For "average" people with several children...?

Question

I'm curious. You and your husband/boyfriend both work full time, have average paying jobs (by no means well off or even comfortable, but you don't go without, either), standard bills (rent/mortgage, utilities, car payment, insurance, etc.) How do you support three or more children? My husband and I have two sons and we've pretty much decided we're finished...for now. We've said when our older son is in kindergarten, we *might* consider trying for a third (we both like large families) but honestly...how do people afford it?? We both have average paying jobs (he works retail at a large lumber/home improvement chain and I'm a legal secretary). What do you guys do to avoid getting on welfare? Or do you?

I realize this probably sounds like a really strange question, but I read on here where people have three or four kids and I wonder...what is your secret for not being in the poorhouse? LOL :)

Answer 1

First of all, I stay home with them. Childcare eats up a family's budget quick! Seems like one of the parents is working ONLY to pay the babysitter - it isn't logical when you have alot of kids! Secondly, BUDGET! Everything must be budgeted to the last penny! Yeah you sacrifice alot, but your children are worth it! Third, leave your pride at the door! Hand me downs are a wonderful thing! Saves you tons of money! Thrift stores are great, as well!

I could go on and on about this subject, but it all comes down to this: When you have alot of kids, you have to sacrifice alot and you're going to go through some rough times. But aren't the little rugrats worth it? If you love your kids, you find ways to make it all work. It's never easy, whether you have 2 kids or 8! And all the good times really do outway the bad. Your kids make you way richer than any amount of money in the world!

Answer 2

My husband and I have three children. He is a creative service producer for a local tv station and I stay home. We have a mortgage and regular utilities. We saved and bought a good used car (we only have one) to avoid a car payment and excessive insurance costs. We also live in the Mid Ohio Valley area where real estate is unbelievably cheap (this makes up for the cut in pay my husband takes to work here). We paid $72,500 for a 3 bedroom, 1500 square ft. home in a nice area! My best advice is buy all your clothes out of season, I save on average 75% off all clothing for my family and we dress well. Don't waste money on fast food and take advantage of parks and free recreational activities. Oh, and clip coupons! It may be a little embarrassing but I wouldn't have been able to stay home with my kids if I hadn't. I usually save about $30 a week off my grocery bill. Sometimes childcare can be more of a drain than one person staying home. We do not receive any assistance. Everyone we know freaks out when they hear that I stay home because my husband doesn't make much money, but it is doable.

Answer 3

I have 4 children 6,5,3, and 4 months. I stay home, and my husband makes a decent living(nothing extravagant) plus he pays child support for his son from a previous relationship. The key is to not get into debt. Don't buy a lot of unnecessary things. I mean don't buy a house you know you can't afford. Buy your clothes on sale or from Wal-Mart. There is nothing wrong with Wal-Mart clothes. I wear them myself. Take care of the clothes that your children have and hand them down to the next. Make a budget and stick to it. the best advice I can give you is to not own any credit cards. Americans are impulsive we see something and want it, even if we know that we don't need it and probably won't use it. When you have a credit card you are more likely to buy things you don't need, then when you have cash. If you do have credit cards never use it for consumable products like groceries. You end up paying interest on things that you no longer posses. I guess what I am saying is live within your means.

Answer 4

We have 4 kids and my husband works. Thankfully, I stay at home. I cannot afford to work. People are always saying they wish they could stay home. But I cannot afford the
childcare
work clothes
lunch money
gas for my car
My husband makes a fairly low income but we have nice things and go on annual family vacations. We are careful with credit cards and budget our groceries. We keep the air conditioning set at 70 year round. Our power bills are not bad. We have a fixed morgage rate and so we know what our monthly payment will be.
I have never been on welfare and I was once a divorced mom with two young children. I am resourceful in finding odd jobs from home. I used to call and confirm doctor appointments for a large dermatology office. It paid pretty good. I had no overhead...just worked from home. See if you can do any work from home. If not, just stick to your budget and never charge luxury items..just necessities.

Answer 5

Well , we have 4 kids 2 boys 2 girls
one getting ready to start college that is 18 ,14 12 and our surprise 6 year old . my husband is in the navy and i am a waitress and we do quite well we have a mortage 2 car payments car insurance for 3 drivers and we do fine. the kids dont have to shop at walmart we eat well but we live within our means the oldest works and the 2 middle age kids babysit and do odd jobs for neighbors for extras that they want . for school shopping we put aside money all year for as well as christmas we do the same . if you have a plan its no problem we been doing it forever we have money for movies vacation whatever ya just have to budget i guess and we have never been on welfare or food stamp
i dont know wher you live but we live in washington state and i work a union hotel banquet waitress job about $30.00 an hour part time maybe you should change jobs as well we never paid childcare we always work opposite shifts and when the ship was out the oldest watched the baby

Answer 6

I have friends, their more like family really, and they have 8 kids. They are relatively low income, since the husband is the only one who has ever had a full time job. The mom now works part time now that there are no kids at home during the day (the youngest just started kindergarten). However, they used to live in the city where the schools aren't very good, and instead of working, she homeschooled all of the kids, from the time the oldest was 7. So at that point, she had a 7 and 5 year old in school and a 3 and 1 year old at home too, and was pregnant. It can be done. They never starved, they never went naked, they always had what they needed. The difference is that they didn't buy stuff they didn't need. They had a house, the kids had clothes, they had a couple cars that ran, and they had food. He had a job that offered medical insurance, but you know, insuring 8 kids is expensive. He didn't have a great job, but it payed the bills. There was even a point where he quit his job because they were asking him to do something illegal.. he came home and told his wife he quit, and she told him she was pregnant with child number 7.. funny how that works.

They made it by relying on God for help.. they never had welfare, they never asked anyone for anything.. but mysterious things happen to them.. like one Sunday they were going to have company for lunch after church, and so she asked her daughter that morning to make Kool-aid, but they had no sugar.. when they went out after church, someone left 10 lbs of sugar in their car.. another time, they came home to find $500 in cash in their mail box. They did all this relying on God for help. They even bought a house in a nice little country town, that is probably worth $200,000 for under $100,000, because the lady said she wanted to get rid of it fast and she thought their little boy was cute.

I'd also like to say that my mom raised 2 kids for 14 years by herself. We had one income. We didn't have welfare, we didn't have child support, and until I was 7 we took the bus everywhere because she couldn't get her license due to an injury. Her one income paid for daycare, paid for food, paid the mortgage, paid for our christmas and birthday presents, paid all the utilities, eventually bought us a car, took us to the beach about 5 days a week in the summer, we never felt like we went without anything. She even put $5 a week into savings for us every week from the day we were born until we were 18. She bought us each a $100 savings bond each year. It's all about priorities.. drive a used car, buy a smaller house, buy food thats on sale, and buy a lot of it at once..

My friends do not own a credit card, and never has a month gone by where my mom hasn't paid hers off.

We were allowed $100 a year to buy school clothes.. we didn't buy name brand clothes.. we bought cheap clothes, they don't last as long, but in a year they wont fit your kids anyway.

Answer 7

Well my husband and I are by no means well off. He is the only one working, but we have 3 kids. With our girls we can just hand down the clothing to each child that isnt out of season, ripped, or stained stuff like that. Not to mention I have two of them potty trained. We bought cheap diapers from wal-mart we spent 15 a week on diapers for 3 kids thats not bad at all. My husband is the only one working. We decided I would stay at home with the kids because we dont trust others to watch them and one of them has a medical problem. I love being home. and No we are by no means on welfare, we could never take another persons money because we chose to have kids. Not to mention they are 3, 2, and 1 so its really easy to buy stuff plus we hit yard sales and even salvation army if we want to. We do buy them name brand clothing and stuff like that after the husband works overtime, but other than that we think its pretty easy and we arent poor.

Answer 8

I have 5 children and 2 step children. The step children do not live with us but my husband pays child support. We are your average family on an average income and we survive. I have learned to cut corners when I can, use coupons, buy seasonal (clothing, school supplies, linens, furniture) when it goes on sale, and do things to supplement our income. I have learned that I am not going to have my home like Martha Stewart to be sure but I have what we need and we are happy. There is no secret, just careful planning and watching your pennies.

It is possible to have a big family and be average without going in to the poorhouse. You won't be near the Rockefeller's house, but hey who needs a life with lots of money when you have lots of love and insanity.

Answer 9

The secret is to have low expectations to match a low budget. If you have three kids and want them to get a good education (enough for them to get jobs that will put them on the same level as you and your husband are on) you can never do it on average income. Just resign yourself to the fact that costs keep going up and that they have very little chance of doing as well as you. Let's face it - average income is only one paycheck away from the poorhouse anyway.

Answer 10

Not a strange question - most people simply live beyond their means. Don't participate in so much consumerism and this will help you immensely - think of how people did it during the depression or in other countries. Instead of going to the mall for a family outing, go for a bike ride or walk through a cemetary (sounds creepy, but kids find it really facinating!)