Okay, so help me out... My boyfriends mother and father divorced about 15 years ago due to the fact that his father (a marine) had an affair with a lady (also in the marines) and my bf found out about it first and had to make his father tell his mother. His mom is still not over what happened and to make matters worse, the dad and girlfriend are still together. Many friends of theirs have maintained a friendship only with the mother because of the fathers actions, which to me is understandable. However here is my problem... we are planning a wedding and although this will be the first time they will all be in the same room together since the divorce I'm not sure on whom to sit the father and girlfriend with... as they will only know their ex-friends and us.
I'd appreciate any suggestions! Thanks!
2006-08-09 06:22:13 · 9 answers · asked by kristinaanneblack 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Sorry... I should have mentioned that the father's family and friends will not be in attendance but the mother's family and friends would be.
2006-08-09 06:30:43 · update #1
I'd just put his father and girlfriend with people they don't know like some of your family or friends. That way there won't be any issues with the past, since they are meeting him for the first time.
2006-08-09 07:16:43 · answer #1 · answered by Blue 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i agree with what the others said that you should sit them with your family and let them make friends there. but regardless of where they sit, it still won't be ideal because they will be in the room so delicately and firmly remind your future mother-in-law and have her remind her family/friends that it is your and her son's wedding. you want it to be a happy day and would really appreciate if they could maintain an adult level of maturity and behave like civil, well-raised people during those few hours. they can all go back to being upset or whatever AFTER the two of you are on your honeymoon, but just ask them to keep you and your hubby-to-be in mind and be considerate and try to make the day a happy one. send the same message to your future father-in-law and his g/f.
good luck! i hope they all remember to play nice for the sake of you and your hubby.
*also, inform your family, if you haven't already, of the situation, and have them try to run interference for you. watch to make sure no serious arguments or confrontations occur. i also suggest you limit alcohol comsumption (if you are having it at the wedding) as that will no doubt make things worse and lessen everyones ability to stay calm.
2006-08-09 07:40:23 · answer #2 · answered by BeeBee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit them with your co workers or someone not in the family. I would keep them far away from the mother (who should be very close to the front). Also away from people that do not like him. However make sure that you sit them next to someone who is talkative so that they will be involved in convo with them and not be upset that they were sat so far away. But the father chose this route in life, so this is a price he has to pay for it. Even though it was so long ago, he should be anticipating that this will happen. He also has no right to be upset about where he is sitting. Remember though, he is a guy so he might not even notice that he is far away.
2006-08-09 09:13:15 · answer #3 · answered by michiganwife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you have two options here - you can either put them with their ex-friends or with strangers.
I think that a big part of the decision would depend on what the ex-friends are like. I mean it could be that they just sort of fell out of contact with him because of the situation, but it's a whole different story if they actively hate him and told him how awful he was and there are just bad feelings. If you think that all of the friends will at least be able to be cordial to him and his girlfriend, I would seat them with friends.
We had a similar seating problem at our wedding with an uncle of mine that was disowned by the family...we ended up seating him with a certain family from my husband's side - this family was known to be extremely friendly, chatty and good with strangers. So no one really ended up feeling uncomfortable. Good luck!
2006-08-09 08:52:10 · answer #4 · answered by ykokorocks 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a million. As undesirable as this would sound the choose consistently has a tendency to vote contained in the mummy's want until eventually you may coach that she isn't worth.. And if she has custody the he will ought to pay that for the time of latest child help.. To be truthful 500 is low-fee thinking i be conscious of ppl that ought to pay 1500 a month for one new child!! 2. the situation she is touching on is in all probability adultery.. If he's not completely divorced then of direction he continues to be legally married ... and relationship you and having you pregnant referrs to adultery.. You wont get into situation yet whilst courtroom date comes up for the divorce to be very final he can somewhat be in for it.. The choose can enhance new child help ect... basically reckoning on the choose and the guidelines on that contained in the state you're in. it can be a solid concept for you and him to maintain a pc and known you have the new child write it down (the time toddler got here, who delivered toddler or the place you picked toddler up, time toddler left, who picked up.. ect... additionally a similar on your guy's mom.. this sort you need to use this in courtroom to coach that she is not at all there for the new child and if he needs custody he can combat for it and have a greater proper possibility of having custody and make her pay new child help!
2016-09-29 02:19:06 · answer #5 · answered by matlock 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are any impartial members of the father's family going to be there eg your fiancee's paternal grandparents, cousins, aunties etc. I think that those sort of people would be the best because, even if they have a problem with what he has done, they are his family and should be accepting of him regardless.
2006-08-09 06:29:00 · answer #6 · answered by mel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow...you have quite the situation on your hands. Put them with your family. That way there will be enough seperation between them to keep from an outburst or anything worse then that.
Good luck!
2006-08-09 06:34:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to set up two separate family tables for his family, and one for yours. At his mom's table, put her family. At his table, put his family.
2006-08-09 06:33:42 · answer #8 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They say life is a movie! What movie is that?
2006-08-09 06:31:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋