Cancer and dating....?

Question

Does anyone know of any dating sites for cancer patients? I've been doing the online thing and have been up front about being in remission but I think it scares people off. Some say not to tell people right off, but for me, I feel that its a big part of my life and I'm not going to do that to someone. I would want to know.

Answer 1

If you're a straight woman I wouldn't be scared off. Just keep being honest with people and eventually you'll find someone who isn't shallow.

http://personals.yahoo.com
http://www.match.com
http://www.cupid.com

Answer 2

HI,

A really great question.

I have cancer, in fact I have what the gov't calls "terminal cancer", but, I don't believe the gov't and the docs tell me I am doing great - so I KNOW I'm going to outlive all you guys.

When I was doing the on-line thing, I would wait till email "3 or 4" - get some chemestry going, see if there was a "spark" because, while it is a HUGE part of your life, it is NOT your entire life.

Gives the other person something to put on the "stay" side of the scale. If you tell to early, then they see only negative and they will not stay around.

Some will say that isn't very honest - but every one has baggage, this is just a different "type" of baggage. No one dumps all the baggage on the first couple of emails. But you need to be honest on this one earlier than other things.

So, after a couple of emails, if it looked like there was chemestry, II would have the "have something important to tell you" email - only subject, by itself.

would tell then, give them the websites and url's, was real honest (100% HONEST) about where I was and the prognosis.

And end the email with - "understand if you don't want to go down this path, I have a LOT to offer, but this life is not for some. At least be honest back and let me know either way, I will understand and that is better than just not knowing" thanks. will wait for your email."

Well,

I was about 50% in the "no thanks" and nmst would at least tell me "no" - had a few I never heard back from.

BUT, the ones that "stayed" were great; most of them had close friends or relatives that had gone through cancer and/or in
the heathcare field so it didn't bother them. They appreciated the honesty - especially since almost everyone had been out with some guys the were "very" not honest in the past (and they all were looking for honest)

Went on for a while (seemed like forever) then I met my match, my soulmate, and we have been together for 18 months and it is still wonderful [thank you, yahoo personals].

So keep trying; your person is out there.

Jewells
30 months and still here

(and I know everyone wants to know, so: www.myeloma.org)

Answer 3

Listen let's get real, I am sorry to say this I really hurts when you are on a date and you tell your date will I have Stage !A Renal Carcinoma, that next words are part of my right kidney has been removed but I am cancer Free, and that ends that. So I Could only imagine who painful, it is for a woman to say I had A double Mastectomy, or another type of Cancer. Well I will never accept this, or these reactions we the Cancer survivors can not set in a Corner and let the American Cancer Society or some phony Charity organization tell us how to live our lives. WE are entitled to love intimacy and to experience life and not be used as or defined by Cancer. JKC4554@ Yahoo.com

Answer 4

I need to vent to someone,i cant no longer hold this in,im a beautiful black 43 yrs old woman,i have breast cancer,my husband knew that before we got marry last year,this man cheat, and treat me like dirt,iim very out goin,i work hard,but sometimes I feel alone,hurt and I cry at night, I know somewhere out there theres a love just for me,,i cant lie sometimes I think who will want me like this? who will l ever love me and I have to deal with breast cancer,i have a lot of love to give,i don't look sick, and for the most part I don't even think about it, I live everyday I have left with a smile, I wanna go and get a divorce,but I feel like im between a rock and a wall, I made acommitment to God for my marriage,but he don't feel the same, I need some advice

Answer 5

I understand how hard this must be for you. Let me just tell you that I really feel for you and wish you the best. I'm not sure of any sites specific for cancer patients, but I think you should continue what you're doing. Being straight with the person is the best choice, and if they cannot handle it things would not have worked out.

Answer 6

I agree...

I mean you can not just keep to yourself, and then one day blurt it out.
I hope you do not get cancer again. I am sure you still get check ups? and I don't know about you but I always feel really nervous before mine.

Just keep what you are doing. If you don't mention it on the first date, and it leads to a 2nd, maybe you could say it then.

Good luck
God Bless

Answer 7

i dont know
but i really appreciate ur honesty