Should I be mad that after 2.5 years of dating my gf says that she does not want kids. i am 34 , she is 22. we are engaged and all this was clear when we got engaged. She keeps saying she does not want kids..yet. i do not want to **** up my life and end up with no family.i love kids and i want them with her.she refuses simply.she does not work, just wants to have fun and keep telling me there is time. Of course i am the one fincancing everything (including school for her). i feel i am getting screwed here and risk a lot.
2006-08-09 01:20:08 · 13 answers · asked by ca871boy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Don't force someone to become a mother,she's not ready !!!
2006-08-09 01:25:26 · answer #1 · answered by EL Big Ed 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tough one. When the will and decision of another person affects your life. Obviously you guys are moving in different stages of the life cycle. You want to settle and have a family stage. She is just starting adulthood. And may not have the maturity to handle the situation. To have kids also means problems. Remember when you were her age. Obviously there is a "mis match". I know you feel, either which way you lose. And it looks meaningless. Time is moreover not on your side. What can i say. Chinese have a saying, "Short term pain, better than long term pain". That depends What do you really want ? Whichever way, don't put your life on hold unless you are very very sure its worth it and you know what you are doing. Take time out. 1 month, 3 months..put a cut off date to make that decision. Get a friend, brother to talk to and hold steady your course. Then make the decision and never look back after that. Pray.
2006-08-09 02:13:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to face the fact that she may never be ready or at least not for a while. You are saying she is schooling which seems to me that she is looking for a career in any case prior to having a family. Nothing good will come out of pushing her for a child as she has made it clear she is not ready. There is a good distance in age between you which doesn't really matter but where you have had an extra 12years of partying she is still a little selfish, and by all means she is aloud to be. If you are so unhappy you may have to take a different path which does not include her.
2006-08-09 01:57:57 · answer #3 · answered by mermaiden_4_ever 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This situation goes so much deeper than your question. You too have so much to work on before you should even consider kids.
You're obviously at very different stages in your lives with very different expectations. For instance, why do you think that you would **** up your life if you ended up with no kids? If she isn't enough for you, then the reltationship is already doomed. If you have kids, don't you think that your financing everything is going to increase rapidly?
She's still in school. She can't do that and have your kids. You are being selfish and unfair to her. If you're just looking for a brood mare for your offspring, then let her go and get on with her life.
2006-08-10 09:04:19 · answer #4 · answered by No Drama 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You see... the thing is that women are the ones who take care of the kids 24/7. I have 2 children and my husband and I are trying for a 3rd. Kids are noisy, sometimes very demanding, and you have to give your every minutes' attention and love to them. Perhaps your girlfriend wants you to herself for a while. Enjoy the silence! Children are a blessing. You both need to be prepared for a life-long commitment. When you both are ready to have kids, you will be glad that you waited.
2006-08-09 02:04:31 · answer #5 · answered by Kristin 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-11-04 04:54:40 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She does not want kids respect that atleast shes not getting pregnant and getting abortion,as for rest of the things shes playing u along if u love stay with her if not leave since the child and her making u pay for everything are two different things!
2006-08-09 01:26:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
DO NOT force her to have kids!!!! If someone does not want to be a mother, and they are forced to..example would be "Have kids or we are breaking up"...they might agree to have kids, but be such a horrible parent that the kids will spend a lifetime in therapy. Also, at 22, it is not unusual for someone to not be ready for kids...she might change her mind when she is older.
2006-08-09 01:29:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO..COZ GF SHOULD'NT BECOME MOTHERS.....WIVES DO...
SO GET MARRIED FIRST......THATS THE WAY TO GO....
IT HAS ITS ADVANTAGE:
1)SHE IS YOUNGER THAN YOU...MAY BE THATS THE REASON.....SO IF SHE AGREES TO MARRY...THIS MEANS SHE IS LOYAL.....TRUSTS YOU...AND YOU NOT TIME PASS.....ALSO YOU BOTH WILL BE RESPONSIBLE TO ONE ANOTHER..
2)CHILDREN BORN AFTER MARRIAGE WILL BE LEGITIMATE..
..AND THEY WILL HAVE A CHANCE OF BETTER UPBRINGING......
PERSONALLY I THINK YOUR AGE DIFFERENCE IS TOO MUCH.........YOU ENJOYED TILL 34 AND WANT HER TO HAVE KIDS AT 22.....KIDS MEANS RESPONSIBILIIES WHICH LOOKS LIFE SHE DONT WANT......SHE HAS A POINT...BUT CHOICE YOU HVE TO MAKE.......I THINK YOU ALREADY 5-6 YRS LATE IN PLANNING A FAMILY...SO HURRY!!!!!!
ME THINK THAT FOR A HUMAN......
PARENTS AND CHILDREN=FAMILY= MOST PRECIOUS THING IN LIFE.......ACTUALLY NO FAMILY NO LIFE!!!
2006-08-09 02:37:57 · answer #9 · answered by METICULOUS 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The one thing that I don't recall you saying anything about,(you said that you were engaged to be married),could it be that she just wants to wait until you two are married before she has kids.You did say that she wanted them,she just might want to wait until she is married.
2006-08-09 02:25:53 · answer #10 · answered by SapphireB 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It looks to me as if she is using you and your to blind to see, or you do see very well and that is why your pressing her to have kids so she stays. if you don't have love and respect for each other don't bother with kids. (She is not ready to settle down yet and that is the truth.)
2006-08-09 01:30:47 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋