My gilfriend of 4 months broke off because she is Asian and her family wouldnt accept her seeing a white manm she sees no future for us and felt it was better now than later on which would be harder. Reluctantly i have to agree, however she wants us to be close friends. I cant imagine never seeing her again, Do you think it wise i make a clean break or continue to see her as a friend?
2006-08-09 03:47:09 · 32 answers · asked by Stevie T 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you want to be her friend then you must accept and be able to deal with your feelings
of intimacy for her.If you are around her and all you can think of is how you want to hold her hand,kiss her of have some type of bodily contact then you aren't going to be able to be her friend.But you agree to her decission that you don't have a future.If you agree then maybe it's a sign that you may be able to accept being friends without falling again.I personally wish I knew more on the chances
of two different people from two different cultures having a successful future.I hope that it is possible because I am white but my boyfriend of five years and father of my son is from Mexico.I sometimes wonder will we have complications in the future.
2006-08-09 03:59:00 · answer #1 · answered by jenn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really depends how you feel about her and how she feels about you. Is she deciding based on her parents' opinion? You can respect her decision for the meantime. You can also establish some closeness with her family so they could get to know you and not judge you. If you believe in yourself that you can be good for her then go! Asians are really protective over their daughters. Friends are okay but once a guy friend becomes the boyfriend it is another story... you really have to prove to the parents you are worthy for them to accept you into the family. The way you are scrutinized is like you are going to be the husband. Am sure your girlfriend also gets this pressure and nagging from her parents. You can try to understand her. Well, if you can manage your feelings properly. Hope this helps.
2006-08-09 04:13:57 · answer #2 · answered by Hypnotic 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I absolutely HATE situations like this and I generally end up bucking the system, but it doesn't always work out in your favor, and you certainly can't buck the system by yourself. Try maybe one more time to see how she "feels" as opposed to what she thinks she's supposed to feel.I mean, one more try isn't going to harm anything if she doesn't share your feelings...you're already broken up, what can she do, break up twice? But if she's just doing this to please her family, maybe you can show her the benefits of listening to her heart instead. It's a shot, right? You've got nothing else to lose...especially when you balance that beside the feeling of loss you're experiencing knowing she's gone. You'll feel better if you know you did all you could possibly do to keep her.
Good luck, man...I really hope this works out well for you.
P.S. "Hypnotic" had some really good insights for this situation...read her answer again.
2006-08-09 04:14:39 · answer #3 · answered by Captain S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In your case I would recommend continuing the friendship. Yes, it will be hard to view her as "just a Friend" however four moths is not a very long time. Given a few years of friendship and her family may see differently. In this case you must prove yourself worthy and by remaining a fried you will earn great honor amongst them.
2006-08-09 03:53:06 · answer #4 · answered by buford_bargain_hunter 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that when you first break up it is too hard to be friends, give your self some time to get over it and then you can start to be friends again.
my ex and i were together for 4 years and we didnt start being friends again untill 2 1/2 months after we broke up cause i couldnt handle talking to him. But now were good and were back to being really good friends just like before we started dating :)
2006-08-09 03:52:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's always great IF you can continue a friendship. However, normally there should be a bit of a separation period. To make sure the feelings die down and theres no animosity towards one another. So, my advice would be a little bit of both, and see where that takes you.
2006-08-09 03:54:03 · answer #6 · answered by str8tequila80 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a touch call. It seems you are being mature by accepting her decision, good for you. I know it is hard to do but you might want to give yourself some time to get over her first before you make the move to being friends and complicate things.
2006-08-09 03:52:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well its going to be hard seeing her as a friend as you must still like her a lot. But its up to you really as no one can tell you who you can be friends with. Why not try the friends thing and see how it goes. Good luck
2006-08-09 04:05:45 · answer #8 · answered by Pinkflower 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mr. Chivalry says, "It's unfortunate that racism still exists. Sorry about that. However, there is nothing that says you can't be friends with her. Who knows? Things may change in the near future. Good luck to you."
Mr. Chivalry has spoken.
2006-08-09 04:26:34 · answer #9 · answered by L Jeezy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Each couple is different, but it sounds like you already answered your own question. If you know it would be too painful, then stay away. It's hard to be around people you care for when you can't act on it. Good Luck!
2006-08-09 03:54:06 · answer #10 · answered by flowerandkevin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋