Do you believe in 'Spare the rod and spoil and your child' theory ?

Question

I see so many spoilt kids around, especially in Europe. Most parents don't believe in spanking their kids, not talking about belting them or caning them. But don't you think some form of discipline is necessary, cos most of the time kids are too young to understand if you try to reason with them. What is your opinion on that ?

Answer 1

I strongly believe if you spare the rod you spoil the child. That said, I don't have kids of my own. I agree that kids are getting more spoilt, what with parents doing the new-age reason with the kid deal. But you know what, that really only works some of the time. There are times you need to put your foot down, and there's nothing that says "I mean business" more than a quick spank sometimes. I think kids nowadays get away with so much more mischief, mostly because they know there is so little consequence to their bad behaviour. So what if mom's going to give me another lecture, there's no pain involved.

Answer 2

Up to a point, spanking with an open hand on the bottom is one thing, using a belt or cane is another and would not condone that. But one must be carefull how one disciplines a child, if they are too young to understand you reasoning with them, then spanking them is just going to confuse them if you are not consistant with discipline. Each parent has the right to discipline as child as they feel fit. Or not discipline at all.

Answer 3

I don't agree with "Spare the rod and spoil the child." Not hitting someone is not what causes spoiling. Yes, I believe discipline is necessary. No, I don't believe that should involve striking a child. Why is it okay to hit someone to make them behave a certain way just because they are small? We don't go smacking our crazy coworkers and nasty neighbors, do we? Then, why is that tolerable toward a child, especially ones who are not making mistakes to be defiant but because they are learning. We take for granted they should know things without consideration that it's the first or second time they've never experienced a particular situation before. Imagine what it would be like if you started a new job and your boss hit you or threatened to fire you while you were trying to learn your new responsibilities? That is exactly what some parents are doing when they hit or threaten their child for not knowing something BEFORE they've experienced it. Life is trial and error. It doesn't require depleting someone's self-esteem before they even have a chance of feeling safe in the world.

http://www.kidsource.com/kidsource/content/positive.discipline.html

Answer 4

Kids MUST have discipline or they feel lost. Parents do their kids an injustice by not disciplining because they don't have the comfort of knowing where their boundaries are and they WANT that. Parents think they should be their kids best friends and want to be liked so bad they forget what their job is. Teach and prepare you child to thrive in the world. That includes teaching them about rules and consequences. I have a 22 month old and he can be reasoned with and understands when I say "no" I mean it because I don't over use it and have taught him what the boundary of "no" entails. Sounds to me you will be a great parent someday. I don't think you have to spank to discipline.

Answer 5

as long as a the child is not physically injured an occasional smack or spanking should discourage any further or repeated misbehaviour.. Even little kids will learn soon enuff that getting smacked or spanked isn't a nice thing ..... just don't give in ...!!! If not, i find taking away certain privileges and making them do chores ( teenagers !!!) is a sure fire way of making them behave... After all , parents are responsible for their kids behaviour... Also, the more you spoil a child the harder they will adjust to real life when they grow up.

Answer 6

Okay first, I think you are reading that wrong.
It's supposed to be taken as, "if you spare the rod, then you spoil the child."
Yes, I do believe that theory when interpreted the correct way.

Me personally, I like to try reasoning with the children, if that doesn't work then actions will be taken to resolve the matter. Spanking, being grounded, whatever. It all matters on the age of the child.

Answer 7

I beleive that soemone who said that only said of sparing the rod!! I believe in using my language as a sharp punishment tool and occasionallu use my hands to my child. I was brought up in a joint family with quite a few children around and f my uncle was the controller of all. Occasionally someone will get a dose of his cane but that used to prevent others also doing such mistakes any more.My parents also spanked us rarely but that was for a justifiable social or physical cause. I used to dislike that but later on whenever I was about to repeat the mistake any time in my life, the old memories of spanking comes to my mind and deters me from repeating it.

Answer 8

I don't believe in spanking kids, but would not force my opinion on others ( I have friends who do). I think it shows them that just because you are bigger than them you win, its bullying.
Strong discipline is the only way to go, but it would appear that many parents do not have the stamina and patience to "beat" their kids at their own game. Also ignoring bad behaviour is not applied enough, kids just want attention good or bad, take that away and things will change.

Answer 9

I'm a believer in spankings. As you say, not beatings or whippings, of course. But, a good swift smack on the seat of the pants does wonders to get the kid's attention.

Kids aren't stupid; if they know the worst that can happen is being sent to their rooms (where their toys are!) or being talked to for five minutes, there's no incentive to stop being a young jacka$$. However, a kid will do anythng (even behave) to avoid being spanked.

Answer 10

I think if you don't spank your kids, you'll definately spoil them. I've seen lots of friends whose kids don't listen when they ask them to keep it down or to stop running around. All the parents do is just keep saying,'Please stop running around, or please don't make so much noise.' Or they just threaten the kids with, 'Later no tv for you.' But the kids know that it's just empty threats and they just continue messing up the place. The kids are a public nusiance. I'm frankly quite embarassed to be seen with kids like that.

I think if children know that they can run all over you. They will. Sometimes you have to put your foot down and give them a smack to let them know you are serious. After all you are the parent. They should listen to you.

But I guess it's ok if you can't bring yourself to spank your kids. But PLEASE at least teach them how to behave in public.