Mothers: Is this a taboo?

Question

I just read in a women's magazine in the doctor's office that it is a taboo to love your husband more than your children.

Who agrees? Do you love your husband more than your children, or vice versa? I know you love them both, but what would be worse: being widowed, or losing one (or all) of your kids? Whose needs and priorities would you put first, if husband and children had opposing needs?

Would you be shocked by a woman who said she loved her husband more than her children?

Sorry, question is only open to mothers who have, or have had, a husband.

Answer 1

I love my husband more than my children. He works very hard so that I can stay home and be with the girls. He will also be with me long after they have gone on to families of their own. I tell him frequently that I love him more today than yesterday and less than tomorrow.

Answer 2

I don't have children and I am not married, but I feel I can answer this question just as well as anybody.

You'll love them both in different ways and you cannot and should not even try to compare one love to the other. You love your children, they are a part of you. You will be there for them until they can do things for themselves, and you will be there for them to help pick up the pieces when they think they can do things for themselves and find out they cant. You will always love your children.

You will love your husband. In a perfect world you will love him for the rest of your life. You love him differently than your children but that doesn't mean you love him any more or any less. Since this world isn't perfect, there is a chance you will one day not love your husband, but that doesn't mean that you loved him less than your children when you did love him.

The thing people are confusing is loving as opposed to putting first. You should put your children first when they are young, and a good husband would understand that. Your children need you to do things for them. Your children are defensless and your husband is not.. in the same sense your husband should be doing the same.

When your children are older and can do things for themselves, you shouldn't put either one first. You should spend equal time with both, because while they still need you for some things, your husband needs you too, and at this point, your children are not defensless..

There will come a time when your children will leave you and all you will have left is your husband. It wont mean you don't love your children just as much as you did before, it just means they aren't your number one priority.. because this is your time with your husband.

The person whose needs you should put first are the one's whose needs are most important, depending on the situation, not the person.

Answer 3

It's a totally different kind of love, so I couldn't say I love one MORE then the other. However, I would not be surprised to hear that a hubby is the priority in a woman's life - over the children. Children are a wonderful gift ( I know, I have 3), but the relationship with your hubby MUST come first, otherwise you'd be just another single mom.

Answer 4

My husband comes before my children in many things... It is he and I that will be together long after our children are grown and on their own. If I believe that my husband is incorrect about something that I would consider my children taking first priority than I would go with what I believe.
I don't love my husband any more than I love my children. I love him differently than I love my children.

If there were a matter of abuse or neglect by my husband I would obviously kick him to the curb. I can replace a husband if necessary... but nothing could replace my children.

I truly believe every scenerio would give you a different answer... How old are the children? What are the circumstances? Etc....

Answer 5

I will always put my children over anyone else. Over my husband, over my parents, over the rest of my family. It's not that I don't love these other people - but my children are my children. They are the ones that came into this earth because of me. I am solely responsible for them.

It's not really a taboo thing - it's just the way it is. We see our children as offspring of us. I think that this is more for women who have their children naturally - not adopted. I would definitely be shocked if anyone told me they loved anyone over their children. I have almost 7 children. I always put them first. With no asking of anything in return except respect, and obedience. In return, I have so far 5 amazing, beautiful, hightly intelligent children that I am so thankful to God for.

If one of my children and my man were hanging off the cliff, and I could only save one - I would definitely pick my child. And, hey - my husband has a higher life insurance policy anyways.

Men are replaceable. If it wasn't the case, we wouldn't date. We would marry one man, and not date any other beforehand. And, we wouldn't be able to divorce and remarry.

Children are not replaceable. I'll never have another firstborn son, no matter how many other sons that I have. And although I have many children, they each have a special place in my heart. And in those places, they are always my first priority in my life.

Answer 6

I don`t have any kids but let me just say that, to me, my husband is my soulmate and to live without him seems impossible to me.
When I do have children, I will love them completely but I´m pretty sure that I´ll love my husband more than them. He is truly my other half

Answer 7

Well, it's two different kinds of love which cause different emotions etc. I think that since a child is actually made from your being that it may be emotionally more difficult to bury a child for that reason.

Answer 8

No, it is not taboo. Somebody can't stop their feelings. If they want to love their husband more, that's their business, and there's nothing wrong with that.

Answer 9

My wife and I go into this site and answer question all the time so I dont want you to read this and think its just my point of view. My wife and I both believe that your children come first. Before each other and ourselves.

Answer 10

My children are always 1st. it would be worse for me to lose a child than my hubby, and I would be shocked to hear a woman loves her hubby more than her kids. I think that would be sad.