Why do parents have such a hard time accepting that their child is gay?

Question

I don't get it...Why would it matter to them? I wouldn't care that my kid was Homo or not!!

Answer 1

Probably because these parents feel disappointed and concerned. They may feel disappointed because their son or daughter won't have the life that they had dreamed of or expected (i.e., no traditional prom night, no traditional wedding, no children or grandchildren, etc.). They may feel concerned because they don't want their children to suffer the pain of the social stigma that accompanies homosexuality in most cultures, as well as the perceived increased risk of HIV/AIDS. Some parents are simply embarrassed about their child's sexual orientation, and unable to deal with their own biases and fears. Some parents are deeply religious, and for religious reasons cannot accept their child's sexual orientation. In some cultures, it is never socially acceptable and may even be illegal to engage in a homosexual relationship. Obviously, parents in those cultures would be particularly unwilling to accept that their child is gay. So, while most of us may be able to agree that parents should love their children regardless of their sexual orientation, many do not, and that is what makes it so difficult for young gay men and lesbian women to come out to their families.

Answer 2

Probably better. Not only are the children encouraged to share things about themselves but it brings the parents and their kids closer to eachother. I wish i was encouraged and told it was ok to be what i am at a more mallable age. I was told it was wrong and that it was a choice(who the hell chooses at age 7 to have a crush on the same sex school nurse when its supposedly wrong? I mean; is it a 'choice' to develope feelings for a partner of the opposite sex?). So, at 17, I ran away after I 'came out' that I am Bi to my parents(their reaction made me run). It would be best if children were encouraged to talk about stuff that's considered taboo, both good and bad about it. Explore the topics. And they should not face any fear of reprisal or punnishment/chastizement from parents if they give them a heads up about something the parents may not like. That way, mom and dad already know and at 16 or whatever; they dont have to fear telling their parents or fear what they might say or do-b/c its over and done with. Anyway, for the record, I do think ppl are born this way or that way. It is not a choice. It is just as profound as being born with blue or brown eyes.

Answer 3

I think that because parents want their children to have a safe and easy life the gay issue might be hard for some. Until society is more open-minded, it is still a more difficult life style in general.

Also, some parents want grandchildren. (people forget that many gay couples do have or adopt children).

Remember that most people come from a closed minded religious background with usually condemn homosexual relationship. Yet one, because of forced celibacy often actually encourages it unwittedly. Odd isn't it?

If a parent truly loves their child - their sexuality doesn't matter.

Just keep in mind - parents are not perfect and besides wanting their children to be happy they themselves are not perfect and often cannot accept that which is differnt.

Be happy and your parents will accept your choice in time.

Answer 4

me either...I dont know....depends on the parent whether they are strict or open-minded. i think its the fact that parents always have a vision of how their children are going to be when they grow up. They always see them getting married and having children. Of course gay people can do that too. But alot of parents picture a big wedding and lots of grandchildren. Probably some of them feel ashamed because their children are different, which in some cases are good.

Answer 5

hi,dear.it is difficult 4 d parents 2 accept dat there kid is gay,b'coz they hv 2 face the society.n aftr al they r ur parents they always wanted u as others are.do u get it,
And one more thing,u said"i wud'nt care if ur kid was homo or not" remenber this when u hv a kid n he's homo.mayb u'll not feel bad coz u were the same..thing be4 u write anthing abt ur parents..
neways bye and take care.

Answer 6

They call it Free Will. You have the free will to be gay. They have the free will to hate it.... I dont think its the fact they dont accept it, it may be an ignorance issue. They may think you are confused or dont know what your talking about. Sit down and have a talk with them..if that is too stressfull write them a letter and send it through the mail to them. I did that when I had an issue w/my mom; she responded with a letter throught the mail. In letters you get to respond honestly with out fear of being rejected or humiliated. Seems to be honesty in the words.

Good luck!

Answer 7

Lacking any scientific evidence for the biological predisposition towards homosexuality, many parents begin to feel as though they failed in same way -- too strict, not strict enough, or some other rationalization.

It is, I would argue, a poverty to divorce yourself from your own child simply because they have different sexual preferences.

Answer 8

If I had children that were "gay" I would still love them. My neice is gay and all my family are 100% for her happiness, She did have many boyfriends growing up, but she always seemed to pick the rotten ones, the last guy was just that.... the last one!!

Answer 9

I don't know, as a parent, I just want my child to be happy and safe and live a life fulfilled.

Answer 10

I respect all people's sexual preferences, and if everyone did the same we would live in a much better society.

It doesn't matter to me what you're into.