Our wedding will be in the Philippines and we reside here at California. We prefer monetary gifts for we are travelling back here in the USA after and cannot take all gifts like household gifts. What line can I use to state that in our invitation? Thanks!
2006-08-09 06:37:00 · 20 answers · asked by kimmy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Monetary gifts are welcome!
2006-08-09 06:39:37 · answer #1 · answered by Queen D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, it's completely okay that you didn't know the etiquette about this. I'm sorry that people are being rude about it.
Unfortunately it really is bad etiquette to mention gifts on or in the invitation. The reason is almost silly - it's because that would make it seem like you are asking for gifts, and technically you should never ask your guests for gifts. The reason I say it's silly is because it would be extremely bad etiquette to show up at the wedding and never buy a gift for the couple!
What your best bet is, is to think about everyone you are inviting and how you are going to let them know. I think that your situation is almost an exception to the rule in that you just cannot bring back a bunch of gifts. I would call most of your friends, and family members and just let them know that unfortunately you will not be able to take large gifts home with you and you would like help spreading the word.
However if you are really concerned that putting it in your invitation is your only hope - I would say to include a separate piece of paper, tucked into the outermost envelope that says something like "Unfortunately we will not be able to accept any large or medium-sized gifts at the wedding, due to travel concerns. Thank you for your understanding."
And one other thing though - because there will be some people who don't feel comfortable giving money (personally I would much rather buy something) I would give out to relatives and close friends your home address so that they can have any presents shipped to you in California. Good luck!
2006-08-09 08:42:06 · answer #2 · answered by ykokorocks 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The wedding invitation itself should never mention gifts, best wishes only, or monetary gifts. The best way to spread the registry information is to make sure that the immediate families and the bridal party are aware of the registry information.
You may not ask for monetary contributions in lieu of gifts. If you and your fiance are already stocked up on most household items, consider registering for new items so you can throw out the old stuff, or items that will keep and can be used through the years--i.e. plush towels, wine glasses, place settings, perhaps a nice piece of art.
If you absolutely do not need anything whatsoever, then consider a honeymoon registry. These are becoming more popular as couples are living together prior to marriage. Travel agencies are jumping on the bandwagon and are offering an opportunity for guests to donate cash to your vacation.
2006-08-09 06:45:11 · answer #3 · answered by pooh bear 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO! You can't put that on the invitation! You can't mention ANYTHING about gifts on the invitation. Simply don't register anywhere and be sure to mention to your parents and bridal party that you would prefer monetary gifts, and let it spread by word of mouth. Most people would assume this is what you'd want anyway. But honestly, putting gift suggestions on the wedding invitation itself is rude and tacky.
2006-08-09 06:43:52 · answer #4 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am in the same predicament. My fiance and i have been together for 5 years and have been living together for 2. We don't really need anything b/c we already have everything most couples would want when starting a life together. However it is extremely rude to EXPECT any kind of gift. Spread the word by mouth. Tell both sets of parents that you would prefer money instead of actual gifts so that way when people ask them where you are registered they can let them know that you would prefer a monetary gift.
2006-08-09 06:45:33 · answer #5 · answered by d.boughey 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How many times a day does this question get asked and how many times a day do the people on here say
"There is no polite way to ask for money in your invites. NO references to gifts should ever be included in an invitation as it assumes that the invitee will be getting you one."
I understand that you are in a different situation, but you still can't just put "I want money" in your invite. If you have an insert, put a link to your wedding website (like on the knot or theweddingchannel.com) and you can make a nicely worded request on there like - "Because we will be returning to the US after the wedding, we request that all gifts either be sent to our US address or be easily transportable." And then have the family and bridesmaids spread your request via word of mouth.
Good luck to you. : )
2006-08-09 06:44:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't. It's considered very rude to even hint that you expect presents. Supposedly, you invite people because you care about them, not so that you can shake them down for gifts. However, you CAN maneuver your guests into a position so that they will ASK what sort of gift you might like. If they bring the subject up, not you, there's nothing wrong with giving them an honest answer -- CASH!
Here is a link for you. In it, I advise a bride on how to keep control of her guest list. When you are making the 'confirmation calls' I mention there, most people will ask you what sort of gift you'd like. http://answers.yahoo.com/question/;_ylt=AgDM8KasS1Lvts41knmogc4jzKIX?qid=1006051524132
Congratulations and best wishes!
2006-08-09 06:46:57 · answer #7 · answered by kill_yr_television 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is extremely rude to mention gifts in any way, in your invitations. It's even MORE rude to specify money gifts or direct people's gift giving in any way.
People will not give you physical gifts at the wedding if they know you are going to live in CA after the ceremony. They have a brain in their own head and know you wouldn't want to fly with a ton of gifts.
It's actually most proper for people to SHIP physical gifts to the return address on the invitations, not bring them with them to the reception, so if that address is a CA address (yours) , that's where most gifts will be sent.
2006-08-09 13:07:08 · answer #8 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't put that on the invitation! That's VERY tacky.
Just kind of put the word out amongst family & friends and other invitees (UNOFFICALLY) that because of travel issues, you'd rather not have anything you have to pack. This way, you tell them without coming right out and saying it, you'd rather have money vs. items.
OR, register at a travel agency - Liberty Travel does this, and people can give you "travel gifts". My friends did that when they got married. They give you little cards to put in the invites that tells people where you're registered. (Otherwise, if people ask where you're registering, tell them you aren't.)
Some people are just going to do what they want to do gift-wise anyway and you're not going to change them, but give them the option of shipping those things to California at their expense. They might think twice.
2006-08-09 06:45:01 · answer #9 · answered by zippythejessi 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Never put that in writing. You might like to subtely get the word out to very close friends and family but don't go advertising it as it is just tacky and greedy.
Your better bet is to try to remind people that you will be travelling back to the US and let them extrapolate that it will be hard to take things back.
Or you could get an online bridal registry in the US so that the gifts are delivered to the US.
2006-08-09 06:47:03 · answer #10 · answered by mel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing - it's extrememly bad etiquette. There should be no mention of gifts, registry or anything like that in the invites. That information should be spread word of mouth, but not by YOU. Check out www.etiquettehell.com and look at the forums. They can give you other options.
2006-08-09 06:40:13 · answer #11 · answered by They call me ... Trixie. 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋