I have seen in cemeteries that some people leave pebbles on the tombstones. Where did this tradition start?

Answer 1

It is customary to leave a small stone... on the grave
in honor of the deceased, to show that one has visited his grave."
Ba'er Heitiv (Orach Chaim 224.8)


No one really knows when or how the tradition of placing rocks or pebbles on tombstones in Jewish cemeteries actually began. The origin of this custom -- it is not Jewish Law -- is often explained as being a ritualistic vestige of our past as a nomadic desert tribe. In those days people were buried in cairns -- piles of pebbles and stones placed over graves -- which provided protection against the elements and especially against unearthing by wild animals. It is said that passersby, in acts of good faith, would often replenish depleted piles by adding a pebble to each grave.

Rabbis of the Talmudic era considered it an obligation to mark a grave by building a mound of stones. One prominent rabbi is said to have requested that after his death, everyone who passed by his tomb should place a rock upon it as a symbolic atonement for any sin he may have committed during his lifetime that he forgot to repent.

Some other explanations attribute the custom to a (not so) subtle form of surveillance employed by families in the small shtetl villages of Eastern Europe. Often the young children of a deceased parent were required to visit their family graves and place a stone on each one. That way, their elder siblings could count the stones and see how many of their younger siblings were living up to their familial obligations.

Another perspective reminds us that in death as in birth, everyone is equal, and that the lack of money needed for flowers should not prevent anyone from showing their respect. Everyone, no matter how rich or poor, could always find a stone. Finally, there is a more poetic perspective, likening the small bits of water condensation that form under the rocks at night -- and that trickle down the side of the tombstone each sunrise -- to tears of sorrow.

In the end, what remains -- what has trickled down to us -- is an enduring tradition observed by Jews all over the world. By placing a small stone on a tombstone, we are making a gesture of participation, renewing connection and symbolizing our presence. It is a simple yet elegant language for telling the dead and the living that respects are still being paid, and that the deceased are still loved and remembered. And yet, as the old rabbis were sure to point out, though the small stones we place now seem quite solid and invincible, they too shall someday turn to dust.

Answer 2

OK, I looked this one up, and this is what I found.

In Judaism, there are laws and customs. Placing pebbles on a tombstone is a custom, not a law. However, it's widely practiced and for relatively the same reasons that headstones are placed. From the time Jacob set a stone at the burial place of his beloved wife, Rachel, on the road to Ephrat/Bethlehem (Gen. 35:20). Since then, setting tombstones over graves (in Hebrew, they are called matzevot) has been a custom revered by Jews. The stone is a sign that the living remember the dead. The pebbles on the stone are like the stone itself; they are signs that this is a pious family who visits the grave of their loved one.

Answer 3

According to Rabbi Maurice Lamm (author of "The Jewish Way in Death and Mourning") the custom of placing stones on the monument "probably serves as a reminder of the family's presence. [The evidence that this grave is attended, visited and cared for, is respectful for the deceased - NS]. Also, it may hark back to biblical days when the monument was a heap of stones. Often the elements or roving vandals dispersed them, and so visitors placed other additional stones to assure that the grave was marked."

Also, by placing a stone we further participate in the "construction" of the tombstone -- which in itself constitutes a Mitzvah.

Answer 4

It's a Jewish custom:
"According to Rabbi Maurice Lamm (author of "The Jewish Way in Death and Mourning") the custom of placing stones on the monument "probably serves as a reminder of the family's presence. [The evidence that this grave is attended, visited and cared for, is respectful for the deceased - NS]. Also, it may hark back to biblical days when the monument was a heap of stones. Often the elements or roving vandals dispersed them, and so visitors placed other additional stones to assure that the grave was marked."

Also, by placing a stone we further participate in the "construction" of the tombstone -- which in itself constitutes a Mitzvah."
(a mitzvah, by the way, is a good deed.)

Answer 5

i have under no circumstances lengthy previous fantastically to envision graves (except well-spouse and youngsters like Marilyn Monroe or Rudolph Valentino) yet when i'm in a cemetery vacationing kinfolk i am going to regularly wander. some are so thrilling and say a lot in some words. you could no longer help yet ask your self about their lives. some human beings do charcoal rubbings of well-loved grave stones. One section i am going to't bypass into back is the newborn section. The sweet nicknames, the adorned plaques and the fast lives are too heartbreaking. /

Answer 6

It's a jewish tradition to show that someone has visited the grave. (we don't find flowers appropriate.)

Answer 7

I have never heard of that b4! It sounds like a nice tradition, thanks for asking that question too cause I am going to pick up on that.

Answer 8

don't know when it strated , but the Jewish people leave a small stone every time they visit the grave site

Answer 9

It is to show remembrance of that person. I believe it is an ancient Jewish custom.

Answer 10

I've heard it's Jewish tradition, I think.