2006-08-09 12:40:45 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Happily divorced!!! ( I know from experiance!)
2006-08-09 12:43:10 · answer #1 · answered by ERICA-LYNN 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How mature are the parents? If the parents are mature adults who are calm and rational, then an attempt at marriage counseling on behalf of the kids would seem the most logical choice. Sometimes in a marriage, it appears that each spouse may want out of the marriage, almost making themselves more miserable than things really are.
If the marriage can remain stable then the kids environment would be minimally impacted depending on their age levels.
If however, the parents are unable to disassociate the emotional blackmail from the daily life of family, then a separation may be warranted where the kids have a connection that still resembles the family environment. Divorce in a child triggers finality, while a separation, giving mom and dad an opportunity to "fix" things prepares them in advance should a reconciliation not happen, and sometimes this is enough to correct the marriage making it better, stronger and lasting.
I don't believe there are too many kids that avoid damage from a divorce so I don't know if "better off" would be an accurate depiction.
I would strongly urge that both parents refrain from any involvement with a third party as this will set up the kids to take sides and that is never healthy or positive.
2006-08-11 18:02:51 · answer #2 · answered by jv1104 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know a lot of people whose parents stayed together for the kids, but were outwardly unhappy (not even abusive, violent kind of situation, just unhappy), it was obvious to the kids, and the kids even knew that they would have been better off to go their separate ways. When you are unhappily married it is more difficult for kids to learn how marriage should be. They don't get to see affection between the spouses, good times, bad, resolution, forgiveness. What kind of spouses will they be when the time comes? On the flip side, yes, the marriage ended, but if the spouses pull together and do what is right for the kids, the kids might be better adjusted. There are many things to consider when deciding to stay or go. The scary thing is most of the time you don't know until your kids are grown up if they thought you did the right thing. The other thing is that we often think that our own happiness should not trump that of our chidlren's. Without making rash decisions or acting impulsively, we have a right to do what will make us happy too. If it's a bad marriage, and you're unhappy, what good are you to your kids?
2006-08-09 14:32:46 · answer #3 · answered by Chris 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's why my fiance and I aren't married; there's no chance of divorce. Honestly I think older kids are happy with happily divorced parents while younger kids are better off with unhappily married parents. Just because mom and dad don't get along doesn't mean they can't do it for the kids.
2006-08-09 12:44:48 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your kids will do what you do. So if you are unhappily married, if you are fighting, and calling eachother names, or are just always angry with eachother, your kids will think this is normal. Younger kids will pick up on this.. and will act out. You are doing your child a great amout of harm by not divorcing if things can't be fixed. However, I think that all steps should be taken to try to fix a marraige before getting divorced. Divorce seems to be the latest fun thing to do now and it seems that people are throwing away marriages more often than their trash.
2006-08-09 15:20:57 · answer #5 · answered by rccola1979 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was trying to answer this question for my own life as well. I have a 12 month old and am leaving her father. I am a depressed mess because of him and if I am not happy, there is NO WAY my child will grow up happy. I feel that children growing up in a home where there is no love between the parents will in the end teach them apathy. So I am going to say happily Divorced!!!! Before anyone gets on the bandwagon of death do you part.....I have tried everyhting on my part to work it out, you can't work it out with someone who doesn't love you!!!!
2006-08-09 14:05:45 · answer #6 · answered by Easter Bunny 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
2 Happily divorced
2006-08-09 13:23:23 · answer #7 · answered by walkerhound03 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would think 2 happily divorced parents. Even if the parents don't act unhappy kids can sense when something is not right.
2006-08-09 16:49:34 · answer #8 · answered by snugglebears797 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know this is so going to come out the wrong way but i have to say 'DIVORCED'
Reason for this is two unhappily married people are only going to swear .. yell ... get violent ... physical violence even .. and the kid will just live by those examples...so DEFINITELY divorced .. least one parent will be at peace .. kind of :)
2006-08-09 12:53:09 · answer #9 · answered by tantalus1076 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most research indicates that children are happy in a happy home, and a home with 2 unhappy parents is not a happy home. Actually there was recently a story on the Today show about the fact that staying together for the kids is not good for the kids. You might want to check it out.
2006-08-09 12:46:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Much better to have divorced parents....who communicate....and are happy..... children are very smart and know when their parents are not happy. Raising them in an unhappy home with not show them any lifeskills for when they become adults. Raising them in a seperated family is NOT the end of the world as long as the parents are happy parents. Good Luck..God Bless...there is life after divorce! L.Butler
2006-08-09 12:45:52 · answer #11 · answered by Lynne B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋