What really qualifies a man being a 'man'? And I mean past his anatomy.?

Question

I recently ran into a guy, who I found out has had a crush on me for yrs. now don't get me wrong, he's cute and all that, but I'm to a point where I need more than just good looks to keep me happy. A brain and a spine would be great. As well as a sense of maturity. But in his case there was one singular catch: he happens to be 4 yrs younger than me. And while to some degree I expect him to act his age, I realize that because of his age, there are somethings he is going to do. But lets face it, he should have matured further than the rut he seems to have let himself get into. For example, the person he really is and the person he allows other people to see are two very different people. But only one of them is real. Anyone who can come up with a really good answer for this would get mad kudos from me, a little help please??

Answer 1

The definition of being a man is incredibly broad. I have spent years trying to teach it to my boys.
Here it is in a nut shell.
Respect for women. This tops this list because half of his entire world is woman. Half of what he will ever do will be because or will effect women.
Accepting responsibility. Accountability of a strong reflection of who you are.
Admitting when you are wrong and being able to listen without bias to the other side of a story.
Admitting you do not know everything and asking those that do know for the right answers.
Priority: Getting your life in order with the proper prospective.
God Family Job in that order.
Respecting your mother. Many women will Gage how you are to women by how you treat your mother.
Integrity: Do what you say. Say what you mean.
Your ability to fight or argue means nothing.
Your ability to make people feel safe when they are around you means everything.
Honesty: with your self first than being honest with others comes easy.

Answer 2

A man is not two different people in two different situations. A man knows who he is, is very comfortable with it, and doesn't care what other people think. A man takes responsibility for all of his actions without making excuses. A man is loyal.

If this guy hasn't gotten past the point where he needs to act one way to impress his friends, and another way around you and/or others, then let it be for now and see which man he chooses to become.

You don't say your ages, so four years could be a lot or nothing. If he's under 30, there's a good chance that he will continue to mature and become the good person that you see and let the other personality fade away. If he's over 30, he's probably become what he will be for the rest of his life. By age 30 (and this is a ballpark number, of course), four years should not constitute a noticeable difference in maturity.

Answer 3

You answered your own question when you said " A brain and a spine would be great. As well as a sense of maturity." If he is mature the age thing is moot, that is unless he's still in his early to mid twenties. At 18 I thought I knew everything. At 24 I was convinced I knew everything but by the time I hit 30 I knew I didn't know jack.

Answer 4

Everyone has their persona that they show the world, and who they really are, which they show to those they trust.
He may be yourger and need to mature more, or he may be mature enough for you to deal with.
If he shows he has empathy, and does not act ouf of spite, then he is worh considering. If he takes responsibility for his choices, and does not excuse them by assessing blame on others, then he may be worth considering
The more secure he is in himself, the more of his real personality he will show the world. People hide what they are ashamed of....
Is he overly concerned with the approval of others? does he base his decisions on that? Does he act out of character to try to make people think things about him? This is something you may want to avoid....
Only you can make this decision. take it slow and spend time with him in different settings and look for the consistencies between what he says and what he does.
Never make excuses for RED FLAGS, or try to change him. It sounds like you have already spotted a couple of those...
Pay more attention to his agenda than the agenda you want. What you want to happen, or what you want him to be, can act like a filter that distorts reality.
I wouldn't reccommend getting too emotionally invested in him until you can confidently know what his feelings for you are, and what his intentions are. if you don't just know this (like you know what your name is) without question, then he probably doesn't either.
Pay close attention, and good luck!

Answer 5

You really didn't specify age...if you are 20 & he's 16, move on. He needs honesty first off, walk the walk, no BS. Some guys just take longer to mature. If he is showing himself as one person, but is another, you need to find someone more mature.

Answer 6

He stands for what he believes in..Has the guts to empathize and show compassion, share emotion, tenderness. Takes care of his family. Doesn't worship money. Is not homophobic. Not racist. Loves life. Would be a great father. Tells the truth. This is a Man.

Answer 7

Males mature slower than females emotionally. I think when your young, you have a different character for every situation your in: with parents, at school, at a job, etc. As you get older, all the personalities blend into one. Hopefully.
Maturity to me means taking responsibility.

Answer 8

Well best answer l can give you is, a real man excepts his responsibility and treats everyone with respect and is a gentlemen when it comes to women and kids.He knows what he wants out of life, and is not afraid to go after it and gets back on his feet if he stumbles. most of all he knows how to communicate as well as listen.and by all means not afraid to say he's sorry for mistakes he's made.

Answer 9

Well, a simple answer to this would be....

To be a man, you would have to stand true to who you are. Be proud of what you have to offer someone and be honest. If he's a liar... He's no man! Liars hide behind there false statments and actions...

Simply put.....

Answer 10

Commitment and to see only you as the woman in his life. Any man not ready to commit is still playing games and messing around with other girls.