i have an ex-step daughter who ended up on my doorstep after her mother put her out because she is pregnant (shes just 13 years old) i took her in and she since gave birth to a girl. i took on responsibilty of everything. now her mom wants to come back in the picture its her mom so i have her deal with this i stepped back but now her "jessica" doesnt want to talk to her mother and now her moms blaming me. I since move and started all over with "jessica". With the help of her father i got her in school etc. but her mom is still harrassing me and i had enough what should i do.
2006-08-09 06:56:46 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
her dad doesnt live in the state but tries from where he is at. so please let me know what to do
2006-08-09 06:57:57 · update #1
This is where a lawyer comes in with a good custody agreement.
2006-08-09 07:01:21 · answer #1 · answered by Sir J 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell the Mom that it is Jessica's choice whether or not she wants to talk with her. Tell the mom that you are not influencing what Jessica does with the situation but are just there to help Jess. It is good that you were there for her. Her Mom has to be patient and wait for her daughter to come around.
2006-08-09 14:09:32 · answer #2 · answered by Maria b 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
While there may be legal avenues that you could go down, you should probably work on the personal issues underlying the problem first.
It wouldn't be good for the relationship between Jessica and her mum to be completely ruined and irretrievable, no matter what she's done to Jessica (apart from things like serious abuse). While you've obviously done a lot for Jessica and she should be thankful for that, her mum is still her mum and she should try to have a relationship with her (not necessarily move back in with her or be on really good terms with her but she should at least be able to speak to her and be civil). It's obviously going to be hard because Jessica is still so young and, despite having had a child, she is still a child herself and probably has a lot of maturing to do.
2006-08-09 14:11:14 · answer #3 · answered by mel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The girl needs to stop playing childish "I don't want to speak to you Mommy games" and make a decision as to whether she even wants her mother back in her life. If she does then she needs to establish guidelines where she can visit her mom outside your home or maybe even move back with her and keep you out of the middle. If she dosen't want a relationship with her mother, then you should seek legal advise to find out how to get full custody.
2006-08-09 14:13:44 · answer #4 · answered by ChicaLoca 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i was a teen mom as well i think that you and jessica and her mom should sit down and talk so that way her mom wont feel like its you. let jessica tell her mom how she really feels shes lucky to have someone like you who took her and her child in. i understand that her mom kick her out for what ever reason i hope her mom did not kick her out cause she was having a baby. cause through those nine months and beyond that was the time for her mom to step in a help her daughters mistake become a life long lesson. so i really think that you should have a talk if jessica wants to stay with you then you all should sit down and talk
2006-08-09 14:24:05 · answer #5 · answered by Amazing 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok well i am having simmilar probs with my sons grandmother (my ex mother in law) she wanted nothing to do with the pregnancy or her daughter (she also was a preg teen) my advice is if your step daughter doesnt want anything to do with her mother and doesnt want her in her or her childs life is to take out a restraining order that extends to the child. its sounds drastic but if she is harrassing and not respecting yours or your step daughters wishes then it might just be the best step to take. it might not stop her harrassing but at least then you can have the police step in when things get out of hand
2006-08-09 14:11:46 · answer #6 · answered by funluvenguy2003 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know anyone that takes on the responsibility of someone Else's daughter and a baby should be given custody its not fair to you because at 13 her "mother" was not being a mother she was only 13 years old so in most cases its the parenting skills that allowed her daughter to be placed in the situation that she is in. so go see a lawyer etc. and GOD BLESS YOU FOR DOING WHAT YOUR DOING
2006-08-09 14:12:04 · answer #7 · answered by larissacrazy2003 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you see a lawyer and force a harassment order on her. Then, with the same lawyer, go to family court and file for custody of "Jessica". You should be getting child support for caring for her.
2006-08-09 14:03:16 · answer #8 · answered by cyanne2ak 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mom needs to deal with it. She should never have kicked out her "baby" to begin with. Granted the child made a mistake, but nobody's perfect and a mother should be there to help her daughter with unconditional love and support.
2006-08-09 14:03:45 · answer #9 · answered by real_sweetheart_76 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bless you for taking in this child! get a Lawer and see what you can do. Maybe her father can step in and help. Her Mom may cause even more trouble. But I think you're great for doing what you did.
2006-08-09 14:20:23 · answer #10 · answered by whataboutme 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since she is 13 years old, I would look into talking to a lawyer. Maybe you could be foster/guardian with her dad's help. I'm not sure on the laws work because she is still a minor regardless if she has a kid of not.
2006-08-09 14:02:43 · answer #11 · answered by Rain040792 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋