We have been engaged for 6 months and I'm trying my best with this wedding and he has know interest. Are all guys like this?
2006-08-09 15:44:01 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
This day is not just about me, I haven't even mentioned the fact that I care so much to him. I'm doing everything he wants so far by shutting up about it. As for the money thing, I could care less, I mean I only spent $75 for my wedding dress.
2006-08-09 16:10:21 · update #1
It's not that he doesn't care....it's just that he's a guy. My fiance and I are getting married next May and at first he was fairly enthusiastic about it...not so much now. I think he's genuinely overwhelmed by all of it- and I can't say that I'm not overwhelmed sometimes too, really. But there's so many decisions- centerpieces, favors, decorations, invitations, cake toppers and slicers, champagne flutes, colors, food, flowers...I think it was just too much to take in, and he stopped randomly offering his opinion on stuff. So I asked him about it and here's what he said- he told me that he figured, on the whole, that the wedding was not just my day or his, but both of ours...our day to start the rest of our lives together. And while it would definitely be important to him, he knew that most girls start planning a wedding at the tender age of about 3 or so- myself included. He knew I had ideas in mind before I had a GROOM in mind and he didn't wanna ruin anything, and besides, he trusts me to make things look great. So I pretty much let him off the hook after that, and what do you know? He started little by little telling me his thoughts about stuff again- what stuff he DOESN'T like, etc. So don't worry- this is just not guy territory! What guy do you know that gets all wrapped up in lace and flowers and tiaras, etc.? Not one that's going to marry a woman anytime soon, anyway...so good luck with your wedding and don't be hurt by his lack of enthusiasm, I don't think they can help it.
Oh, and congrats on getting such a deal on your dress! hehe
2006-08-09 17:01:59 · answer #1 · answered by ntfd68 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you set a date yet?
Maybe he doesn't feel the need to start yet or don't know where to start. Some males can be just clueless.
Does he desire a long engagement (2+ year) or a short engagment (1 year)?
If he won't talk about it or give you interest. I wouldn't plan the wedding. I would stop and ask him if he desires to wait longer and wait until he starts to give idea's and help.
The major thing is communication. If you two lack communication now, then wedding should be not on the top list to do. You first need to learn to communicate, discuss ideas and get to know eachother. I wouldn't marry someone who didn't fork out the effort nor "cared".
To answer your question if "all guys are like this"?
No, they are not all like this. My fiance and I discuss it and it isn't for another 2 years. We plan to go wine tasting and ROAD TRIP to all sorts of beaches and locations. From ideas of who will be invited, ideas of decorations, ideas of locations, idea's of anything and everything.
He is very involved.
Reading other's responses. I think my man is what you would call a "needle in a hay stack". lol.......
2006-08-09 20:30:24 · answer #2 · answered by Mutchkin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't know your groom-to-be at all, do you? Men HATE weddings -- not marriage, just WEDDINGS. It has to do with the way men and women are wired. Women are emotion-based creatures, men are logic-based. Therefore, men see the total illogic madness of a wedding for what it is --- a tremendous waste of energy, resources and time. Everyone ends up miserable or mad, or both; costs are criminal and, admit it or not, the man is TOTALLY left out of the process. Oh the bride will ask him opinions about what damn lace napkins should be used at the reception but is ready to rip his head off if he gives anything but the correct answer. Just listen to a woman talk about a wedding; MY wedding this, MY wedding that, MY dress, MY flowers, MY cake, MY, MY, ME, ME...... no damn wonder your boyfriend has no interest. The whole thing is just idiotic. Why don't you two fly yourselves and parents to vegas and get married, have some fun and pocket that thirty thousand dollars for your future?
2006-08-09 15:56:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, not all guys are like this. However yours is so you need to work with it. My husband wasn't very interested in details, but I kept him up to date with what I was doing. Over time, he got more interested until he was making some of the decisions. Just remember the wedding day is only one day out of your entire marriage. Focus on the relationship first and the details second.
2006-08-09 20:18:34 · answer #4 · answered by midlandsharon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men don't typically care about weddings - it's more a chore than a fun event for them. It's just how they are programmed. Watch "Who's Wedding is it Anyway" or "Bridezilla" or "Real Weddings from The Knot" on TV - there aren't a whole lot of men that are all excited about picking out flowers and choosing linen colors. My fiance just cares about the big stuff (venue, mostly).
2006-08-10 00:48:06 · answer #5 · answered by PT&L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
...Yeah, what PPs stated. no longer in hardship-free words is it weird and wonderful that he ought to ask you to devise, positioned down deposits, etc. previously a wedding ceremony, that is not any longer straightforward to you. you would possibly want to be engaged - inspite of which ability to you 2 - previously planning a wedding ceremony. i ought to confer with him and tell him that you received't plan the marriage till you're formally engaged. Ask him why it is so significant that he watch for a suitable second. If that is not any longer that significant to you to have an excellent-planned out, romantic idea, it is also accessible to inform him that. some thing like, "i comprehend you want it to be ideal, and that is going to likely be, because you'd be the only asking me to marry you." in spite of the undeniable fact that that is not any longer proper for him to ask you to devise each and every thing with out his help or his good dedication to the engagement.
2016-11-29 19:37:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, pretty much. My husband definitely was. He just wanted to know where he had to be when, what he had to wear, and how much did it cost. Actually, cost was usually his first question too....LOL
It's just the male mind set, they don't usually get off on stuff like wedding planning like us girls. And that's probably good, because (not be be stereotypical here) but most guys I've know who HAVE gotten off on wedding planning, were gay. ;-)
2006-08-09 16:22:10 · answer #7 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hell yea girl! Trust me unless he's metrosexual and spends more than 7 minutes in the bathroom, trust when I say he won't give a rats butt on how you plan the wedding. Don't get upset he probably trusts your decision and likes what you like...........so go ahead and plan out that wedding girl but don't break the bank!!!!!!!
2006-08-09 15:48:50 · answer #8 · answered by Juicy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
most men are like this yes. did he propose on his own or did you bring up marriage first? Give your wedding a sports or car theme, thats the only way he'll be interested LOL
2006-08-09 16:09:50 · answer #9 · answered by ChrissyLicious 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most guys are affraid of getting involved. They're affraid of picking out the wrong flowers, or messing up the invitations, that kind of stuff. They look at it as our day and don't want to mess it up because they want it to be perfect for us. Talk to him about it, tell him you would really like his imput, but I'll bet that is what he is doing, keeping off your toes.
2006-08-09 18:29:48 · answer #10 · answered by ♥ Sarah Bear ♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋