why is it that guys will flirt with me and be nice and everything, but they only want sex. That's fine and all sometimes. But i'd like to date and have a relationship possibly, but everytime the flirting is over and they ask for sex and i say no I never hear from them again. Everyone says yeah ur pretty, and fun to be around. Awesome, but then why am I only good for sex?? Am i just looking in the wrong places or what?
2006-08-09 05:01:15 · 11 answers · asked by dosethatmakemecrazy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
*heh* If they push for sex, or ask about sex, they've made it clear what they're looking; saying no, and moving on is the right thing for you to do. It helps if you suggest activities during the flirting phase that are not traditionally thought of as precursors to sex. So, if you're talking about getting together for a date, suggesting seeing a movie might not be so good, since furtive fumblings and gropings in the back of a dark theatre are definitely linked in the male mind. And don't suggest going out for dinner as a first date, since that's also linked with the classic after dinner question "so--your place or mine?"
I tend to find meeting people for lunch is a better way to start the ball rolling; if they seem to be looking for all the wrong things, or just trying to get into your pants, instead of into your head, you can glance at a watch and say you hate to rush, but you've got somewhere you need to be, and you're worried you'll be late. [which is true, after all--at that moment, you really need to be anywhere else but with that idiot. ;) ]
Start things off slowly, and spend time talking to them about a variety of subjects. Flirting is good for breaking the ice, but once the initial ice is broken, you need to turn off the flirting, and starting asking questions about other topics to get his mind off the physical, and start finding out about the rest of him. Mention something political, and see how he reacts to get an idea of his political leanings. Make a comment about work ("man, sometimes my boss can be such a challenge to deal with--does your boss sometimes get on your case?") to find out if he works, how his interactions with his coworkers is, and some idea of what kind of work he does, and where he works. Make the questions as open-ended as possible, to give him lots of room to talk. The idea is to shift his attention away from the physical, let him realize there's a whole bunch of other aspects to you, and to let you find out how deep or shallow he is at the same time.
If you keep using flirting beyond the initial few minutes to break the ice, they're going to get a very one-dimensional picture of who you are, and it'll be understandable why they focus on the physical side only. If you're at a party ,or in a group setting, flirt for just a few minutes to get their attention and break the ice, but then start talking about other topics, and see if they stick around, or if they move on to talk to other people instead. If they stick around, they've got a mind up top and aren't afraid to use it. If they move on, they're just thinking with the little head, and it's time to be glad they moved on.
Good luck with it, and don't get discouraged--there *are* good men out there, it's just a matter of getting past the idiots first.
2006-08-10 07:37:51 · answer #1 · answered by mpetach 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey guys say the same thing about me, and at times i start to think they are intimidated by a pretty girl. I also think they feel that since we are too pretty we can never be faithful ( which is untrue beauty have nothing to do with it) It also can depend on how you flirt with a guy because if you give them too much then they would start to think that your only about sex. But if you flirt with them in a shy way (like just say hi or compliment them on their outfit) then they may feel that you want a lil more then what they expected. There is never a right place to look for a guy b/c half the time u think it's right it is wrong. Just be patient and the guy would find you. Good luck to us both
2006-08-10 05:19:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Location could have ALOT to do with it.
U have much more to offer a guy than Ur body and it's about time that U realized it.
If U want a relationship??? Then have one, if a guy asks for sex and U say no and he bolts, well to hell with him, he didn't deserve U anyway and Move on.
U will though in fact find a guy that will be more interested in U as a person than just Ur body.
So let's keep our clothes on for awhile until we meet a nice that will spend some time with U and let U know that he really likes U for U.
Sweetie, no Ur worth, and be choosy about these guys....
There are still some good ones out there....
Good Luck. I hope things work out for U
2006-08-09 05:14:23 · answer #3 · answered by HeartsOnFire 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be a case of you looking in all the wrong places. Then again don't make yourself unapproachable either. Having a relationship with someone entails having sex as well. Not on the first date though, otherwise you'll get dumped like a hot potato. If you meet someone that is willing to have a real relationship go for it. Otherwise hold out and wait, you'll know when the time is right.
2006-08-09 05:08:41 · answer #4 · answered by El Teke 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are looking in the wrong places yes. Guys will ask for sex if they think they can get it. Usually its the forward and overly friendly type. You should take it slow and refuse to do anything with a guy for like 2 months (kiss, hold hands, etc) and that is a good way to see what they are expecting. If they want sex, they will have bolted by then easily. Patience is the way to get a relationship.
2006-08-09 05:07:25 · answer #5 · answered by trrocks03 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You like the guys that flirt with you and you should try to look for the nice one next time. But, I also think that guys think you are putting out because you flirt back so they think that you are that type of girl. Hope you find someone.
2006-08-09 05:10:24 · answer #6 · answered by Berties 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How are acting towards them? Are u flirting too much, maybe u dont notice it. Guys will get the wrong idea if u flirt a lot, be cool, be the first one to end the conversation, leave him wanting more
2006-08-09 05:07:01 · answer #7 · answered by pinkstar 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You got to remember most guys only think with their second head. Anyway, some of us women are just attracted to that type of guys and we will always end up in the same situation. When you first date a guy you need to watch for the (signs) it's called "red flags" - as soon as you spot one of them - dump the guy and move on before damage occurs to your self esteem. These kinds of guys are not worth your time.
2006-08-09 05:13:13 · answer #8 · answered by Leila 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to curb the flirting and take time to get to know the guy BEFORE the flirting begins
2006-08-09 05:07:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is that guys only want sex and not a serious relationship...it happens to me ...and it sucks right?
but when a guy is really into you you dont feel the same way
2006-08-09 05:06:26 · answer #10 · answered by ~*Just me*~ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋