Would you hold the door open ?

Question

I got hit in the face with a door! When I asked the guy why he didn’t hold the door open he said he was afraid I would get mad and think he was trying to dominate me. I could understand his fear, ridiculous as it may be. But I think letting the door hit someone in the face is ruder then holding it open. I don’t know who started this “you can’t hold the door open for me because I’m a woman” thing but I wish they would have considered the results of such thoughtlessness. How would you know a man is trying to dominate you unless you can read thoughts? Assuming all men think one way is called stereotyping! All men don’t think that way. I hold the door open for everyone, I think everyone else should to.

It's good to know there are still people with manners. Sometimes I feel different because I say please and thank you, and expect that people wont let doors hit me in the face just to be courteous. There are a lot of polite people out there. I just feel sometimes political correctness gets in the way of common sense.

By the way, Norskeyenta, I did not think it was nessassary to get into detail, but since you’ve decided to be so blunt I’m afraid I must. Let me make this clear. I was not expecting the door be held open for me. It looked as if he was holding it open for me. I was getting ready to walk through with a bundle of books in both hands; this was at the college I attend. I thought he was being polite. Then it seemed as if he hesitated and let go, right in my face. Then, after I hit the floor, his female friend helped me up, and asked if I was all right. I said I was fine, but thought that her friend was holding the door open for me. To which he explained that he was, but thought against it because he did not want me to think he was “dominating” me etc. PS. Norskeyenta, even if you dislike what someone has done there are more tactful ways of getting your message across, I was rather offended by your statements.

Answer 1

1. American etiquette says we hold the door for the person behind us out of courtesy. It has nothing to do with what sex you are. Sex is an arbitrary factor.

2. Consider yourself lucky that this man is not a relative, boyfriend, husband, or friend. You may never have to cross paths with this man again.

3. Some foreigners don't. It may not be part of their culture. So, you have to give them a little leeway in learning American customs, like passing on the right of the sidewalk, not walking abreast so people have to walk on the grass to get around them, allowing everyone off the elevator before entering — just a few examples.

4. If you feel the need to address the situation with a foreigner, do so politely. It will go a long way & also help them learn a new part of American etiquette, thanks to you, that day.

Good luck. Warm regards.

Answer 2

Too bad that you had to experience a man that does not have any old time manners. Not many young men have been trained by their Fathers to hold the door open. These same kind of young men, don't even help their own Mothers thru the door. I have witnessed old women holdiing the door open for their gray headed sons. I help all kinds through the door ways and also you find the same rudeness in driving.
Another thing !! Why would you excpect a man to hold the door open for you. There are not many so called Gentlemen around anymore. You even find that some of the old men, have a huge attitude twords women. Nobody wants to help people anymore. They all figure first come, first served. I would not want any man to hold the door for me and I would never ask a man why he hadn't held the door. I am sure he thought that you are an outspoken person and deserved to be hit in the face.

Answer 3

Yes, I hold the door and always look behind me to check if anyone is coming toward that door.

I was raised that way and I have taught my children to do the same. It is not too much work, it is a courtesy to fellow human beings.

Why in the world would someone run in and intentionally let the door close on someone else? If they are insulted by the courtesy of me holding the door for them, I politely explain that that was the way that my father raised me.

Answer 4

I am a southern woman-its a part of our day to day life to encourage the little things that make us friendlier and kind.
Manners are critical.

My 3 year old son will hold the door for you!
He will say Please, Thank you and Yes Mame & Sir!
He says Bless you when you sneeze! HE IS 3 years old.
It starts at home and ripples out to the "Real" world.

Bad manners is a sign of lack of character! Pride and respect are both earned.

I have a tendancy to "say thank you" PRIOR to them getting to the door first and praise them everytime, so they will open it. As a woman, I will hold the door for any MOM with kids and anyone who can't open it.

Answer 5

i will carry the door open. i don't think of that is rude at the same time as human beings do not say thanks yet take exhilaration in at the same time as they do. i hit upon it rude at the same time as i'm taking off a door to enable the guy that i'm with in or out and some different person shoves their way with the aid of first.

Answer 6

I will hold the door for a man if he is close , but I will wait longer and hold a door for a woman .
If someone holds the door for me I always say thank you.

Answer 7

as a courtesy if i have the door i hold it for any one and yes i will make it a point to hold the door for ladies and i have never had any that were rude beyond saying nothing and walking through as though i was expected to hold it for them and yes it is irritating when that happens and i usually want to put my foot in their *** for it