We've been dating for five months now and we've been doing well, but lately his communication has been very poor, when i tried to find out, i was told by one of his workmates he's got problems at work. i understand the situation but he seems and sound so low even when i call him.He thinks i dont know and dont want him to know i have a clue, what can i do to lighten him up and make him happy without him suspecting i know and my intention, i love him so much. Plse give me suggestions. Thanks.
2006-08-09 02:06:58 · 12 answers · asked by kiss me. 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If only more people were like you.
If your partner is having problems at work, he may not want to shed his problems on to you because his pride is getting in the way. For many men (myself included) it is important to be able to 'provide' income etc and contribute materially in a relationship. (I know this may sound shallow! Sorry.) When our ability to do so is threatened i.e. work problems, we can become dis-interested and begin to feel inadequate in a relationship. I went through a similar thing, but my wife left me, the relationship ended in divorce and I suffered a serious illness as a result. I know that you want to offer him support and I'm sure he appreciates this, although he may not say it. Problems like this either sort themselves out given time, or, as in my case, fall apart and end in a huge mess.
I know money is always an issue with most people, but my suggestion would be to go on holiday and have a change of scenery. May be the experience will refresh your minds and help you focus on the situation better. Best wishes.
2006-08-09 02:32:33 · answer #1 · answered by Fragile Rock 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a classic male/female communications scenario. As a woman you are naturally attempting to improve his situation as you see this as making investment in the relationship and you want him to be happy so you will also feel good.
A typical male response to a woman's attempts to heal and improve is to react with hostility however. He will see any attempt by you to help with his work problems as unwanted interferance and he will also think that YOU think he is not capable of looking after himself. A massive blow to the fragile male ego.
The BEST thing you can do is give him space, not intrude on his problem but make sure to give him lots of approval in all other areas. Don't try to advice him, just show that you admire him, adore him and trust him. Show him verbally and show him physically. Like it or not....sex for most men equals female approval which is what we all need from the moment we leave our mother's womb. The moment he feels you don't approve of him he will turn hostile.
Viking xxx
2006-08-09 10:24:12 · answer #2 · answered by Viking 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Advise your man to have more luncheons in the pub, join him there if you can. Don't let him come home from work all the same all the time either - meet him in a restaurant in town straight after work instead, for example. Or have a quick dinner ready (no all-day cooking, you're not a slave) and then go for a walk with him, or think of other things.
What I mean to say is that if you can, you should try to liven up his life outside work if you can - it will work wonders when he gets back to work, feeling more energetic and less bothered, with building anticipation of coming home to you.
2006-08-09 09:22:22 · answer #3 · answered by McAtterie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all - hats off to you for being a top girlfriend!!!!
Right maybe cook him a gorgeous meal followed by a nice stroll somewhere really quiet like along a beach or something and sit him down - explain to him that you realise something is wrong with him and you're worried about him - tell him that you would confide in him over ANY problems you may have and you hope he'd do the same for you - stress that you wont consider him less of a man for opening up - and then if he does, help him - he needs your support now more than ever and I think hes very lucky to have you!
Best of luck babes
2006-08-09 09:13:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He might have a case of depression setting in, and don't think that it has anything to do with you. It just might be that his chemical make up in his brain is causing him to act this way. If he has been having issues with work as well as his personal life he might want to go talk with a consular or even a doctor who might be able to prescribe some medication that he can get on that would help him get back to the person that he is.
2006-08-09 09:21:57 · answer #5 · answered by Duece 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, set out some surprises? Like dinner? Movies? or just do something which you know he likes it, just to take his mind off the work. Sometimes, guys do need time off from work, and I'm sure he will appreciate that you care for him and be there for him in his dark hours in work.
2006-08-09 09:18:14 · answer #6 · answered by Gaby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All you can do is be there for him when he is ready to tell you. Do not put pressure on him or he will move far way from you then your relationship will go down a dark tunnel & never come back
2006-08-09 09:38:58 · answer #7 · answered by scarlet pimpernell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have dinner ready when he gets home from work and only be wearing a cooking apron. It will excite him and put him into a better mood.
2006-08-09 09:14:39 · answer #8 · answered by jmthomb 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him what is wrong and he might share with you. Tell him he can talk to you about anything at all even problems.
2006-08-09 09:13:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
find out what the problem is and be a secret santa he dont have to know were its coming from.
2006-08-09 09:11:12 · answer #10 · answered by mega_2424 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋