i'm tired of supporting my boyfriend. he has a master's degree and he hasn't found a job 'good enough' for him yet. problem is while he is being picky, our debts are rising. His pride won't let him get a job that's beneath him and usually i'd agree with him, but at this point a little part time job won't hurt. i recently found out he took money from our savings piggy bank with out my consent and that was truly the last straw for me. how should i say i've had enough without hurting his ego? I still love him, but i can not tolerate a grown educated man who will allow me to work double shifts to make ends meet while he passes up oppurtunities and steals from me.
2006-08-09 14:17:51 · 23 answers · asked by myfianceisamonkey 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Tell him exactly what you think. The man that does not get started never finishes.
2006-08-09 14:23:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The truth is communication is sometimes the hardest part of a healthy relationship.
Try this, "I noticed that you took some money from our savings piggy bank, I was disappointed by the fact that you didn't even discuss it with me first. I would like to be able to trust you in the future because I love you and you are important to me. Your needs are important to me too. I know "we" have a problem because you are not working, is there anything I can do to help you get a job? I am willing to tell absolutely everybody I know that you are looking for work, what your field of expertise is, and that you can start today. I will recommend you to everyone I come into contact with when I am at work. In return, I would ask that you would not pass up any more opportunities that come your way until we can get back on our feet. This is a two way street, and I want what is best for "US" not just me."
2006-08-09 21:33:02 · answer #2 · answered by Jessica M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry about "hurting his ego." It is not your responsibility to support your boyfriend. He is a grown up. He needs to get off his duff, swallow his pride, and find a job he can live with and start contributing financially to the relationship. He's been riding the gravy train long enough. To allow you to work double shifts AND, steal from you, so that he can continue sponging off of you would be enough reason for me to kick him to the curb.
2006-08-09 21:30:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he's comfortable with you being the breadwinner. As long as you're paying the bills for him to sit on his duff and collect dust, he's not going to be motivated to do anything. You're going to have to be blunt on this one, there's no two ways about it. Start by scaling back on the luxuries- start taking things away that cost money, or take up too much of his job-hunting time. That may sound childish, but if someone is acting like a child, you treat them like one. Take away his toys and don't give them back till he becomes a productive member of the workforce. Get off yer keister, meester, and start helping to pay the bills you create!
2006-08-09 21:27:44 · answer #4 · answered by ?princesshousewife? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
move at least 1/2 the money in all your joint accounts to a separate acct with just your name and than say when this joint $ is gone so are you. If he stays home and does the housework and such ok give him some leway but not much.
Do not touch your money until he is gone, you can make it own your own ,,, you have been all this time anyway
Do not buy him anything special. you want a steak buy one steak and he can have a hamburger
2006-08-09 21:26:39 · answer #5 · answered by G L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if i were you i would talk to him and tell him that you had enough and you don't want to loose him because of that.. and let him know that his "ego" should not let him watching you working double shifts.. and tell him that the greatest men on earth one day worked as dish washers!! am sure he would never be a dish washer so let him just take whats out there and start to work!! or he is too dump to deserve you ;))
2006-08-09 21:28:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he won't work,but he is willing to let you support him, says allot about him. Some time's you just have to tell it like it is. If he gets mad at you,where will he go? No J O B, no money,no where to go. He needs to grow-up now. One can live cheaper than two. if only one is working.
2006-08-09 21:27:18 · answer #7 · answered by whataboutme 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Convince him that he needs to grow up and get over that childish "I'm too good for that" attitude.
My nephew was driving a truck delivering beds for a couple years after he had his Ph.D. in chemistry. Any work is valid experience in your life. And it helps with the bills.
2006-08-09 21:23:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Play The Offspring's "Why Don't You Get a Job"
"My friend's got a boyfriend and she hates that d***k (hey now)
She tells me every day (woo! every minute now)
He wants more dinero just to stay at home
Well my friend
You gotta say: (say! say!)
I won't pay, I won't pay ya (woo), no waaaay
now, now, Why don't you get a job?"
Have a nice talk with him and tell him to do it.
2006-08-09 21:23:16 · answer #9 · answered by KM 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WELL LOVE TELL HIM LIKE YOU JUST TOLD US, SOUNDS TO ME HES JUST A LAZY GIT WHOS LETTING YOU DO ALL THE WORK, YOU MAY AS WELL LIVE ON YOUR OWN OR WITH A FRIEND WHO WILL GO HALVES ON BILLS, HE SHOULD FEEL ASHAMED YOU WORKING HARD & PAYING EVERYTHING BUT HE MUSENT BE OR HE WOULDNT OF HELPED HIM SELF TO YOUR MONEY, TELL HIM GET A JOB OR GET ON HIS BIKE, GOOD LUCK,
2006-08-09 21:25:13 · answer #10 · answered by KATIEKAT 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋