how do i cope with my 15 year old son wanting to go live with his father?

Question

he has lived with me the entire 15 years

Answer 1

talk to him find out why he wants to go. then do what's best for him even if he doesn't see it that way. sometimes you have to do whats best for the people you love even if they hate you for a little while.

Answer 2

There comes a time in all our lives when we realize that we can no longer protect our child. It is terrifing.

There comes a time in all our lives when we realize that we can no longer be everything to our child. It is a moment of great loss.

But it comes to each and every one of us. Its part of having children.

It has come to you now, but also realize it will come to your son's father too.

It is a lie that a woman can guide teenage boys, any more than a man can really guide teenage girls. A boy who wants to be a man needs a man to show him the way.

It is not personal. It does not mean that you are a failure. It does not have to distroy your relationship - if you don't let the issues between you and his father get in the way.

And remember 5 years or so from now he will be wanting to live on his own - no matter who he stays with today.

Hope this helps

Answer 3

You can't help the fact that a child would naturally want to be able to spend equal time with both parents (that is what makes a divorce or seperation so difficult for them). Since he has lived half of his life with you, it is natural that he wants to spend that other half with his father. Denying him that right isn't fair and there isn't much you can do. What you can do is show him that you love him and that you support him whatever decision he makes with his life and that if things don't work out, he can always come back to you. That will bring him closer to you, but you will just have to accept that this is what he wants, even if it doesn't include you in the picture. I'm sure that no matter who your son decides to stay with for the rest of his life, he still loves you very much.

Answer 4

Ohh, the pain. I feel your grief. I have 3 boys.
You are not home alone. IF so, then start planning some activities to fill the time.
You will need to take care of yourself. Treat yourself special. Do some things you wanted to do, but did not allow yourself to do.
Your son is a strong young man. You must trust that you have raised him to be competent, right.
Now, just take this as an opportunity for you. He will learn a lot, and you will Always be there when he needs you.
And he will need you Mom!
So let him go. Call him. Send him emails. Drop him a small token in the mail.
You can do it! He will appreciate your faith in his abilities to be independent.
Good Luck!

Answer 5

If his dad is a nice guy and won't hurt him, then let the son go and realize that he needs some time to bond with a male figure -- it will help give him direction and perspective later when he becomes a father of his own children. how else is he going to know how a dad ought to act with his kids. His own father is is role model, unless he has been arond granddads, or uncles during this time.
Think of him. He will be closer to you later for letting him have this experience , and if he is denied it, you risk a lot of loss in many ways.

Answer 6

If his father will have him... let him go!!! A young man needs the influence of a male figure in his life too. This, of course, is providing his father is of good character. You wouldn't want to send him to live with a man who uses poor judgment when parenting, or has bad habits such as an addiction/alcoholism. If you have such concerns, then maybe you and your son could benefit from some counseling together.
Trying to keep him tied to you would be a mistake, and he may resent you for it for life!
Good luck to you!!!

Answer 7

Did he get mad at you and decided that he wanted to move or did he just want to go live with his father. If he's just mad at you no, because then when he's mad at his dad he'll just want to come back. But if he wants to truly live with his father, let him. Only men can truly raise men. I'm sure you have done a wonderful job but he probably needs more than what you can give him. Just really think about what is the best decision for him.

Answer 8

For both of your sakes I think it would be better if you let him go for 6 months as a trial. This way you can make sure his grades stay up and he doesnt start acting wierd from hanging around new people. It will also make him feel better knowing just in case he decides he doesnt want to stay with his dad that he has to come back to your house and wont feel like he is making his dad feel bad. Or too let his stay at his dads as a trial but he has to come back to your house for a weekend every month if it is a little ways away but if he is close then every weekend. or every other weekend. I know how you feel . I have two boys and when they were younger they tried this but it only lasted about 2 weeks. When they got back home they told me " now we know why you left my dad to beging with" I guess before they thought I just left him for no reason. good luck.

Answer 9

look at it from his POV... he has had a broken home his entire life and maybe he is unhappy with the living situation right now. maybe you should let him do what he wants and understand that he has had a rough life not having the leave it to beaver family! you should do something to take ur mind off of it. maybe this time apart will do u both some good. you could get remarried and have another kid, start a different career path! lots of fun things!

Answer 10

even though he has lived with you for that long let him live with his dad father and son should always be close but the boy will never forget his mother.take a break for awhile let the father do his part only if its right

Answer 11

As his parent, you need to honestly assess what is best for your son, regardless of your own desires.

If it would be better for him, you need to be strong and let him go.

If not, you need to respect his wishes, but explain why the situation with his father is not in his best interests.