How can I get over a man?

Question

I have been with this guy for 7 years. We are about to have aour second child. I believe that he doesn't treat me well, and I deserve better. He has cheated on me in the past, and I think he is up to his lil. ol scans again. I really don't want to live like this for the rest of my life. All the time I try to leave him something pulls me back, again and again. I know I really love him, but you think it might be that I am just used to being with him all these years.? Please give me some advise, I know at least half of the women on here have been in a similar situation.

Answer 1

yes.. if u have time, read some of my other answers :).

but what i'd like to sum up for u is that the problem here isn't that u don't love him enough. it's that he doesn't appreciate your commitment and your love. you are offering your whole world to him, and he is actually willing to abuse you? treat you badly? make u feel horrible about urself? that is not right. this is not a HEALTHY relationship. and i'm not saying he doesn't love you. i'm saying he's not willing or able to do what U need in order to be in a healthy relationship, and that's just not good enough for you. that's why ur feeling u deserve better. it's not a fake feeling.. it's a real response to what's happening, what ur giving to him, and what he's not giving to you.

u need to have expecations for urself, and for ur partner, as well as the relationship. do u want someone who takes care of u? makes u a better person? encourages u, supports u, as well as loves you? someone u can trust? then this guy does not fit the mold, even if u do love him. let him go, so he can find someone who will help him become better. same for u, let him go and find someone who will make u better. make ur children better. it is worth it because u are worth it. do not ever let someone tell u otherwise. u are smart, strong, wonderful, committed, loving and Worth something.. find someone who MAKES u feel that way, because u do it for him each day. don't take any less than that~

Answer 2

Girl yes, I am in the same exact same situation. 7 years and expecting our second child in November. Something keeps pulling me back as well. I have decided to leave him and he has been gone from our home for only 3 weeks now. I am so miserable I think because I am pregnant now but everytime I get sick I think of how I can make it without him. I cried so much when he was here and still crying now so I really don't see much of a difference only that I am making steps to get him off my mind. I have thought about the kids but I know this would be better for them not seeing us fight and me cry all the time. I have been hanging out more with my friends, trying to keep him off my mind. I am just looking forward to the new baby and how I can keep myself healthy for her(it's a Girl). when U think about it he will lose in the end because kids don't forget and they will know mommy tried everything to keep our family together. Good Luck girl, just try to move on. Ur kids won't be the first to live without their father.

Answer 3

I have been in the exact situation, leave him... what is pulling you back is the fact you are scared that you are going to end up alone...but if he is a cheater, he will always be one....my advice is for you to take it a day at a time...i promise the longer you are without him the less you will be pulled back....listen to your heart...you may think it leads you to him but its your brain that is talking...its your heart that says leave him...you deserve better and i know you will find better, because i did...my husband was my best friend before we got together and we have been friends for along time before we even knew that we both liked each other, and i was getting outta a terrible relationship like what you have before we hooked up...goodluck..if you need to talk more look at my other forums ill be around

Answer 4

The first thing you have to think about is what's best for your kids. You can't truly get over someone that you have been with for 7 years. It takes time. The best thing to do if you still want to be with him is to go to counseling. If not then you two need to discuss the possiblity of taking a break from each other to decide if you want to stay together.

Answer 5

Please get out of the relationship now. Once a cheater always a cheater. I know your pregnant and it's going to be hard but there is someone else out there for you. You got to find it within yourself and do this for your children. Go to family or friends for moral support. You can do this!! There is so much more to life then settling. You deserve better! After you leave him keep busy and do the things you enjoy. Good Luck and I know it's hard but it's for the better.

Answer 6

I think u should leave him and just walk away no matter that u really love him but u can hurt 1 not rest of u life .think before u do something

Answer 7

There is no getting over someone you've been with for so long. But get the guts to leave him and time will take care of the rest.

Answer 8

Well don't keep getting pulled in its a trick because he knows your just going to keep coming back. Surprised him this time don't. Go out with your friends and party meet new people and you will meet someone new who will treat you right.

Answer 9

Familiarity pulls you back. That along with the fact that with him you know what you have or don't have. You can do better so don't be afraid to step out on your own. You can always go back if that's where fate leads you

Answer 10

Your waiting to hear the right excuse...but it ultimately needs to be your reasons and you to walk away instead of creating more ties to him than you already have, another child...You have to want out bad enough to accept the struggle it will initially be...but look forward to some happiness in the near future...if its wrong...make it right...