The more I think about him with someone else, the more sick it makes me. I don't know if I can ever get over it. I don't know if I can ever get over feeling rejected. Why does he stay? Why does he say he loves me, but continue to hurt me? I am trying to forgive, and trying to forget, but I don't like the person it's turning me into. Sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy. He says we are meant to be together and talks about marriage. How can I believe it? Can I? Or will he always be looking for something else to gain his attention for a while, knowing that I will always be there waiting. And will forgive?
2006-08-09 07:04:27 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
he is just using you. on one hand, he has someone reliable to come home to. on the other, someone to play with.
if you do not mind all the drama that will come with this relationship, go for it.
but i think you should find someone else!
2006-08-09 07:21:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh honey I am going through something sorta the same, only I have a kid mixed in this and one on the way.In between my baby I have and the baby on the way he was seeing someone else, lying saying it was nothing and I just keep taking him back. from experience I think U should move on because as long as u keep taking him back he will keep breaking ur heart. I swear I am having the hardest time trying not to worry about the things he puts me through and make sure my daughter is fine with this, I am making it bad for her as well. If there r no kids move on. U deserve better, and if there are kids move on, I am trying to do the same thing and keep a grown up relationship for the kids. I deserve better and so do u, take ur life back and find someone that will treat U like a queen. Good Luck!
2006-08-09 08:06:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The reason why he does this is because he knows in spite of his indiscretions, YOU'LL ALWAYS BE THERE!
Men have this same problem too (although they'll never tell another woman-with good reason). LOVE can be a blind fold or a mask to hide weaknesses and/or insecurities we have.
Most people, if not all, have the desire to Love or be Loved for many reasons. The one thing I point out that if Love is to be in your life, it has to start with you. What does that mean (in my opinion)? It means you have to be responsible for all the basic things that a person requires for themselves. Money. Career. Stability in ones life. True Love comes with the notion that you have to maintain what's good for you (within reason) and what makes YOU happy. That should never be someone else responsibility and it seems he's not being responsible in telling you that he's not mature to have one.
He doesn't Love you. He only responds to people when he acts selfish and when people are taking care of his needs (which oddly enough, he leaves to you. Sick huh?).
The guy is not acting responsibly and likes to surround himself with people he THINKS he can control.
Do you want to be controlled? If it's a yes, then your in the right place.
If I were you, I'd get outta there like Pam Grier did in that prison flick BLACK MAMMA, WHITE MAMMA.
Leave him. Ground yourself. Find someone that is mature so both can share Love with each other.
You deserve it.
2006-08-09 07:32:29 · answer #3 · answered by monkeymustard 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that is only something that you can actually answer. Some people can forgive and forget, but it is not so easy for others.. Deep down you will always have these thoughts. It takes a long time to recover from something like this, you either have to move on or stick it out........ It will be a bumpy ride.
2006-08-09 07:11:15 · answer #4 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can get trust back.. if u work at it. since he lost your trust, HE needs to work at it, not you. u need to give him the chance to work on it, but if he doesn't do it, it's not your fault. don't feel rejected when u've given ur all, ur love, ur commitment to him! you need to know that you are a GREAT person.. u want to forgive him, even thru all the heartache he's caused u! that is so Awesome! be proud of urself.... be proud of the kind of person u are, and what standards u have for urself.
now the next step is, if u are such a great person..WHY is he treating u so badly? is it cuz ur not good enough? is it cuz ur not doing enough for him?? NO. it's cuz He doesn't Appreciate YOU. cuz HE doesn't treat you right. cuz HE is not taking care of Your needs. a relationship is two way... if he's not putting in his work, of course u feel like u can't trust him.
what u need to do is figure out what u expect from urself, from ur partner, and from the relationship. talk to him, and ask him what he wants from himself, as a boyfriend, from you, and from the relationship. if have similar goals, and figure out a way to compromise and WORK on things to make them secure and trusting and strong, then do it. but if u feel that u cannot trust him, that his actions are negative, that he doesn't validate ur feelings, then HE's not good enough for YOU. remember, u are giving him a chance! that is really great of you! if he doesn't appreciate it, so be it.. it's not a rejection of ur love because it's not good enough, but because he doesn't know how to treat you right. and that is not the kind of guy u need, who can take care of you and make you happy. keep up ur expecations in a man, and don't settle until u find it. if u know u are a wonderful woman, why would u settle for any less than a wonderful man? forgive him, and then let him go.. because he needs to find someone who he wants to change for.. u cannot force him, but give him a chance to change with you and grow ur trust back. if not, let him go...
2006-08-09 07:15:03 · answer #5 · answered by sasmallworld 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's a tough situation to be in, trust me i've been there before. i found my guy at his old girlfriend's place, and he appeared to be there for the night, i confronted him and got it all out in the open, but even after i saw it with my own eyes, and i heard her out, i still loved him. i still figured i would give it another chance. right now we're geographically apart and we keep in touch, but i don't think the trust is all there... obviously! i love him still and he talks about getting back together and still loving me and wanting to spend his life with me, but sometimes i think it's all BULL! if he can do it once, what's to stop him from doing it again? knowing that you're going to be waiting for him no matter what will only allow him to continue to hurt you because he looks at you like a security blanket. be strong, get back out there and find yourself. when you're not looking you will find that person that treats you the way you deserve to be treated... some men are just not worth the wait!
2006-08-09 07:13:31 · answer #6 · answered by asian chick 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh SISTER!!!! I here ya! Its been three yrs and it is driving me crazy, eats at me like a cancer everyday. forgive maybe. but forget, man I dont think I'll ever be able to forget!!! everything reminds me of it, I was hurt so badly, nope dont believe I will ever forget!!!!and it has definietly changed me, even I can see it, and i dont like it, its made me into someone that no longer believes in dreams or that love lasts forever....love sucks, love hurts, you might want to think about getting out now, before you turn into ME!
2006-08-09 07:13:25 · answer #7 · answered by cee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I could never get over a betrayal like that. There's no way he could ever earn my trust again. I'd forever be suspicious of him, and hate the person that would turn me into.
I would always wonder exactly what they did, if he compared me to her, and how I measured up...
How can you stay with a man who could do this to you? Don't tell me it's because you love him. Love yourself enough to lose the man who doesn't love you enough to be faithful.
2006-08-09 07:18:38 · answer #8 · answered by loshea65 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know you can't forgive it. When a relationship comes to the point where there is an open wound underneath the surface, it is doomed from that point. Let him go. Find a real man. One that won't hurt you. They are out there.
2006-08-09 07:09:17 · answer #9 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be true to yourself first. if your feeling you can't trust him then you know he will do this again. forgive yes forget nerver... once the trust is gone you will always wonder when he walks out the door if hes going to see some other woman.. life is to short is that how you want to live.. goog luck anyway... it turns you into a bitter person...
2006-08-09 07:14:54 · answer #10 · answered by ruby mason 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Truth is you can only forgive. And forgiveness comes with understanding. Unfortunately your mind will never let you forget.
2006-08-09 07:11:31 · answer #11 · answered by Just Wondering 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋