I have some friends whom at first we had a great relationship. We have done some "you catch me this time, I'll catch you next time" stuff, but now lately the only time that they call is if they need to borrow money! Is there any way to "nicely" ask why that is? I just feel anymore we're just a 'bank' to them and kinda wanna know WTF? is the deal with that. I'm not a rude person, so really don't want to go that route. Friendship is obviously done with, but still would like to know what's up..any ideas?
2006-08-09 05:32:03 · 14 answers · asked by DD 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
How about just being honest with them? Next time they call, ask them why they only call when they need something. Tell them the money you made this week is going towards whatever.....(makeup, car vacation, fund, kids, college, future, bills, whatever). No one likes a friend that is only around when they want something, that is no true friend. Tell them that too, I bet they won't ask for money again.
2006-08-09 05:43:09 · answer #1 · answered by mixemup 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Too much drama in the post. You do have my empathy--I was screwed out of money on an inheritance as well. "he wanted me to put the money into a savings account in his name" No, No, NO! If you put the money into an account with his name only, you will have just gifted him the entire amount of money. If you loan him the money, he can fail to pay you back and when that happens, the law tends to call it a gift because he's related to you. "is it possible that just having that money in an account in his name could of helped him get that morgage when he was trying to do it alone? " Only if you had gifted him the entire amount. Mortgage lenders want borrowers to have skin in the game. If they had figured out this was your money, they would demand a "gift letter" because they would assume the deal was a loan, not a gift. The lender is figuring out the maximum he can borrow and subtracting every other loan from that total. If he can't qualify without the money, he can't qualify with it, if it was a loan. The text of the "gift letter" would have you agreeing that the money was now his and he'd never have to pay you back. Dear Brother, I love you, but you must stop asking me questions about MY money. I don't owe you an explanation about how I have it invested. I happen to be very comfortable with where I have it invested and have no interest in moving the money to any other account(s). Please listen to me when I say it's MY money, not yours, not ours. Any investment decision must be mine as I have to live with the result. If I were to let you invest it and you lost it all, I would never speak to you again. To prevent that from happening, I won't be involving you with these decisions. Sincerely, your sister.
2016-03-27 05:17:37 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that's sad. You say the friendship is done, so just stop taking their calls. How unfortunate. However, even though you say the friendship is done, the premise of the question is ways to talk to a friend...
So... if they are still friends of yours, or if you want to try to salvage the friendship, then say you're really not comfortable lending money anymore. You can say that you feel lending money ruins friendships, and you'd rather keep them as friends.
2006-08-09 08:06:05 · answer #3 · answered by locolady98 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just say that we have no money right now, sorry. if they ask why, just say that we have no money and leave it at that. if they continue, just ask why?? at this point you have a reason to inquire since they persist. you are being nice by even considering it. if no good answer, say no.
a really good friend would never borrow money without a VERY good explanation, and more than likely never ask!
2006-08-09 05:44:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) say u don't have any money, sorry
2) call them back and ask for ur money back saying u owe someone else (they should understand that..and if they can't pay, they won't call anymore)
3) tell them money and friends don't mix, and u learned ur lesson thru them..see u around.
4) tell them never to call and say money in the same sentence.
5) don't answer the phone if it's their number
2006-08-09 05:38:14 · answer #5 · answered by sasmallworld 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because it has been easiest to borrow from you.
To end it, you just don't answer their calls anymore. When you have a problem, usually the problem is YOU. Because you let them come to you, you let them use you, you let them borrow from you. YOU LET THEM.
2006-08-09 16:28:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU gotta ask your friend for the purpose... and that you do have the money with a purpose, too..
BUT since we're friends, you can wait for her to pay and then use the money...
2006-08-09 05:38:15 · answer #7 · answered by kwing-kwang 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WHAT'S UP IS YOU ARE BEING USED AND TAKEN FOR GRANTED! QUIT LENDING MONEY AND SEE WHO REMAINS YOUR FRIEND! 2 TESTS OF FRIENDSHIP: (1) DO THEY KEEP THEIR WORD TO YOU? (2) DO THEY RESPECT YOU FOR YOURSELF--NO STRINGS ATTACHED??? IF NO TO EITHER ONE--DISTANCE YOURSELF---YOU DON'T NEED PARASITES CLINGING TO YOU!
2006-08-09 05:38:26 · answer #8 · answered by snoopyyoukingcaptain 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cut them off.
2006-08-09 05:42:58 · answer #9 · answered by Think.for.your.self 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them you are broke. If they complain, tell them that they are the reason you are broke. Say "get a job, you bum"
2006-08-09 05:36:20 · answer #10 · answered by embem171 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋