On a busy morning like today I'm trying to make lunches and other things and get me and my family out the door, my 8 yr old daughter asks me for a long hug. That's fine, but then 10 minutes later she wants another one. And then another 10 minutes later another one. etc. etc. I don't deny her, because then what kind of mother would I be? But I wonder why she does it. Am I not giving her enough attention? Or is it a "control" issue? She always picks the most busy crazy times to do this. What should I do?
2006-08-09 08:09:31 · 29 answers · asked by donna03079 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
awwww...she just loves you sooo much. and she just wants to get in as many hugs as possible because she wont see you all day.
we all could use a good hug
2006-08-09 08:13:54 · answer #1 · answered by dtstuff9 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you've hit the nail on the head; it might be a control or attention thing, or a response to the morning stress, and it's worth chatting with her about it.
Pick a calm, peaceful time when you can cuddle on the couch together. Tell her how much you love her and love hugging her. Ask her, "What is the best time for hugging?" Talk about good hug times, and laugh a little.
Point out that sometimes, everything is busy and hectic, and there's not as much time for hugging. Ask how she feels during those times, and really listen. Then, ask HER for solutions: What if we really want to hug, but we also really have to get ready for school?
She will probably have lots of ideas -- some silly and some serious -- and you can make some suggestions as well. (Maybe you can give each other air hugs. Or give each other an "all-morning hug" at the beginning of the morning rush. Or tell each other that you are "saving up" a hug for later.) Just talking about and acknowledging her (and your) feelings may make a big difference.
2006-08-10 05:56:09 · answer #2 · answered by llemma 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be several things. Maybe she's trying to get as much attention from you as she can because she won't see you all day, or maybe she wants you to calm down and not rush around so much. If you want her to save the hugs for when you're not so busy, just say "I need to pack your lunches right now, I'll give you a hug as soon as I'm done." She's 8, so she should understand that.
2006-08-09 08:22:54 · answer #3 · answered by q&a_08 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How sweet..She probably things that your mad or stress out and by asking for a hug will make you feel better. Kids are smarter then what we think. Do you think your not giving her enough time? Can easily be done when one has 50 things to do in a day. I have two kids now, my older child has been the only child for 10yrs, so he got all my attention 100%. Now, he has to share me with his new brother who is 3mths old. It's a little hard but I try my best too still do things with my older son. Just both of us. I don't want him to feel left out now that he has a little brother. You should just enjoy it because they get to an age were they don't want parents to be hugging them or kissing them.
2006-08-09 08:18:52 · answer #4 · answered by Strawberry 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like it could be a control issue. Denying her a hug wouldn't make you a bad mother. It's simply "Honey, mommy is making lunches right now, I'll give you a hug in a little while." She needs to learn that you were not put on this earth to hug her. You are her mom and as long as she knows you love her, denying her a hug is not going to kill her or make her love you any less.
2006-08-09 08:15:02 · answer #5 · answered by BeeFree 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not a control issue, it an insecurity issue. Tell her that if you could, you would stay at home all day just giving her hugs. However, you have things that need to be done. So, when she feels the need for a hug, maybe you could give each other a secret sign that could mean "I love you". I did this for a student who was very clingy and needy and it worked like magic. Good luck.
2006-08-09 10:55:54 · answer #6 · answered by Padme 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she's just feeling a little scared or worried about something and needs some extra attention. Is she just starting back to school. The start of a new year can be overwhelming for some children. Go ahead and give her extra attention, she will adjust to going back to school before too long.
2006-08-09 09:36:16 · answer #7 · answered by Aumatra 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kiss her on her cheek and tell her some beautiful thing like: She is a part of you and she belongs to you. Every relationship in the world is an assumption but the realtionship between you and your daughter( mom and child) is the purest one with no "strings" attahed. Hug her and hold her for some time and tell her that your kids are your world. She would understand.
2006-08-09 08:17:40 · answer #8 · answered by miss_magic047 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She just loves you. I think it is her way of trying to relax you and calm your nerves from such a busy day. You could always tell her that once you get everything done you will hug her until it is time for school. It is good that she wants to hug you. It really does mean that she loves you.
2006-08-09 08:18:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you seem really stressed or upset when you're crazy busy? Maybe she needs reassurance that you're not mad or angry.
Or perhaps if she's a problem solver type, she's trying to calm you down?
I think you need to figure out where she's coming from before you try to solve it. God knows you don't want her saying some day "mommy never hugged me!" ha ha!
2006-08-09 08:21:15 · answer #10 · answered by lazydazy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe shes trying to swipe your walet lol.Or maybe she isnt getting enough attention. Or she just really loves you. And doesnt want to leave so soon.How about while your making breakfast and stuff let her help you. That might bring her down a hug lol.
2006-08-09 12:31:44 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋