and I have a 14 year old. the 23 year old brings his 19 year old gf here and has sex with her in his room.I feel this is inappropirate as then when my son is older he will want to bring girls home. My fiancee feels it is ok, what you do think?
2006-08-09 07:06:00 · 10 answers · asked by ? 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Find a new fiance with morals and values. Don't settle, honey. He isn't worth it.
Good luck!
2006-08-09 07:09:42 · answer #1 · answered by Raspberry 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The CORRECT answer is, it's not OK unless you BOTH agree to it, not just because HE says it's ok. If you are planning to marry this guy, is this how your marriage will be...where his opinion overrules yours?
You need to have a talk with your fiance' and tell him that at 23 years old, Junior needs to find his own apartment, and then he can go at it all he wants...but it's not appropriate for them to be doing it under the nose of a very impressionable 14 year old.
If your fiance' balks at the idea or gets mad, then maybe you should consider finding someone who has a better idea of what is morally acceptable.
Good Luck.
2006-08-09 07:44:42 · answer #2 · answered by answerman63 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think, since it is your home too, that if you are uncomfortable with it, then it should no be happening. I think you need to sit down with your fiancee and thell them that it is very uncomfortable for you and you do not like the message that it is sending toy our son.
If he cares about you, he will listen and understand. It should be more imprtant to him what you feel, rather than how his son will be upset about it.
Does the son pay room and board? If he does, then there may be an argument there that he is paying for the room, and that he should be able to do what he wants. If not, then I would think that since he is living for free, that he should be willing to do what you and your finacee want while he is in the house and under your roof.
This could become a big problem and be indicitive of the future when it comes to situations between you and your finacee on how to deal with issues that come up. If he cannot or will not compromise with you on this, something I feel is a simple matter, then he may not be able to on bigger matters. Something to think about.
Peace and luck
2006-08-09 07:15:36 · answer #3 · answered by Raistliin 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have to communicate with your fiance and work out some house rules. I can understand that he's not too concerned about the 23 yo but you need to get across to him your concern about the fact that it might have an effect on your 14 yo. Maybe he just doesn't understand where you're coming from.
Failing that, maybe you need to talk to your 14 yo and let him know that you're his mother and he has to follow your rules regardless of the rules applied to the 23 yo. Set down your own house rules for him.
2006-08-09 07:16:46 · answer #4 · answered by mel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How do you expect your fiance's son to behave in the home if you two are not married and living together. You can't expect him to live right if you are not setting any kind of example. Get married, then speak out about this issue, otherwise you just have to live with it seeing as you aren't married anyways.
The son has no respect because he sees how his father is living and his father has giving the ok for him to do like wise. So do the right thing here all around for the benefit of your son not to follow in your bad example and get married!
2006-08-09 08:06:38 · answer #5 · answered by December Princess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, let me just tell you. I am 34 and my fiance is 29. When we go to his parents house we do not sleep in the same bed out of respect for them due to their religious beliefs. Now, if we were married we would sleep in the same bed but would never have sex in his parents home nor would we ever have sex in my parents home and I had a very close relationship with my mom. I just feel somethings you don't do out of common respect.
2006-08-09 07:13:02 · answer #6 · answered by foolograce72 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if your fiance won't meet you half way now what about after the wedding. I would never let that go on in my house with minors living there. Bad bad bad morals!!!!!
Put an end to it now before your son brings a girl home pregnant.
2006-08-09 07:12:12 · answer #7 · answered by Bay Girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he should respect your thoughts. he really should ask his son not to do that. it is not setting a good example for your son. and how come his 23 year old son doesn't have his own place. i think he needs to be kicked out and start taking care of himself. good luck
2006-08-09 07:15:31 · answer #8 · answered by Syri S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't really matter what anyone else thinks. Your fiance doesn't have a problem with it and it is his child. If you feel that it is inappropriate for your children you need to make a change.
2006-08-09 07:09:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your home your RULES.
2006-08-09 07:10:53 · answer #10 · answered by whataboutme 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋