Should i let my nephew suffer with is mom?

Question

My sister claims to love her son and puts him first but the only thing in her menu is her b/f which they fight constantly. In the meantime my nephew suffers and became attached to me and my mom. So me and my mom (when she can) does everything for him from the time he wakes up in the moring untill the time he goes to sleep. Everyone always thinks he's my kid cuz they see me always taking care of him. All she does is by him name brand cloths and food sometimes. She always out either doing something or with her b/f or his family. She rather be wit her b/f family than wit her own. Now I don't want my nephew to be so attached to me cuz when he calls anyone else mom she gets mad and hit him. But instead of watchin him and spend time with him she puts him in front of the tv while she go handle herslef. I'm so sick of it my friends always fight wit me cuz I never have time for them I'm always minding a kid that's not mine. But how do I make my sister take care of my him w/o him havin to suffer

Answer 1

You can not "make" your sister be a good parent, sorry to say.
However, your nephew is blessed to have you and your mom. The best thing you guys can do is continue to see to it that he is loves and cared for.

if you can not and feel that he is neglected--the only thing you can do is involve social services but that would be a last resort because once you involve them--the kid suffers even more.

Just keep loving him --have a good talk with your sister but leave it at that.
God will bless your efforts.

Answer 2

How old is this child, how old are you and your sister? how are the living arrangements, do all of you live in the same home?
Does your sister have a job? Does she do drugs or drink often?
There is a serious problem here and it needs to be dealt with, NOW.
If you are in a situation where you cannot be responsible for your nephew, then you do need to call child services and file a report of neglect.
Because she is neglecting him.
If you can care for the needs of our nephew then file for guardianship with the courts.
Your sister has no right to hit this child if he calls someone else mom, he is only relating the term mom to female care giver. He knows who his mom is, but cannot relate to her.. this is the mothers fault not his. He is only communicating the best he can.
I am 38 and have 2 teens of my own, but I have raised 2 other children that were my blood kin and now I am raising 2 toddlers that are blood kin.
Not many people can do this kind of job, raising others children. I m thankful that I can.
It is a huge responsibility and it is not easy to do..
You need to step up to your sister and give her ultimatums to care for her child or to give him to you or the father if he is an appropriate person to have him. there is also foster care, but that should be the last resort if not at all.
Have a family meeting to discuss the options that is best suited for the child. And try to push your sister into some type of councelling and parenting classes, she needs help herself.
Don't delay, this kind of thing only gets worse as time goes by and it allows the should of's to take you over.
Ask yourself one thing, do you want to do this?
If your heart is telling you to do something, then act on it soon as possible.
Don't let this child suffer because of your sisters stupidity, she is being a horrible mother!
I hope you find some answers soon and good luck to you.

Answer 3

I don't know the whole situation but your nephew is your sisters responsibility she is his mother, and if she doesn't like that then she should of thought about that before she had a child. Being a mother myself it's hard for me to hear when someone thinks they don't have time for there children. Because no matter what you make time for your children, your child should always come before anyone else in your life expecially a boyfriend. No man is worth putting your childs life on hold for,children need there parents not relatives that are forced to be stand in parents. I'm happy that he has you and your mother but there's a time when your sister has to wake up and see that she's a mother and she needs to start acting like one. I think the person that is being hurt the most by this is your nephew. It's not good for him not to have a good positive relationship with his mother. I would say that you and your mother should sit your sister down and explain to her that it was her decision to have her son and a child isn't something you can throw expensive clothes at and sit in front of the television and expect him to not be affected by this situation in a negitive way. But your sister isn't going to wake up until you and your mother open her eyes to the seriousness of the situation. It's not about your sister it's about her son and it's not your responsibility to raise her son it's hers. So I hope my advice is some what of the answer you were looking for.

Answer 4

You cant make your sister take care of him,it is unfortunate for the child that he has to go threw this but it happens a lot,spread out the love,it doesnt have to all fall on you if there are more family members that will all agree to just take an hour or so of their day to spend with him,this way he will know that he is loved,wanted and needed by many people.As for the hitting,tell your sister if she touches that child again you will knock her into next week,either that or report her to the proper authorities,there is absolutely no reason to hit a child,there are many other ways of correction.I would also suggest a parenting class to your sister,let her know how important her child is and the day she chose to become pregnant is the day she chose to devote her life to becoming a mother-good luck and all the best to the little boy

Answer 5

Proving neglect to child protective services will be difficult and that may end any relationship you have with your sister. She may take her nephew and leave, and then you will really worry about him. Or even worse, child services may take him. He may be in emotional danger (once again, you'll have to prove it), but it does not seem like he is in physical danger.

If you really want to help, talk to your sister and be specific. Congratulate her on providing clothes and food for him. Recognize to her that she should be able to still enjoy personal time to herself (overprotective moms who are always around do not make strong sons!). But in the next breath tell her that she should try to include time with him everyday. Let her set aside time to feed him dinner and give him a bath afterwards everyday and see where things go from there.

Also, it is not unusual for babies/toddlers to call everyone Mama or Dada that they are in close contact with. It takes a while for the language to develop to say Aunt Yourname or Uncle Whoever. I don't know how old your nephew is, but I know plenty of my nieces/nephews called me Mama when they were little, and they did not live with me.

Answer 6

you can ask your sister if she would let you adopt him that way she wont have to deal with her kid , or you can tell her that her son misses her because shes not around to take care of him..that would usually strike a mother where it hurts...it sounds like shes a young mother and isnt responsible to have a child yet...tell her to bring the boyfriend over so that her son and bf can play together and theyd be a happy family ..also make sure she feeds him everyday when hes hungry and everything , buying name brand clothing does nothing good for him because it seems all hed rather have is his mother not some clothes to make him feel appreciated. if this doesnt get sorted out soon enough it will leave emotional scars on him and it will make him hate his true mother get her to do something quick. oh yea , also forgot to suggest , ask her to take him along with her to the bf's parents etc. so that they all get to spend time together.

Answer 7

Quite a predicament you have there. If you're up to it gather information, video, witnesses and andything else you can and take her to court and file for temp or full custody. Maybe it will wake her up and she'll spend time with him and take care of him on her own and she'll realize her priorities. If not, then you will have started the process to giving your nephew a better caregiver.

Answer 8

sis, you have got to let that go. If you are in a position to do more than of course you should help. You should not take on any extra if you are struggling. The stress will kill you. That's her kid and eventually his morals will be screwed up too, just like hers... so help if you can. He needs to understand people are crazy and sometimes moms and dads are no exception. But instill in him the values of life and the fruits of labor.

Answer 9

How old is your sister? Your sister lives with you and her child correct? She doesn't bother caring for her child because she doesn't have too. You do it. Your sister needs to grow up.

You are young, he isn't your responsibility he is your sisters. Your Mother should do something about this situation not you. She should make your sister take care of him or take matters in her own hands and take legal control of him. This might wake your sister up. She isn't caring for her responsibilities because she has it too easy.

Answer 10

your sister thinks only of herself and not her son. she mostly likely wont change and her son will suffer. you are doing the right thing by helping him because he really has nobody else. the only thing you can really do is to stand up to your sister and tell her to be a mother to him or you will take legal action against her. tell her you will get custody of him and she will have to pay child support and see how fast her actions change. as for your friends tell them this child needs love first and accept it or get new friends. its not his fault.