Is there something wrong with me?

Question

My Grandmother died a while ago and it broke my mother's heart (My grandmother, her mother). And it was in a very sudden and unexpected way.(I was really dissapointed at the fact that I couldn't go to the funeral).
But even though i was sad on my grandmother dying, i couldn't cry about it. I mean i loved my grandmother and she was a really cool lady. But i just couldn't cry about the fact that she had died. Is there something wrong with me? Am I heartless or something?

Answer 1

there is nothing wrong with you, maybe you were/are in shock. and you know that maybe if you cried it will break your moms heart even more. maybe you want to be brave for your mom and show her that everything is going to be ok... im sorry about your grandmother.

Answer 2

People grieve in different ways. Some people can lose someone very close to them (parent, spouse, child), and be emotionally broken and depressed, but not cry. Sometimes they just break down and cry for the first time months after the death. You have said that you feel sad over her death, so that proves you are not heartless. There is nothing wrong with you. I'm sorry about your grandmother.

Answer 3

Of course there's nothing wrong with you. Everyone deals with grief differently. How much you miss your grandmother may not catch up with you until years from now. You are not heartless. Missing the funeral probably deprived you of the chance to bring your feelings to the surface and have a good cry, that's all.

I didn't cry about either of my grandmother's deaths until years later and I went to both their funerals.

Answer 4

There is nothing wrong with you at all. I had a similar response to my grandfather dying. It was terribly sad but I never shed a tear.

In fact, your not crying may have more to do with your not attending the funeral and thus not sharing your sadness with people who were feeling similar. Crying is often an interactive experience, where through sharing your feelings and commiserating with others you get over-whelmed with emotion (both yours and theirs) and you are moved to tears.

So, if you feel you need to 'cry it out' try talking to someone who will be sympathetic, or try watching a movie or listening to music that is about losing a loved one. You're much more likely to cry if you share the experience or if you can relate to someone else's expression of sadness.

Answer 5

No it takes time, and people grieve in different ways. Of course your Mom took it hardest, it was her mother. But perhaps you were'nt as close to her. Let me tell you a story.... my mom had a best friend since high school, and we knew their whole family. We were close but not super close. Well her best friend died suddenly and tragically. I was sad yes, but wasn't grieving. Fast forward about 3 or 4 months, when her son came in to where I work. I said hi and had an entire conversation with him, and when I went in the breakroom I broke down crying so hard becuase THAT is when it finally hit me that his mom is gone and not coming back. So trust me, time. And it may never happen for you. This doesn't mean you have no heart.

Answer 6

~I would just like to tell you that the same thing happened to me about my Aunt, she was killed, and seeing my mother cry broke my heart but I couldn't cry either. I felt so bad and felt jerky, but I realize that crying doesn't do anything. It's okay if you don't cry, that means that you accepted that she moved to a better place, which is a good thing. I know you feel bad not crying, but crying doesn't do anything but make you and your mother feel bad. If you just comfort your family and keep your memories with her close to you, than you have done enough to show you loved her and that your not heartless:)

Answer 7

No. You would be heartless if your grandmother died and you weren't upset and didn't care. People mourn different ways. I cried like a baby when my great aunt died, but when my grandmother died, I didn't cry. It's not that I wasn't as upset about her death, I just didn't cry.

Answer 8

no my dear you are not,crying is a matter of the heart,what doesn't work for some doesn't work for others,crying for the death of someone does not show how much you wish for the person to stay after all the bad ones responsible for the death of people cry the most,but you not crying does not mean you are heartless it could only be that you are in shock and still in the state of finding it hard to believe that a dear one has just died.its just you being brave and strong at heart.

Answer 9

u r not heartless is just u don't feel like crying. It happened to me when my grandmother died too, I didn't cry but I felt sad I think that you don't have to cry to show people that you are sad that u don't show it doesn't mean u don't feel it.

Answer 10

No. There is nothing wrong with you. You haven't found your tears yet, that's alright. It may of helped if you had been able to go to the funeral. The whole closure thing. When my grandfather was dying of cancer, I never got upset and didn't think I would be all that upset when he passed. And I wasn't until I got to his funeral, then I cried uncontrollably. Don't worry too much.

Answer 11

my grandmother died recently too, and it was very sudden and unexpected. like you my sister didnt cry. everyone elsle was really sad, and it seemed as if she didnt care. your not heartless, and its also really cool that it was you who didnt cry because every family needs someone who wont cry and will be the strong person and keep the family together