My fiance is 11 weeks preg, and in the last 4-5 weeks, she has put me through emotional hell. We've only been dating for 5 mos and she has a 4 yo daughter. Although hesitant at first, I got to know her daughter and fell our idea of starting a family together. Too soon? Probably... Then she got pregnant! I was scared for like 2 minutes. But when I realized where we were headed before she knew she was pregnant, I quickly embraced the whole thing. I was already in love with her & her daughter - now I know why I'm here! I'm excited, and have been bending over backwards to make her happy and show her that I'm committed and here to support her and make her dreams happen.Everything I do (with good intentions) absolutely pisses her off,suddenly.She wants space. And she's afraid of her daughter resenting her for having another child.She's even said she doesn't want to share parenting w/ me. (ouch!) I want the baby to have both parents (Because I didn't).We still live apart. I'm 30 and she's 27.
2006-08-09 04:41:38 · 11 answers · asked by Jon M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Get the hell out of Dodge!
2006-08-09 04:44:22 · answer #1 · answered by happy_jean 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have been together for 5 months,thats just so soon to be starting a family.Shes probably scared.Maybe she feels that you will eventually leave her.Where is the father of the first child?Maybe she sees history repeating itself.You need to reassure her that you arent going anywhere but do not get married yet.Thats the worst thing you can do under the circumstances.And as far as the hormomes go,you have another 6 months of that my friend!I used to throw kitchen appliances at my hubby just for forgetting to flush the toilet or put the seat down.And Im sure her daughter will love the baby just as much as you do,it will just take a little time.You should involve her in helping get reay for the baby.Take her shopping and let her pick a gift for the new baby,or an outfit.Let her feel it kick.There are so many good times ahead after all this passes.Enjoy your family !!
2006-08-09 04:50:59 · answer #2 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yikes. Just dont push her. Pregnant women can be mean spitefull bitc*es and anything you do is gonna set her off. It really sucks being pregnant, your sick all the time, feel fat, hot, hungry, and everything else all at once. Plus you have to worry about all the money it takes to have a baby, I'm talking about just the monthly doctor visits and the actuall birth, it costs around 25000.00 just for that. Then therers the diapers and formula, clothes, dance lessons, football practice, prom dress or tux, car, class ring, then college. And in todays day and age it is scary raising a child. Look at the situation in the middle east, what if your baby goes into the military? What about all the child molesters nowdays? I know this sounds like I'm rambling on and getting totally off the subject, but trust me, this is exactly what is going thru your pregnant girlfriends mind right now. Trust me, I have been there and was just like her in the beginning. The good news is is that it doesnt last forever, and she will get her hormones under controll in a few weeks to months and be back to normal. My advise, do not bug her to death, do not talk about anything serious like moving in together, just take it cool. Let her know you will be there for her and her daughter should she need you. Odds are she will be calling you after a few days. Everything will be fine. In the meantime, watch out for flying objects.
2006-08-09 04:54:53 · answer #3 · answered by trebobnagrom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ouch this is a really hard situation, I'am a 34 yr old female, married 12yrs w/ a 11yr old son. Until we had our son I never realized how much men are at the womans mercy when it comes to a child..... I get very angry when a woman thinks that she has all the power, it takes two people to make the baby and definetly two people to raise the baby..... High levels of hormones is not a reason to ruin this wonderful experience for you. When I read that she was 27 I was very surprised I was expecting you to say she was maybe 20 - but her actions show someone who is on the maturity level of a 15 year old little girl. Fortunately this will pass (hormone level highs) and hopefully she will embrace the fact that a wonderful man has helped her make a new little life and wants to be involved in it.. Shame on her...
2006-08-09 04:52:53 · answer #4 · answered by skiingbabygirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I remember feeling an absolutely intense white hot anger anytime I really ought to be just upset when I was expecting.
You might have to bear with the witch in her for a while because if you bail now... points will be deducted from you as a parent for the rest of your natural life. That's not to say you should take everything she dumps on you, go for a walk when things get too unbearable. If you are that serious maybe you should consider formalising the relationship, she might be feeling a bit insecure about being a baby mama again
2006-08-09 04:55:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You think you have it bad, try looking at it from her point of view. She is pregnant and her hormone levels are through the roof. It is normal for her to be emotional, this is something you are going to have to deal with for the remainder of the pregnancy and even for a few months after. Just try to be supportive and patient with her. Let her tell you what she wants, don't assume anything. Good luck. Best wishes for a healthy baby.
2006-08-09 09:42:42 · answer #6 · answered by latingirl0527 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give her her distance. But it sort of seems that it's going to have to be something that you're going to have to put up with, for the most part. If you're the daddy, then you should be there for the child (and the mother).
Only 3 months into 9 months of pregnancy, it's going to be a long, hard road it sounds like. But eventually the hormones will all settle out and it will all be ok again.
Good luck!
2006-08-09 04:49:36 · answer #7 · answered by JoeSchmoe06 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is freaking out because she realizes you are bound together by this child for the rest of your lives and she's only known you for 5 months. Even if its all good, that would freak me out too.
Give her some space and start counseling for you to learn how to deal with this, then invite her when the time is right.
Hopefully, you guys can work this out and be a family.
Best of luck!
2006-08-09 04:47:05 · answer #8 · answered by Lisa the Pooh 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guess what Einstein---she's pregnant! Women's bodies go through all kinds of hormonal changes when they are pregnant. Just bear with her. If it doesn't work out b/t you two, you at least have to remain civil b/c she will be in your life forever since you will now share a child. Good luck and maybe you should just keep your distance when she has her outbursts..... :)
2006-08-09 04:47:43 · answer #9 · answered by kittyluver 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Women are strange when their pregnant, good luck, about all you can do is hang in there, and do what you can. Unfortunately, get ready for Support Enforcement papers, and a really big medical bill.
2006-08-09 04:50:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋