please tell me your stand on watching porn and being ina relationship.do you love your mate if your doing it,or is it something that you cant control?please tell me,im on the verge of breaking up with my boyfriend again because of it.
2006-08-09 06:50:13 · 25 answers · asked by 0000000000000000000000 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well ... I used to believe that porn was 100% bad, all the time. I'm corresponding now with an ex-porn star, and it is interesting to hear her say how sadistic porn has become.
So, believe me, porn is still very very bad. Nowadays, there is so much sadism and outright abuse of women that is accepted. The phrase "a*ss destroyed" is very revealing. So, as I say ... I'm not a porn apologist, like some of your answers.
However, I can see some rare times when porn might bring to mind a certain position or idea that might contribute to the variety of the relationship. Its sad and a little alarming the crap you have to wade through to get to that one "position", though.
But if he is regularly watching porn, look at it for what it is: he is routinely being sexual without you. He is being sexual while looking at other women. He is being sexual (probably) while looking at other women do sexual things that you will not do.
Regardless of whether porn is good or bad, do you want a relationship where you so clearly do not satisfy your man? (If he were satisfied, he wouldn't want to be sexual with a TV set.) Or, do you want a relationship with a man who's sex drive is so vibrant with a video image and outside a 1-on-1, physical co*ck in a physical female oriface situation?
If you've already broken up once, and you have a deep incompatibility (again, regardless of whether porn is right or wrong) about the existence of porn in your life ... perhaps there are better guys out there for you?
.
2006-08-09 07:12:47 · answer #1 · answered by robabard 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋
You need to understand that men and women are very different when it comes to sex. Women need strong emotions to accompany arrousal but men do not. Most guys only need a little visual stimulation i.e. porn and that is it to achieve an orgasm. Pretty simple. This does not mean that he is not in love with you. If the female is not in the mood or not up for sex a guy should have to option to "please himself" if need be. On his own time I might add. So the big question is... is the porn is interferring with your time together or your sex life? If so, then he should stop what he is doing immediately if he is serious about the relationship. But if this is a once in a while thing when he is in the mood and you are not then I don't think that there is anything wrong with that b/c most guys (including myself) need this outlet every now and then. My girlfriend does not watch porn and does not like the fact that I watch it but it is something that I need b/c I have a strong sex drive and it helps the urge go away for a while so I can concentrate on her feelings more than my sexual desires, that's all.
2006-08-09 07:16:19 · answer #2 · answered by icemaan22 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Porn is OK, but sex is a participant activity. I've tried watching with my mate, but it didn't really add much for me or her. Really, when I'm into the act, the rest of the world just disappears.
While watching is not really my thing, everybody is different. If your b/f likes it and you don't, and it's causing so much concern that you are "on the verge of breaking up with [your] boyfriend again because of it," then you have already answered the root question.
Sounds like you need to move-on.
2006-08-09 07:02:11 · answer #3 · answered by i_cycle_hard 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't watch or even look at porn, and even if i was i would always love my mate. Being in love is a blessing that only a few people are able to feel. Men are dogs, they will do anything to get in the mood. Just go with your gut and do what you think is right.
Sean
2006-08-09 06:59:20 · answer #4 · answered by Maverick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm no longer a guy, yet I surely have a guy, so possibly that counts . . . He would not surely need any particular presents. He likes it if i purchase him a soda (we don't drink them plenty in our dwelling house), or well-liked candy. He likes it if I positioned gas interior the motor vehicle/get the oil replaced/song-up/tires circled/motor vehicle wash, and if I handle his areas so he would not could. different than that, he finds it very relieving if I prepare dinner, do laundry/iron shirts, take out trash, etc. If i will make his life greater handy in some way, coach that I care relating to the little issues he likes, and additionally do what i comprehend he likes at the back of closed doors, he's happy. wish this might supply innovations. good success! :-)
2016-11-04 05:21:05 · answer #5 · answered by hartzell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends. I don't see a reason for anyone to watch porn unless it is for the mutual enjoyment of both partners or for stimulation. I think he should seek help if he can't stop now that he's in a relationship especially if you two are sexually active. If you aren't sexually active, try to understand that looking at porn may be his sexual outlet so he doesn't pressure you into doing anything...
2006-08-09 06:58:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well here goes, me and my wife openly talk about porn and the nostalgia of it. If its just for excitement and interest, or maybe even research then it is not a problem for her. Its when you cross the line and start linking onto hook-up sites and chatting (cyber-sex) thats when she or any woman has a problem with it. I love her to death and she trusts in our relationship enough to know that i use it as a vehicle while she is not present, or to spur arousal when she is (doesnt happen that often). Do you have a problem with your man satisfying himself when your not present?? If so then issue may be you and not him. Just food for thought.
2006-08-09 07:00:15 · answer #7 · answered by t31sfd 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it isn't something that you both enjoy and enjoy together, then you should follow your heart. It shouldn't be a thing that he is doing alone, or feels that he has to do behind your back. Don't be insecure, but if you don't enjoy it and he does then there is obviusly a major conflict of interest. You have to be secure in your relationship and he has to have enough self-control to do it only when welcomed.
2006-08-09 07:00:38 · answer #8 · answered by K. C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it depends on YOUR stance. If watching porn is something you are willing to do with him, or let him do on his own, you can work around this hobby of his. However if you are offended and this is a deal breaker, then you need to let him know.
Personally I have no desire to watch porn, I love my girlfriend and we have enough "spark" for me to be satisfied!
2006-08-09 06:56:55 · answer #9 · answered by tannedknight45 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Porn has nothing to do with my feelings it's just release, With most of my girls porn was something we enjoyed together.
2006-08-09 06:57:06 · answer #10 · answered by brianlefttoe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋