How do I cure my 3 year old son's fear of being alone at night?

Question

My son, after years of being perfect in his room is now terrified of his room at night. He screams bloody murder and says he doesn't want to be alone. We even redid his room in dinosaurs, his favorite, and he's still doing it. The hall light is on now, his night lights aren't adequate any more. Any suggestions??

Answer 1

I taught young preschool for a few years, and I just stayed with the ones that were hard to get to sleep until I was sure that they were deep asleep. Different techniques work for different kids.

Some like to be sung to sleep.

Sometimes it helps to play music.

Some kids calm down when you draw soft little circles on their foreheads with your finger.

Some respond to combing their hair with your fingers.

Most really relax and go to sleep easy with foot massages or back rubs.

Then there is the desperation method: Wear them out so that they are too tired to do anything but sleep. The downside to this is usually you are too tired to do anything but sleep, too.

He's old enough to express his feelings, so talk to him about it, too.

Answer 2

For starters don't discredit his fear, be understanding when he expresses that he doesn't want to be alone.
I would begin a nightly routine that makes going to bed a fun thing, nice warm soothing bath, Mom and or Dad tucking him in, giving him a favorite snuggle toy and reading him a story or two.
If after the story he hasn't drifted off or protests being left alone I would stay with him until he drifts off but make sure he remains in his bed. He is very young and needs reassurance that you will be there for him.
You can't leave him when he is frightened after all he is looking to you to make him feel secure. Just gentle reminders that he is safe and you are there are enough, don't mention any specifics and give him ideas on what to focus his unknown fear on.
Above all do not say to him that there is nothing to be afraid of,t his sends a mixed signal that you are not legitamizing or believing what he is feeling is true.
This is a phase so realize it will pass, my daughter went through this as well.
It is probably a good idea at this time to just do a little checking about what he is seeing or hearing throughout the day. Is he seeing television that might not be proper for his age, news and commercials for crime shows or things like that can leave the little mind to wander. Also some kid programs might upset him in a way that adults might not really consider, cartoons with a scary dog or something of that nature.
Good luck and I hope he is sleeping comfortably soon, you too :)

Answer 3

Dear mom,
my little brother started behaving just like that when he was about 6-7 years. It would bring my mom to madness, but in the end, for such a thing, you shouldn't seek for a reason outside. It might be a strong feeling that he's all alone, and that there's no one to protect him(while he sleeps alone, separated from parents).Leaving the light on, all night is a solution, but definetley not a long-term one. He's going trough faze, where his imagination works a lot, and twists the reality into something else. For example, something he's afraid of a lot.
You should konvince him that there are no reasons at all, that he should be afraid of. Show him that you are close, and not going anywhere. Convert his room, full of his fears, into something where he'll feel safe.

Answer 4

I know my situation is slightly different but I have a 3 year old boy who was scared of his room for awhile too. We recently moved and his new room has a ceiling fan (the old room didn't). The light from the night light was throwing shadows on the ceiling fan and it scared him. It took awhile for him to be able to tell me what it was because at first he couldn't come up with the right words, but once i got him calmed down and away from the situation he was able to tell me. Maybe you should try talking to him and comforting him to see what the problem is. I also find on nights when my son just can't sleep because something has him scared, if I lay with him for a few minutes and he can feel my body next to him, he calms down and goes to sleep because he feels safe. Plus its a nice bonding time and a little relax time in my evening routine before I have to get up and finish the evening dishes.

Answer 5

Something he may have seen or heard about may have triggered a fear. Let him have a stuffed animal to cuddle with at night time. Sit on his bed at night and talk to him about his fears. Let him know that everything is just the same in the dark that it is in the light. Actually, let him have a flashlight. If he gets scared he has the control of shining a light on whatever it is that scares him. Read to him. Read happy books on his bed at night and maybe his mind will be thinking of other things when he drifts off to sleep. Ask question at the end of the book, like cinderella for example, of if you were the handsome prince who would you pick at the ball....cinderella or the step-sisters? How would you find out who fit the glass slipper? His mind may be thinking of thoes questions as he drifts off to sleep.

Answer 6

Ok, been through this one myself.

1) Try to find out why your son is terrified at night.
2) Talk to him, work out a solution together. Find your son's "comfort" zone.

There are also times you just have to say "NO"

You might also have to consider taking your son to a "play" therapist. My son went to one for other reasons, but this type of therapist is great with small children and may be able to help you find an answer to your son's night terrors.

Answer 7

Well if you ask me well put him in the room and leave the hall way light on and keep the light on and then leave him alone and play slow songs to relax his mind and he gone fall asleep or you can lay beside him sing to him rub his tummy and get him a warm glass of milk and then when he fall asleep leave out the room

Answer 8

Simply ask him what is different in his room that he is afraid now.

Leave a radio on for him
Play an audio book tape for him while he falls asleep
Read him to sleep
Put photos of the family all over the walls
Play tapes/cd's of outdoor calming sounds
Let him rearrange his room (or direct you in doing it)

Answer 9

He is only 3 years old (just a baby still). Let him sleep with you until he falls asleep then put him back in his bed. After a while he will realize that he is waking up in his own bed and that nothing happened to him.

Answer 10

Try to explain to him that you are only across the hall and you will be there if he needs you.Dig out his baby monitor and put it in his room and let him know that you always be there for him no matter how old he is .Cause that's what us moms are for.