I started working for a firm 4 years ago and got on great with one of the women in my office. She's always had a boyfriend since I've known her and she normally complains to me about him. Around Christmas time, she set me up with one of her friends and while her friend was really nice, it made me realise that I really loved her. Now I can't stop thinking of her and want to tell her to get rid of her boyfriend - she could do so much better. However, I don't want to risk the friendship and I have no idea if she feels the same way. I'm tempted to tell her how I feel the next time we're out together but my head has over-ruled my heart everytime so far. What should I do???
2006-08-09 03:59:42 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Ask her out for coffee... During coffee ask her about getting dinner after work. Then tell her... HOWEVER, If she is CURRENTLY in a relationship with someone, Understand that even if she reciprocates your feelings.... She will need time to either leave her boyfriend, or move out, or move him out, or get ahold of her own feelings and figure this out. BUT DO NOT DO ANYTHING PHYSICAL WITH HER TILL SHE HAS!!!! Dont be the "other person". Not only will that completely ruin things with your friendship in case she stays with the other guy, You will know that she cheated on one guy with you, whats to say that she wont cheat on you with another guy??? Be careful in your words, DONT USE LOVE... Just say We've been chatting about your relationships & my relationships for a while and Ive been thinking... What about us having a relationship? More than friends.... & see what she says... If she laughs tell her you WERE JOKING... at least you have it out there and TRUST ME, she will be thinking about it! Good luck.
2006-08-09 04:08:22 · answer #1 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would like to tell you to tell her how you feel but being on the outside and looking into this, it makes me wonder if her bf is really more suitable for her than you are...sometimes differences in a relationship is the glue that keeps them together and a more perfect situation could not be as rewarding...she obviously doesn't want better or she would have ended her current relationship....before you show your intentions think about this first..because once you have , she may be convinced by your good friendship that she may be better off with you...later to find it isn't as rewarding..breaking your heart and ruining such a friendship of wanting more...timing is everything....make your move when you feel it is best understood...good luck.
2006-08-09 04:10:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the fact she set u up with a mate mat suggest that she does not have the same feeling for you @ the mo as you do for her, but then its a tricky one becuase she has a boyfriend she wuldnt be able to show any feelings for you. She sounds like she sees you as just a good friend @ the mo because she confides in you about her boyfriend so i would watch how you approach it if you do tell her...try giving her little hints tho and innuendos and see how she takes them?flirt a little -not full on but enough that if she has the same feelings she will get what you mean?, hope it goes ok i kinda have the sma eproblem @ the mo about a close friend but who has a g/f so Good luck hope it goes ok.
2006-08-09 04:25:45 · answer #3 · answered by mellow yellow 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her how you feel, if you get no response, tell her you just had to tell her but you dont expect anything anything out of it and you dont want to ruin your relationship with her. Because at the end of the day, if she doesnt want you back, there's nothing you can do. I'm sure you are very much capable of finding someone, its just that you seem to be putting a lot of effort into this woman and who knows....you could have let the "one" you're supposed to be with, slip through your fingers?
I used to really fancy a work-mate for 2 years and it almost drove me insane...I didnt say anything and just stopped paying attention to him. I thought I should just cut my losses and move on. He started chasing me after that and I didnt respond to his efforts for two months. We ended up going out for 2 years. Its all a psychological game! Good Luck x
2006-08-09 04:33:16 · answer #4 · answered by Theresa 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
spend more time with her...let her see that ur a pretty decent guy... hopefully she'll realize that she deserves better ..but u cant make someone like you... n it's wrong to make her break up with her boyfriend... she has to do it(bcuz she wants too)...and she has to realize that u would be better for her...n u hv to show her that... for now all she needs is a friend n thats you.. just be there for her... n if she cares she'll come around
good luck
2006-08-09 04:08:11 · answer #5 · answered by abigail 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
next time speak to her and ask her what would she do if someone else asked her out? somtimes women moan about men to their friends because it's a release and you are a good friend, just ask her out right what she would do, or ask her if she is really serious about this guy...good luck but theres always a but, you will have to live with the answer.......
2006-08-09 04:08:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A no gets you to move on and a yes gets you to move on.
OK a no is hurting but she must be a mate it might be a little awkward if she said no but u just get over it.
Go for it what you got to lose ..
2006-08-09 04:08:03 · answer #7 · answered by Nutty Girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
God, what a dificult situation. poor you. I think you have to tell her how you feet. If she rejects you then you can move on. But whatever you do, don't insult her boyfriend. That'll kill the relationship before it's begun.
Good luck
2006-08-09 04:06:30 · answer #8 · answered by Patchouli Pammy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't be funny i don't think it is the best cos you're definately going to reign your friendship with her i don't think she'll hook you up with her friend if she likes you. give her some space and allow her to have a friend like you. concerntrate on your date you two cna be happy together
2006-08-09 04:08:11 · answer #9 · answered by Prisca 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be careful how you approach it. You two have to see each other at work.
2006-08-09 04:06:20 · answer #10 · answered by Lady J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋