How can I keep my cool so that I wont punch hubbys ex wife in the face ?

Question

she's using his child against him I'm trying to stay out of it but she's making it hard when she drags me into it saying she doesnt want her child around that B***H,Now they divorced long before I met him and she doesn't even know me, but the three times his daughter came down to visit us she's cried to stay with us it breaks my heart everytime because my husband has to deal with baby mama drama.My husband didn't leave his child he left his ex wife but for some reason this child thinks my husband does not love her because she says her mom says if daddy loved you he would be here with you.(she chose to move far away trying to get my hubby's attention and it backfired on her) but he loves his child I want to be civil but his ex is being unreasonable and jealous and just plain bitter.

Answer 1

Sorry to say, but the best thing to do is stay out of it. You're in a situation that is going to require more patience and understanding than you ever thought possible. She's their child, not yours and you have to respect that. Try talking w/ your hubby.
Sounds like he needs to have a serious talk with his ex. Explain to him your concern and how it's (apparently) upsetting you. He's going to either have to go through court and get any type of custody order, or he and his ex are going to have to hash this out at a sit down. The best thing YOU can do is continue to love that little girl and show her that affection. When she's older she'll see the truth for herself. In the end, it's that girls mother who's going to have to answer for those lies about daddy.

Answer 2

First - you need to stay out of it. Despite the fact that the ex calls you names, you have nothing to do with it. You could be Mother Teresa, and the ex would still be calling you names. She is doing this because she is mad he left. Stop reacting to it, and she will stop doing it. Stop fueling her by responding to her childish behavior. You don't reward bad behavior by returning it in kind. You simply document the bad blood, and consult with an attorney. If you turn it into a back-and-forth, then you have no legal ground to stand on.
The daughter is partially reacting to you and your husbands feelings about the ex, whenever it is time for her to go back. It is not fair to her. I am sure that there is a custody order in effect. It is not fair to the daughter that you make her feel like crap when it is time for her to go back to her "evil" mother (as I am sure you and your husband have expressed or emoted in the past).
If the ex is doing something illegal or immoral, than document it, and file a claim. Otherwise, support your husband, and support your step daughter - and you do this by helping to ensure that her time with her "evil" mother is not a bad thing. Whether you choose to believe it or not, she is probably not the devil - otherwise your husband would never have married her in the first place. It is time for you adults to start acting like adults.

Answer 3

Well for one thing stop allowing the ex to control you so much. You are allowing her to control your emotions. Let it go. If you have a custody agreement, he can have it amended to say, no disparaging remarks made to child by either parent. Then tape all conversations, and get her for contempt. Otherwise, you should grow up, stand back, listen, make notes for later on. Who cares if she thinks you are a b. Why do you care what people you don't like think of you. I don't. Just care about the ones you love. Move on.
SHE HAS NO POWER OVER YOU! DON'T GIVE UP YOUR POWER!
Good Luck!

Answer 4

I honestly say stay out of it!!!Be the bigger person and stay out of the baby momma drama....I understand that it might break your heart seeing your hubby and his child suffer but it is between him, his ex and the child they share and I repeat they share....You would only make things worse for everyone involved.She is hurt right now and she looks at you as the enemy you have what was once hers and she thinks you want to take her place as a Mom.Just try to support your husband and be a good wife by keeping your nose out of it!!!