and have a smaller celebration all the way around
2006-08-09 17:52:31 · answer #9 · answered by LJRobbie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not really... I think most people also look forward to the party after. It might make sense not to mention the reception at all and only tell your immediate family about reception so there is no hard feelings.
2006-08-09 16:19:10 · answer #10 · answered by kitkool 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋