I'm having Family Troubles.. bad ones which hurt my reputation within my family. Please help!?

Question

I think this all comes about because of my younger sister who gets away with anything. I know that most of my family likes her better than me. She can do whatever she wants. But the main reason i'm having trouble talking kindly or being nice to her is that she can do whatever she wants with my stuff. But somehow, I'm always the one who can't touch any of her possessions. If I do, I get in trouble. Everyone tells me that I am the older sister and should understand. I try to explain how depressed i get to my mom, but she never understands. Somehow, I end up in tears and it's all my fault. I feel as if no one understands me, because no one does. I wish I could be happy again. I'm been upset for way to long. This NEEDS to end. If you have any ideas or suggestions I would appreciate it. I'm a fourteen year old girl who needs help!

Answer 1

Talk to your mom straightforward, and your sister. Crying is all good, but what it comes down to is that you need to be honest. Tell your mom and your sister exactly what you just told me.

Answer 2

baby, tell me ask you something first... how old is your younger sister? the difference matters....
if she's very young, like younger than 11, since you are 14, the reason why she wants your things is because she wants to be like you... and you are going to have to try and see that as a compliment from your sister... and of course what you need to do is lock up your most prized possesions... your jewels if any... your boyfriends letters... or even your cd's and dvd's because she will not know how to take care of them.
If she's13 and she gets preferential treatment, ask yourself... do you give problems to your parents? like low grades in school? and she brings better grades than you do? do teachers complaint to your parents about your behavior and praise your sister's? if this is the case, just do an effort to make your parents proud, I come from a family where my older sister was a role model and I didn't seem to rival with her,m she was just too good and I was just a lazy ***, but one day I stepped up on my own and got more things done than even dreamed of... now even my sister admires me.
Now, if non of the cases apply, then baby, I'm sorry to say, your parents are being just plain unfair to you, and the only good suggestion I can make is, study hard, never drop school, never do drugs, and after a little while of a great effort you will be 18 and althoug not advisable you will be able to leave home and make a life of your own, with the pride that you always did the right thing.

Answer 3

Everybody has their troubles in life and believe me I have had my fair share! I understand what your going through at the moment, im 17 and have a 15 year old sister who can do no wrong but all you have to do is let her have all the attention and try your best to prove to yourself and to your family that their are two girls in the family that need the same amount of devotion and love to get them through all of life's difficulties, your mum might start to appreciate that she has a very mature daughter! You have said you have chatted to your mum about this and it doesnt sound as if she is listening so why not try writing your feelings down in a letter! She may undertsand how you feel more and you might feel better for doing it! You won't know if it works for you until you try it so good luck babe and don't worry everything will work out ok in the end!

Answer 4

What troubles you have there. Well the best advice I can give you is trying asking your mum again, and perhaps say look can we have a meeting about this around the kithen table. But you all going have to have your say hey not going easy this because someone going start shouting etc. And maybe you feel that your mom is on like you said your sister side. But without tears or shouting just say mum it not all anymore. I also think it very unfair of your mom making excuse for your sister. The only way is to confront the matter ok I know they going be shouting and slaming door but who's care the fact is it go to be dealt with it not far on you,and the rest of the household.

Answer 5

Ahh.. i don't have any siblings but I have seen so many families where the older kids get treated harshly by the parents and even worse by the little brats. The little uns get away with everything but the older ones have to do all the hard work and get no rewards. I guess because you have to be a role model towards the younger ones. Also, when your parents had you, they had a plan for you and don't want you spoilt and they are sticking to their plan. You will turn out better in the end and it's the little ones that get spoilt now because the parents realised this will be their last couple of children and so they want to spoil them and have fun with them. Your parents are doing whats best by you and your little sister is unfortunate to be spoilt. Just stick through it and you will become a stronger person.
Also, try to get along with your sister. You are both family and not enemies. I would've killed for siblings but it wasn't meant to be. Just try to get along and the love you get back will make you a happier person.

Answer 6

I agree that telling your mom and sister in a calm, collected way may be the way to go. Also consider things like making sure your belongings are put away, where your sister shouldn't have easy access to them. If you leave your favorite radio on the couch in the living room, for example, and little sis picks it up there and plays with it, then it was something you could avoid. If she's pilfering stuff out of your room, that is another story. That shouldn't be aloud, your privacy should be respected. Talk to your sister on her level, ask her how she would feel if you took her stuff, played with her toys, or rearranged stuff she keeps in a certain order? Tell her that you don't like it much, and that you'd really like it better if she asks you and you might lend her things or buy her some cool stuff of her own. Also be careful not to flaunt things in front of her, that could make the problem worse. Hope this helps!!!

Answer 7

If your sister is old enough to understand, sit her down and tell her how you feel. Tell her your feelings and how things appear to you. Ask for her input so she can feel part of the solution and not the problem. Come up with a way to stick behind each other and have each others back. You 2 need to be a team. Involve her,and try to get involoved in her life. Become closer with her.

Answer 8

The youngest ones always get spoiled. It's just a thing that happens and everyone else has to accept the family politics no matter how much they are hurting the others. It's unfair but you have to just get your own life and ignore what goes on at home. Find activities or hobbies you can do that you like.

Answer 9

i have dealt with many-a-tale a lifeless ringer for yours. so some distance as prying the jaws, it type of feels you've received adequate perception on that. possessing diverse dogs can be a chore, i comprehend. :) and that i'm conscious that you're experienced with taking care of a diverse canines family individuals. Congrats on your compassion and dedication to fostering. I basically prefer to assert, regardless of the critiques of others, that it ought to not get any more effective constructive with the struggling with. If those 2 have universal this kind of habit with one yet another, not something, not even praying, is going to override the instinct of a canines. For what ever reason, those 2 do exactly not get alongside. and considering the fact that they have been in diverse fights, you are able to be nicely responsive to the consequences. And it purely takes basically a million time for it to be deadly. Denial of the precedence is what receives the owner into difficulty. Please both attempt to locate between the animals yet another domicile or keep them separated. notwithstanding, separation takes dedication and consistency. i have dealt with an proprietor who tried to keep the dogs separated, yet ultimately they suddenly met one yet another and the proprietors elected to euthanize the instigator....the different one we tried to attend to, notwithstanding the injuries were basically too extreme. regrettably, the different puppy did not make it both. basically have the capacity to comprehend that attempting to artwork it out isn't contained in the great interest of the animals or you....be careful at the same time as breaking up a wrestle! continuously comprehend that there is a extreme possibility you'd be bitten. dogs are literally not worried about you at the same time as contained in the mist of doing so. canines bites are NASTY and continuously require antibiotics. sturdy luck....i'm sorry you've this kind of handful in the present day!

Answer 10

Why don't you ask your mom in a mature way if you can have your own cubbard or area where you can keep your stuff you don't want your sister to use....the key to getting more of what you want with parents is to not talk out of hurt feelings and anger but talk rationaly like an adult...you catch more flies with honey....be sweet how can they resist that...your parents are doing the best they can...nobody's perfect...they love you and care deeply about you...you are not hurting anyone but yourself by being jealous and depressed and hateful...it doesn't sound like that way is working for you...get involved in something...your sister looks up to you and wants to be you thats why she likes your stuff...take that for what it is even if it is annoying...your going to need her oneday....family is forever....

Answer 11

sweetheart, I'm sure your family loves you too. you are at a difficult stage in your growth...you probably can't see beyond what you feel your sister gets away with...

The easiest way to get a handle on your things is to get a better door lock or a lock-box. Put things you don't want seen or messed with in there. Don't try to "retaliate" if sis does something- RISE ABOVE IT.

If you feel depressed tell your mom you want to talk to a COUNSELOR...your school nurse can help you find one. It'll get better as you get older. Best of luck-