If you are unhappy in your marriage, is it GOD's will to stay in that marriage? does FREE WILL lead to Divorce

Question

This is to Christians... (not category for Christians under religion)
I want to stay in my marriage, but my wife does not. She says that she has prayed that GOD's will be done (as have I)... she still wants a divorce, and says that it must be because of GOD's will.
The Bible tells me that Divore is NOT what GOD would choose (ie... God's will).
Could GOD's will ever be "divorce"?
She says that she does not want to see a counselor, or our pastor, or read christian books on the matter, because she knows what they will all say...

Answer 1

The Christian answer is simple: God will never violate His commands. He hates divorce. God's will is for families to stay together.

In fact, your wife's desire not to see a counselor or pastor or read any books on the subject should be a clear indication of what she believes on that as well--she doesn't want to be told how wrong she is by thinking that God thinks divorce is okay.

The purpose of marriage is so much more than basic general happiness for both people. In fact, all marriages will have times of happy and sadness. Therefore, not being happy is not grounds for divorce.

I suggest that you start going to a Christian counselor right away, even if she does not go. This is a very delicate time and it would be very easy to make a wrong step and make things worse. Get help ASAP.

Oh, the world will say that you are wrong and she is right--so be ready for that too.

Answer 2

I've been through the same thing, except I am the one with the addiction. First, I am willing to bet that your husband feels that he is addicted to porn as well and that it is unhealthy for him and your marriage. Second, it probably isn't because you aren't pretty or sexy enough. Porn affects men differently than a healthy sexual relationship. It is more of a drug induced high than a feeling of fulfillment or contentment. Third, although it doesn't replace a healthy sexual relationship, it can be brought about by an unhealthy one. Even the most well meaning man can only go around with aching balls and hear 'not tonight I have a headache' for so long. Once or twice a month is not enough. So this is what I would recommend. Confront him about it, but don't accuse him. Say that you think his behaviour is hurting your marriage and that you want to help. Next, tell him that you need marriage counselling and he needs to seek help with his addiction. Third, tell him that you need to spend time together. This is where it can get hard for you too. Regular date nights, nights out of town, conversations and activities, and a regular sex life are key to a strong relationship--no matter what other demands or noise are in your lives. Finally, you have to decide that you are going to love him unconditionally in spite of failures and struggles. If you don't, you might as well give up now. This will take a lot of time.

Answer 3

It was free will that caused you to marry in the first place, perhaps against God's will. Why does everyone assume that just because marriages are held in Christian Churches that it is automatically God's will that those two people be married? I believe that God would rather we not marry until both parties have searched deep into their souls to be absolutely sure that the person they are marrying will support their spiritual growth for the rest of their lives.

It is my belief that 80% of people getting married don't do this, so if the divorce rate is 50%, then their remains 30% who stay married even though they are not compatible in God's eyes.

I believe that God wants each of us to grow spiritually and do His work on this earth. If staying married to a person prevents you from doing that, then it is God's will that you move on.

OBTW, I went to counselors and read the books. I even went to a Catholic priest to ask what I should do fully expecting to be told that I must stay married. His answer was to dissolve the marriage and to do so as kindly and respectfully as possible. This priest was picked at random and had no prior knowledge of my situation. You tell me what God's will is.

Answer 4

God works in mysterious ways, there is no doubt about that. But as most people will say, God doesn't want divorce. He would much rather the two of you work out your issues. After all, the main reason a marriage like this falls apart is because God is no longer the main point of focus. Your goals become a horizontal stretch and not a vertical stretch.

However, free will does allow you to get a divorce. Are you going to burn for that decision? Of course not...

Answer 5

In my studies I have found only 2 things that God Hates according to the Bible.

1. Divorce
2.Evildoing

Your wife needs to understand that God's will would not contradict God's Word. If I were you I would try to win her back however.

What first lead you to each other. What were your first romantic places or songs. How can you recapture some of that magic.

Are you attentive to her needs? Or could she be depressed, check with the family doctor.

Is she involved in a cult group? If she has a mental health issue or is involved in a Christian-like cult you may have difficulty reasoning with her. But you can still romance her while getting help for the other problems.

God bless you I will pray that she be delivered from this deception.

Answer 6

With out exploring more options, such as counseling, I don't see how you can know God's will. I really don't think God ever wants anyone to get divorced. However, there are times where our lives and the lives of people around us turn out better that way. I think you need more prayer and to look into counseling before you can make such a heavy decision. My mother and step father stayed together even though a counselor told them it would never work. They ended up having a miserable couple of years together before my mother passed away from something completely unrelated to this. I think for her, it would have been better to divorce. However, she believed that God would help her through it. Like I said, you need more prayer before you can decide this.

Answer 7

God didn't decide you two should marry, you made that decision. (the free will thing, remember?) So why the hell shouldn't you get divorced or do you just want to make your spouse miserable for the rest of your lives? There is something deeper here than your religious preference but, that's all you can focus on so no solution will come if that's the only thing you're looking at.

Answer 8

If she doesnt want ot read christian books or see a Pastor than she KNOWS it is God will she stay married, so she has already contridicted herself.

divorce is not Gods will, however, we as creatures with free will CAN make the choice to go against that, if we are willing to accept the consequences.

Answer 9

The bible says a good husband/wife comes from God. Now, take it from here.Why is your wife asking for a divorce? Are you good enough to be her husband? There must be some stronger reasons why she wants a stronger actions against you. Be honest with yourself and you will find out why. It is just between you and your wife.

Answer 10

Sometimes the answer that we least like is the right answer. im sorry your wife feels that way. If you guys find a reason to stay together, a few years down the road, youll see the joy that comes from it. I hope that you can get through th situation that you are in. a word of advice, try and work through your problems and come to God with them. that is the only way to work through a problem is to take it to god and use wisdom through the Holy spirit.