ok, so my boyfriend of 2 years broke up w/ me about 3 months ago & I am still upset about it. Some days I hate him & other days I miss him & want him back. When he broke up w/ me he said @ first it was because I was possessive and then he told me he just wanted to be single for awhile. Well two weeks later he starts dating a girl who is 15 (he is 17) & she lives 3 hours away. And they only had met once before they started dating. I don't know what to do anymore. Ive been depressed for awhile & it feels like I will never get over it. Then school is going to start in less then a month and Im really scared to see him because I haven't seen him all summer and I loved it but Im afraid when I see him @ school Im going to get upset and the progress I had made will be gone. I just feel like noone would want to date me. I should just be patient, 3 months isn't really that long of a time right? Do you think that his relationship is just a rebound? What should I do?
2006-08-09 02:59:34 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Find a new bf.
2006-08-09 03:05:19 · answer #1 · answered by Dr Dee 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've heard that it takes half of the total time you dated someone to get over them. In your case, that would be a year. I hope that it won't take you that long because that sounds a little unhealthy.
I know what you're going through. The post-breakup phase happens in stages. It's healthy to take your time getting over him before moving on and putting yourself back in the dating pool. You must grieve the relationship lost before finding a new one. It's all part of the process...
The thing I always to is make a list of the things I didn't like about the guy and run through the list over and over. It reminds me of all of the (annoying, hurtful, disgusting) things that I will no longer have to put up with...Reviewing the list every time I start to miss him makes me miss him a little less each time until I quit thinking about him altogether.
You have a fresh start. Wipe the slate clean and prepare yourself for the new school year. Get a makeover (new hairstyle or color). Start the year with confidence and style. Keep your friends close (you're probably going to need them...). Getting involved in school activities and getting all of your homework and studying done will leave less time for thinking about Mr. Ex.
I say leave him alone. If he didn't realize what he had when you were together, he doesn't deserve you...
Stay strong, this too will pass.
Good luck. I hope this helps....
2006-08-09 03:15:27 · answer #2 · answered by Sara 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not worry about him, worry about making your life as awesome as it can be without him. That means going out and filling up your time with other things, with people who want to hang out with you. Try to make new friends in school this year. Enjoy being single, do what _you_ want to do. Then you can reflect on all the things you've done and can be proud of who you are. If you start feeling upset, channel the emotion into something useful, like learning a new hobby (preferably something physical, so you will get the endorphins flowing, you'll sleep easier at night, and you'll be more fit overall).
More people will want to date you, have no doubt, but only if you are someone who is over her last boyfriend.
2006-08-09 03:08:36 · answer #3 · answered by 006 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not to sound mean, but you should just get on with your life. It won't be the last time your heart gets broken. Try and keep really busy so you don't have time to dwell on it. Take up a new hobby or hobbies, try to learn a new language, volunteer your time to help out somewhere...the busier you keep yourself, the less time you'll have to think about him. Give yourself a day or two to finish your mourning of the relationship, give thanks for any lessons learned and move forward. Most men (or women for that matter) aren't worth crying over. The ones that ARE worth it, won't make you cry. You are a unique and wonderful human being on your own - you don't need anyone to complete you. When you see him again just smile, say hi, and walk away.
2006-08-09 03:06:15 · answer #4 · answered by They call me ... Trixie. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem with your situation is you are trying to make sense of why he did what he did. Whether or not he is with this other girl off of the rebound is something you may never know. The point is he is not with you anymore. I would suggest spending more time with your friends or maybe get a job. The key is keeping your mind on other things besides him. You really should be glad that he broke it off with instead of being with this other girl behind your back. Keep your head up and good luck.
2006-08-09 03:07:41 · answer #5 · answered by Right_Stuff66 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it takes time to get over someone you really loved . it took a year for me, I still wont be in a relationship and am still afraid to let anyone get close still but I think I'm finally over him. I still see him as friends, for about 10 months it was hard I would be upset and cry after he left or after we talked on the phone.wishing he would just come home to stay. it'll get easier, sometimes a new relationship is a rebound, just try to have fun, when you see him at school just smile and say hi. act like your fine , be strong ,you can still wish he would come back . I felt that being friends is better than not having him in my life at all. you can still love someone but not be in love with them. you can't be possessive or controlling in a relationship it'll just chase the other one off. theres nothing you can do only time can do it .meanwhile hang with yr friends / family they help with the loneliness, try to do things to keep your mind off him.
2006-08-09 03:31:56 · answer #6 · answered by smurfette_ftwayne 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he broke up with you, he has his reason to. you just have to move on with your life, and work on who you are and get to know more about yourself, and when you see him at school, just pretend that you don't know him. Give it some time and you'll get over it in no time. I mean the longer you're with the person the harder the break up is, and the pain would be greater. 2 years of dating and then broke up, that's a few months of pain. So, when you go back to school hang around with your friends, forget about him and just go out with your friends on the weekend and have fun, they'll make you feel better and positive about yourself, so you'll be ready for the next relationship.
2006-08-09 03:09:36 · answer #7 · answered by superboredom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
youre much to young to fret over this kind of stuff. enjoy yourself.!enjoy your time with friends! i really doubt he's on the rebound, because after 2 years of being with you, and finding someone that quick, it sounds as if y'all relationship had been on the rocks for sometime, that he probably had someone in mind and had been planning on leaving you. we've all been there, and we're all still here. it's part of growing up. you have to go through pain like this to prepare you for the future. now since school is about to start, give it time, and you'll meet someone else. that is what is great about school, there's alot of fish out there, just toss your line, and you're bound to meet someone new. seriously though, don't get caught up in a realtionship right now. at least not one so serious. go out with friends and enjoy you young life, there will be plenty of time for love when you're ready to settle down. one more thing, please DO NOT take him back. if he comes crawling back, send him packing. he didn't care about your feelings, he left for somebody else, this was no mistake (is that is the excuse he is to use). go on with your life. "what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger." good luck.
2006-08-09 03:10:57 · answer #8 · answered by bizarrorigo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hang in there, girl. I had almost the same thing happen to me. It takes time, but I know for a fact that a broken heart CAN heal. If he broke up with you for that stupid of a reason, he's probably not worth your time anyway. I don't know if you're old enough to go clubbing, but just going out and seeing all the guys out there really helps. You deserve the best. Don't sell yourself short. You can get any guy you want! Just be confident and believe in yourself. Haha, that sounds cheezy, but I'm serious. Just go out there and strut your stuff and guys will fall in love with your sexy, confident attitude!
2006-08-09 03:07:05 · answer #9 · answered by twinklebean85 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that you should think about moving on with your life. he apparently has and you need to start looking around too.
just because it feels like the end of the world right now doesnt mean that another guy is right around the corner who will make you a lot happier than the original one.
figure out what makes you happy and who you are and what you want. concentrate on you right now and when school starts, youll have your friends and if there is a problem with the ex, then just ignore him for a while and see what happens.
2006-08-09 03:06:41 · answer #10 · answered by lodeemae 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
MOVE ON!!!! his not the only man in the world.... if you broke up it just means that you're not really for each other.. don't worry much, 'cos if you are destined to be together time will get you both in the same boat! now just ignore your feelings, try to think if who has the problem w/c caused you to break-up then if it's your fault try to face the consequence but if not yours then be happy that atleast you've been a good girlfriend to him and it's his lost. it's just about your mind that's making it hard for you to move on. focus on something better. and try not to often talk about that topic, try maybe to have or meet new friends,companion or get on a good-hobby. you can do it girl I BELIEVE IN YOU
2006-08-09 03:08:25 · answer #11 · answered by destroyed_11 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋