My children mean ......?

Question

the world to me. My six year old son wants a trampoline and I said yes to him. I know that I give my children a lot even though they are really young. Some might say they are spoilt but I dont see that as I was an only child and got laods. My hubby goes mad as I always get them things. He is one of Five and had to wait till birthdays ans christmas. Well my question is should I get the trampoline even if my hubby said no? I did say yes to my child an his birthday is not till March so he cant wait that long. I even suggested it to be part of our other son's birthday present but hubby said he was to young to get a trampoline at 1 years old. My son wants it really badly. What should I do. Please dont be horrible with your answers. Thank you.

its for my 6 year old not one year old

a 8ft one with net around it.

Answer 1

Do what you fill if you think your hubby will get mad and you think your son will be mad he is your own flesh and blood i say yes give it to your son

Answer 2

It's important that you and your husband work together as a team when parenting your children. I have to say that in this case, I agree with your husband that your son is too young to have a trampoline...trampolines can be extremely dangerous for people of any age. By giving into your son and going against your husband, you might as well be telling your son that what his dad says/thinks doesn't matter -- he'll always come to mommy because she always gives him what he wants.
You shouldn't have promised your child the trampoline in the first place without consulting your husband. Maybe consider apologizing to your son and telling him that you talked it over with dad you both decided that it wasn't a good idea -- there will be tears, screaming, etc., but it won't be the end of the world. You could also make him wait until his birthday and then give him one of those little exercise trampolines.
Good luck...

Answer 3

You should never promise your children anything until you and your husband have agreed on the subject and the same goes for your husband. How would you feel if your husband took your kid sky diving or shark fishing against your will? If you continue like this by the time your kid is ten he will be playing you against each other and getting away with murder.
A trampoline is dangerous, many people bounce of them sometimes hitting their heads. Should anything happen to him your husband will be right to blame you. Maybe because you were an only child and were spoiled as you say, you do not think of taking the feelings of others into consideration. Also if you keep putting your kid's whims above your husbands wishes he will get fed up really fast and you might end up a single parent. See how much money you'll have then to spoil your kids with.

Answer 4

You already said yes, so now you need to get the trampoline to show that when you say something your word is good. It is very important that children know parents mean what they say, always. In the future however, I would stop spending money on them all the time. A small treat once in a while is fine, but they need to learn the value of a dollar and that people don't always get everything they want in this world. Save the big surprises for birthdays and Christmas.

Answer 5

How big of a trampoline are you talking about? A little exercise one? I'm leery of the big, huge ones just because if they fall wrong it could mean broken ankles, legs or worse. Alot worse. Necks, backs....

As for your husband and his view on things...you both will have to come to some sort of compromise. You don't want the children to become a wedge between the two of you, nor do you want your children to play one off the other. Or worse, look at their dad as being horrible.

But I feel if your child is balanced, giving them lots of stuff isn't bad. But if you're giving, just to keep them in a good mood, or if they aren't keeping up with chores, homework, whatever, then it could be bad.

I wouldn't get the trampoline if hubby absolutely said no. Only because you don't want to completely disregard his place in authority and parenting. Work on him, and his issues of witholding...

Answer 6

You've got to wait like your husband said or else you're gonna have a fight on your hands. It's good you want to keep your word, but just explain to your 6 year old that the trampoline is coming and you can even make him a countdown calendar. Christmas is much closer!Just 4 months away. You're thinking about it a lot more than he will be, trust me. He can wait. He'll learn the great lesson about delayed gratification, too, a necessary lesson to prevent spoiling.

Answer 7

This sounds like something you really need to talk over with your husband. The two of you need to work on parenting TOGETHER!! What if your husband wanted to get them something you didn't approve of? Wouldn't you want him to respect your parenting? Regardless if a trampoline is appropriate for a 6 year old or not - you need to work on the route cause of the way you and your husband differ in parenting and come up with a compromise.

BTW - what wrong with having him wait 'til Christmas? Waiting for something will help build character and not to always expect to instant gratification in life.

Answer 8

You and your husband are a team. You both need to come to a medium on things. There cant be one person who is in charge. I understand and see your point but I also see his. Children do need to understand that they must earn things. If you hand your child everything they never learn responsibility. In turn you are actually damaging them. They will be better and more capable adults if they learn to earn or work for things.

See if your husband would be willing to allow your child to earn his prize.

Heres what we do.......

Give your child a jar.
get yourself a bag of marbles or whatever.......(be safe with the baby)
give your child a marble everytime he does his chores with out fussing, says something nice, picks up after himself, helps with the baby without being asked, etc.
When he reaches the number that you and your husband decide on then he has earned the trampoline.

In turn you get a child that is going to get a lesson in self disipline. Remember, he should only get a marble when he does these things with out fussing and on his own...........you shouldnt bribe him. You can remind him that he needs to work at his marbles.......but dont directly tell him if he is being bad or whinney one day, if you stop Ill give you a marble.............he needs to do it on his own. If he acts out simply say, wow thats not a way to get a marble.

The amount of the marbles needed to get a trampoline depends on how easily you hand out the marbles. I would suggest that it take about a month of good behaviour.........in the end he will get his trampoline and you and your husband will have the satisfaction of a great lesson taught.

Answer 9

It's not worth having your hubby mad. There is nothing wrong with making your son wait till his birthday. If he wants it that bad he'll wait. I was an only child too and feel the same about my kids, but if it wasn't for your hubby you wouldn't have those kids.

Answer 10

I agree with Debra about the jumping tents being safer. Also I would never agree to give a child something of some expense without asking my husband first. My hubby also tried something like this on me this summer. He told his 8 yr. old son that he would get him a 4 wheeler this summer without even asking me (I am their primary caretaker). I was furious!
Just think how you would feel if your husband promised your child a scooter and bought it for the kids without asking you or against your wishes. What's good for the goose is good for the gander.

Answer 11

I wouldn't go against my hubby. I would have a real discussion with him about it and all the pros and cons then we would make the decision together and explain together to our child why he can or can't have it.

Maybe you could set up a system for him to earn this trampoline prior to his birthday like if he isn't eating his dinner then every day that he eats properly he get s sticker then after so many stickers he earns the trampoline.

My mom brings gifts ever time she sees my kids and they don't even care about seeing her anymore it is all about "what's in the bag?!" Thanks to her I have to work very hard at teaching my children that things must be earned and taken care of properly. You don't want to be in this situation with your kids.