My boyfriends college friend is getting married. I've become close friends with his fiance over the past year and a half. They asked my boyfriend to be in the wedding and not me because they don't want to include me and not someone else. She is including only family on her side. I still feel sad and a bit hurt. I need some advice to get over this.
2006-08-09 09:43:15 · 13 answers · asked by Annie One 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
you are not family so that is why but it still feels sad since your boyfriend is in the wedding...time to let the sad go and have a good time
2006-08-09 16:40:53 · answer #1 · answered by Library Eyes 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's totally understandable that you would feel a little hurt but I'm sure that if you were getting married and you had a lot of family that you were close with, you would do the same thing. I'm sure she has other friends from high school and college that she wanted to include as well but you can only have so many bridesmaids. Ask her if there's anything you can do to help with the wedding. If your boyfriend is in it you will probably have to be there the day before anyway and you can offer to help decorate or run errands. She'll definitely appreciate your help!
2006-08-09 16:54:51 · answer #2 · answered by Reverie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) You've only known her for a fraction of the time her other bridesmaids have known her. You may be with your boyfriend, but that doesn't mean you have to be in the wedding too.
2) It's her wedding! At your wedding you can do whatever the heck you want to do! It may hurt now, but learn from this experience. When you get married, how would you handle it?
*My fiance wasn't asked to be a groomsman at his only sibling's wedding. He wasn't even a back-up. You learn to get over little details and learn.
3) Enjoy the wedding. Don't let this hinder your relationship either. Go and have fun!
2006-08-09 19:21:28 · answer #3 · answered by FaZizzle 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask to involve yourself in some of the "tasks" of the wedding. Just say that you understand why you were not asked to be in the wedding, but you would love to be able to help with favors or centerpieces or anything that needs to be done.
I'm getting married myself and it was SO difficult choosing bridesmaids! I have friends that I feel like I should have asked, and would have liked to have asked. But I already have 5 BM's and I don't want more. The more BM's, the more limo's, the more money, the more drama. I know it sounds a bit selfish, but it's hard choosing!
2006-08-09 17:18:01 · answer #4 · answered by PT&L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I felt sad that one of my co workers asked the other girl and not me. But who cares? At least you don't have to spend the money, wear an ugly dress that you will NEVER wear again, uncomfortable shoes and pay to get your hair done. Buy a sexy outfit to go to the wedding in and have fun. She might not be able to afford to have that many people in the wedding. If she is only having family and not friends that is a clue that she can't afford it. JUst let her know that you are there to help out and do anything that she wants and don't get offended. At least don't show that you are offended.
2006-08-09 17:17:59 · answer #5 · answered by michiganwife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Offer to help her with things on the day of the wedding and planning. Trust me there will be lots to do on the day of.
Remember, she's only known you for a year and a half. She has people on her side that are family that have known her all her life.
2006-08-09 21:09:38 · answer #6 · answered by Gracie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make the day an extra fun day for you.
Don't concern yourself with the details of the wedding. Let your boyfriend do that part.
Buy a nice dress. Have a spa day, get your hair done, maybe even a manicure/pedicure. Show up looking and feeling your best and have a great time.
2006-08-09 17:21:33 · answer #7 · answered by treday25 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't feel sad. She has only known you for a year and a half. She is having her family be in her wedding. It is her day and her choice. It is nothing personal against you.
Trust me when you get married you will understand. There are only so many positions in a wedding and you are bond to hurt someone.
2006-08-09 16:49:11 · answer #8 · answered by Raspberry 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't take it personal. imagine this was your wedding and you had to include your family. i'm sure she's not doing it to be mean. just go to the wedding and have fun. you'll have a chance to be in some other wedding some day and if not..who cares. it's not that fun anyway. it's stressfull and time consuming. cheer up and fele better
2006-08-09 16:49:58 · answer #9 · answered by vicky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think about it from the bride's perspective. Do you really think you take precedence over a sister or cousin she's known for all her life? It's not about you -- this is the bride's day. Help her out by being supportive. It could have been worse -- they could have decided not to invite you to the wedding at all.
2006-08-09 18:38:19 · answer #10 · answered by wahine 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋