How do you beat insecurity?

Question

Sometimes I get really insecure and I'm pretty shy and quiet. I feel like I'm getting worse. If something embarrissing happens to me or i feel like I've said or done something wrong I actually can't bare the thought of it. I really struggle to deal with it. Sometimes I feel like I could just hide myself away from the entire world.

Great answer Suzita. Thanks for that.

Answer 1

Well......I am sending you my good wishes and sympathy. That sounds horrible.

Try not to worry, if you can, because the more you think about it, the worse it will feel.

One thing that helped me is to remember that everyone, no matter how confident they seem, has embarrassing moments and feels shy sometimes. Yes, it is a question of degree - but we all feel shy underneath.

Try getting the people around you to talk - build up a good group of friends. Try to be less self-conscious - think of other people and how they might be feeling.

You could try having some counselling or therapy. If you're in UK its possible to find this free through your doctor. Or look in yellow pages for organisations who offer low cost counselling. Or contact the BACP (British association for counselling) Bacp.co.uk. for a list of private counsellors and some free information about counselling and therapy.

Hope this is of help.

Answer 2

Are you close to a Barnes & Noble? There is a great book by Dr. Phil's son, Jay McGraw, written specifically for young people and it addresses such feelings of inadequacy and insecurity. The book is called "Life stragedies for Teens" and it provides concrete tools that you can utilize to conquer the feelings you wrote about, and help you become more self-confident. It would be worth the money, as I've read and reread it, but if money is an issue, why not check it out at your local library. You have the power to change your life. It's up to you. :)

Answer 3

a friend of mine had awfull trouble with anxiety and panic attacks. the doctor prescribed 'beta blockers' (am not sure of the medical terminology) but they worked for her during the day time.

at night, when all her worries/insecurities/doubts etc. were magnified, she used to pretend that there was a 'bubble' around her, and that all those negative thoughts couldn't break through her bubble. i asked her to explain this, and i think that she spent so much time focusing on the 'bubble' that she forgot all her worries and drifted off to sleep.

i've also read somewhere, that you should do one thing, every day that scares you. i've done this, not on a regular basis, but, rather, when i don't want to do something, because it scares me, or i'm scared of the outcome; and when its competed, i feel a sense of accomplishment and self worth. hope this is of some little help.

and trust me, when i say, that even the most confident of people have insecurities. i have many examples of this that i can share with you if you like.

Answer 4

Honey, you need to get over yourself. Insecurity is emotional selfishness. Truly, I'm not trying to be mean or hurt your feelings. But you need to stop obsessing about what other people think of you. Concentrate on your positive attributes. Feel good about yourself. Learn to laugh at yourself. If something embarrassing happens, don't be mortified! Just laugh as if it happened to someone else. We all make mistakes. Quit trying so hard to be perfect. Realize that all of us are flawed. We have all ripped our pants or farted in public. Just get over it and learn to enjoy life. You are probably a really terrific person. But unfortunately, you are already hiding yourself away from the world. It's time to come out and play. Good luck.

Answer 5

Well it is to do with your lack of self confidence. For example, if you know a subject then you would feel confident to talk about it. if you dont know then you feel insecure, shy and embarrsed to talk about that topic. So I guess do plenty readings, have discussion sessions with your friends and family (obviously a topic which you feel good talking about), watch TV programmes and so forth. I am sure these will increase your confidence level and you wont feel insecure anymore. (Golden role: make sure what ever your view points you have to try to stick with that and prove that you are right and you will notice after a while you see you start winning debates and your confidence level will rise and you wont feel unsecure anymore.)

Also you could try something else. When you wake up in the morning stand up in front of a mirror and say yourself loudly that you love yourself, you are a good person, you are a confident person, - about 10 times every morning.
Hope this helps you. Thanks

Answer 6

Insecurity comes from something in our past that makes us feel like we put our foot in our mouth big time or maybe got depants in the middle of a soccer game either way people don't remember things forever and u might still make a fool of yourself some day but don't let it keep u from being yourself if ya get out there and make an *** of yourself make light of it and everyone will ignore it ten times more but if you get out there and make an *** of yourself and run scared they will exaggerate it more so just have fun meet new people and be your self it will all work out i promise. Nothing should embarrass you so much that it is what your life revolves around. GOOD LUCK!!!

Answer 7

Try confronting the person who you think you have upset or done something wrong to. You will find that probably what you have done is not so bad at all. Good friends who you can trust will help you.

Trusting people in any friendship and in line helps to get rid of insecurities.

I have suffered from insecurities in the past so I hope my advice helps.

Answer 8

by being adveturous more and more, then the more you do it the more chance you have got of doing succesful things. Dont get me wrong there will be the bad too, but your confidence will grow with the good and the re-assuring.

And NEVER forget that EVERYONE has their own insecuirities....i used to feel this way and overcome it to be full of confidence now, but even at night i cant sleep because of thinking about where i went wrong, only no-one knows that!

Dont worry I am sure you will flower in time.

Answer 9

First of all, you need to lift yourself esteem. You need to learn how to love yourself and accept yourself just how you are. Go to a good Library and look for Self esteem books. There are many good authors available. Buy several and start reading. You also may try to do some exercises. Try to make new friends. Listen to good music, practice yoga, etc. And finally, you can go to a good Psychologist. Good Luck!

Answer 10

We all go through phases like this, when no matter what, we feel that we're going to screw up royally somehow.

You can beat it, and the best help is what you've already discovered through this site. talking to someone about it, obtaining solid, positive reassurances from your peers, from strangers, that boost your self esteem.

Your life can be wonderful. Just take the bold first step and talk to someone local to you. You'd be amazed how much a sympathetic ear can help you.

Good luck.