3 kids one mom.... I can't do it all.?

Question

Okay... I am a mother of 3 children... I have reached a point where I feel like I need to give up. My kids run my house like a pig pen and I can't keep up. I love all my kids equally. I talked to their dad about taking one of them. I feel like I'd be doing our kids a favor but at the same time I feel like I would be possiably hurting the one child. I know I need help, want to leg go, but I am afraid of letting go. I am also afraid of the emotional well being of my middle daugher if I let her go. Any thoughts?

Answer 1

I know exactly how you feel. I have three children under the age of five, and at times I just want to give up. You will be OK, hang in there, take some deep breaths, and calm down.
You need to develop some clear cut rules first off the ones that worked for me were
1. no eating or drinking away from the table
2. keep all of your toys in your rooms and if you don't want me to throw them out then pick them up
3. If you are going to make a mess, pick it up or you will go in time out
It also helps if you can get your kids out of the house for a few hours every day to run around and act like kids. It will help them to get some of their energy out so that they don't take it out on your house.
Sometimes when kids get bored they can also be very destructive and whiny and messy. Make games out of picking up, it will keep them entertained and they will be able to help you out.
one that worked for us was I told them " See who can pick up the most toys" and then we raced to pick up the toys and get them to the toy box. Then we started on something else, they had fun and they helped and it made them feel good.
Have their dad take them for the weekend and that way you can get some stuff straightened up, and also take some time to relax and go out with friends or do something fun so you will feel less stressed out.
Your kids need to know when you mean business. Get down to their level, look them in the eye, and tell them what is going on and what they need to do. They need clear boundaries so they know what is expected of them. Have a friend or family member take just one or two of your children once a week for a few hours and spend some real one on one time with your kids. Talk to them, play with them, and just spend time to let them know how special that they are to you. It will make them feel better and they will start to act better. It is also a nice calm time for them to get out of their system whatever is bothering them. Then you can deal with that and also explain to them how they should act.
Being a mom is the hardest job you will ever do, but it can also be very rewarding
It sounds like you may also be depressed, go to a doctor and they can assist you in getting it treated.
If you feel like you are going to hurt one of your children walk outside get out of the situation and call for someone to come help you out before you do something you will regret forever.
I hope this helps you out, you can also feel free to email me whenever you want and I will talk to you.

Answer 2

Just gonna give up huh? Your kids deserve better. Nobody ever said parenting was easy. You have to set boundaries with your kids and expectations. If you're a family you help eachother out, you're right, one person cannot do everything. Sure, it's easier to just give a child away, but do you think that child is stupid and won't know what's going on? Think again. It's time to get some parenting help and a backbone here lady. YOU run your house, not the kids. When they have a job and pay their own way, then they will have a say, but right now they depend on you for everything. Respect is a two way street, you want it you give it, it's not automatic, no matter what anyone says today. Ya'll need to be a team and work together like one...where they know that you are team leader and the final say. Communicate with your kids, put up boundaries and consequences for crossing those boundaries, that's the only way things will work out. Quit looking for the easy way out here, you owe it to your children to be the best mom that you can be...and newsflash here, sometimes you gotta be the bad guy and put your foot down...it's not popular but what are you trying to do? Raise healthy, thinking, responsible adults or a party buddies? It's not kewl of you to checkout on your kids, you owe them more than that sister.

Answer 3

My cousin has 4 kids and aside from child support, the father does nothing. He doesn't even live in the same state. How old are your kids? Is the father a good one and does he live close by? Is there a way you all could have joint custody? Are your parents around that could help you out? Even though we don't like to burden grandparents they are ususally more than willing to help out. Try to keep the kids active and involved if possible. Sign them up for camp and after school programs. Not only will this help you have time to keep your sanity, but it is good for the kids. It will help with socialization etc and can help the kids out when they get home.

As far as the chaos at home, try to come up with a routine. After dinner they take turns taking showers/baths etc. Try your best to stick to it. Maybe a relative will keep the kids for a weekend so that you can get things straightened up at home and then you can start from there. Good luck!!

Answer 4

I actually have an 11, 5, and a million 3 hundred and sixty 5 days previous with slightly one on the way, due in February. Dad has to assist out lots. I actually have realized that i will't problem about the abode being messy. I keep it clean, yet no longer neat. there is continuously something to be carried out, yet I positioned off appearing a number of them so i am going to observe a particular prepare on television only for me. I provide certain chores to all the little ones. The 11 3 hundred and sixty 5 days previous and 5 3 hundred and sixty 5 days previous help out lots, yet additionally they make a contribution to the mess. merely hit upon undemanding strategies to settle for that it may't all be carried out each of the time. you're in straightforward words one, having to stay alongside of three. in the adventure that they are satisfied and fed, you're doing large!!

Answer 5

First of all, get someone to come and clean your house a couple times a month. Also, enlist the kids help in terms of cleaning, especially their messes. Even kids as young as 12 months can help put toys away. Instead of sending one child to dad's house and keeping the other 2, you should have them take turns going to dad's house. For example, each child gets to spend 1 week with dad. That way, each child gets time with dad as well as you getting some relief. Also, get a babysitter and go out once a week. That will give you some time out.

Answer 6

ok, now that you read all the stupid answers, maybe this will give some focus. Sit down with the kids and have a family meeting and explain to them that you can't do this all by yourself and that you need their help. I am not sure how old your kids are, but give them each a task or two to do. One can vacuumm, one cleans the kitchen, etc. Have it written down. When you come home and the items are not done, sit down with that child and have another talk with them. Help them be a part of your solution rather than the problem.

Answer 7

First of all who is the BOSS at home ??? You or your kids????
You make the rules at home and if they are old enough to help with shores then make them help you... If your daugther wants to go and live with dad it is okay but as a daugther she will be needing more a mom than a dad.Don't force any of your kids to move out unless they really want to ( kids are better with mom)..
Do what I do I have 2 kids(5 & 20 months) & my step son (10 yrs)once in a while visit us for few weeks and I'm expecting my third...
I do laundry ONLY on Saturday or Sunday unless is necessary to do it during the week.
Kids are allowed to play only in their rooms but they will clean up their mess even the little one knows he needs to help with the mess..
They are allowed only to eat in the table non on the living room or room..
My 5 yr old help me to place her clean clothes in her drawers & takes out the trash. My step son has also shores when he comes.
Dinner is served between 7 & 8 that way they can take a shower watch TV before or after for a while but homework has to be done. I don't allowed for clothes, shoes, or toys to be all around the house... I migth sound strict but I;m not this way I can have more time to spend with them and with my hubby he also helps around the house... But it is only about having them know that there are rules & they need to be follow just remember YOU are the BOSS ...... GOOD LUCK!!!!

Answer 8

You need super nanny!!! Often times we are overwhelmed with work,fiancees and at the end of the day do we really have the energy for 3 screaming, fighting ,slamming doors ,talking back, messy room ,no choirs doing,potty mouths BRATS!!! The answer is yes!!! Make some house rules stick to them and in a couple week you will see a change. Good luck and God speed

Answer 9

I do not think you should give any of your kids up because that child will be wondering why you want to give her away. That is not a good solution at all. What you should do is let their dad come get them on the weekends to give you a break. If that doesn't work find someone who will babysit for you so that you can get get a break. Please re-think giving a child up. Since school is out they could go stay with their dad for a week maybe; so that you can get a break. I hope my advice helped you!!!

Answer 10

You answered your own problem - your kids are running your house, and it's your fault as a parent. You need to be in charge. Do some research about establishing routines and organizing your family. Get yourself some counselling, don't be selfish and realize that you are now living your life for your children. Be grateful you have them. Love them and they will return the love a zillionfold.

Answer 11

you are their mom and they depend on you if that isnt enough then nothing is. You brought them here they didnt chose to be here dont make life any harder for them then it already is.. See a doctor and release some of your stress and anger. god has blessed you and I know it is hard but in the end our kids are all we have to work for besides god. Stop being quick to judge what you can and cant do. You can do it just keep moving forward. I know stress can get the best of you sometimes but you cant stop look for something fun to do as a family to get out and be active in a non stressfull enviorment like skating or bowling. take your mind off the stress. You can do it dont give up or you are saying it is ok to give up and they might give up on thereselfs. I know I was adopted I was given up on luckly I got my faith renewed by being given another chance.