Am I BiPolar?

Question

I am 17, and mentally I am a wreck. I have been depressed for years, I feel lost in my head, lethargic, sometimes moody, insecure, mostly feel miserable and my moods go back and forth throughout the day, talk to myself, socially isolated from the world, pretend I am other people, etc. One minute my mood's pretty good, next minute, something might trigger me and I might be suicidal or feel so worthless and want to die, etc. I find myself becoming more isolated to where I lock the doors from my parents and it makes me feel more secure, for no reason whatsoever. It seems I wake up so often fatigued throughout most of the day, lethargic, and then late at night, I gain ton of energy, pace the floors, feeling creative and I can't sleep and am up all night, full of ideas... then suddenly I get exhausted and feel mentally drained. Sometimes I can feel both fatigued and energized at the same time, if it makes sense. I'm a musician, self-taught, and it's about the only thing I can do well.

I know the common answer is to see someone, but I am truly afraid. But your opinions are greatly appreciated. Thanks.

Answer 1

Thought someone had stole my story and posted it for a second there. Change that to being age 30 and it sounds eerily familiar. I began having mood swings at 30 that could flip-flop from up to down within a day. This continued for several years then it got to be a little pattern, 5 days of feeling extremely high, 2 days of doom and despair. Then either I didn't need sleep, or couldn't stay awake. Soon I was either the happiest person on earth or I wanted to die. I knew I needed help, but there was never a day that I was stable enough to go--how could I go when I felt euphoria and say there was something wrong, or go when I was too depressed to even leave my bed? This went on for several years until it affected my new marriage and my job, both of which were the dearest things in my life. Eventually, my husband and employers had enough and I knew if I didn't do something, I'd be single and homeless. I was very afraid too, of what I'm not sure, and had gotten used to this roller-coaster life. I made excuses and after a while the illness grew and grew and I couldn't handle myself rationally anymore and I would get violent. I used to be a mouse and one day I busted a door down in my house! The local police department knew me. Trust me, if you don't get professional help now to have an assessment done to see if you really are bipolar or not, it will be worse than living like you are now. If you are, then there is help to make your life worth living for. If you aren't, then you can get rid of that worry and work on other issues. You'll never know unless you take that step to find out. For me, it took several times to get different opinions because it's not so cut and dry to diagnose and I wanted to make sure. That was 14 years ago and I'm still happily married to the same husband, I take my medication and see my doctor regularly and aren't afraid of my life anymore. Even when I get into difficult situations as everybody does, I can maintain my rationality and work it out like a mature adult. Good luck to you. :)

Answer 2

Pathologisation isn't always the best and only answer to distress - it is a sad and chaotic world sometimes and it's no wonder that you should feel like this - but you need to feel better. Yes, do go to see your doctor - it helped me to do this and good treatment could get you onto a more even keel - but bear it in mind, whether or not you are given a diagnosis of bipolar disorder, that many creative people have the feelings you have described and 'bipolarity' is just one way of looking at it. 17 is pretty young and life can be particularly crappy at your age, when you don't have very much power over how you want to live. I wouldn't say you're a mental wreck; you seem articulate, perceptive and honest in your question. Have you read 'The Catcher In The Rye'? Have you read 'Hamlet'?? I'm quite serious, they are a great comfort. Congratulations for teaching yourself music - keep it up. Bring your sensitivity into your music. It's good to do one thing well.

Answer 3

I know you don't want to hear the common answer of seeing a doctor, but just exactly what are you worried about??? If you are worried about what is wrong the only way to properly diagnosed is to see one. If you do have it there are medicines that can help. If you do have it things will only get worse for you your family and friends if not treated. If you find you don't have it then the doctor will be able to find out what is wrong and ease your mind. I know becaus I have been there. It is wirth seeing a professional. Not a thing said here cn help only a professional can help.....much luck to you

Answer 4

i can so relate to you... kindren spirits...


i'm 17 too by the way...


here's the deal: the main difference between bi polar disorder and simple hormonal mood swings is the duration of time they take place. as you;ve said, the swing takes place within a single day, in that small amount of time, i wouldn't "diagnose" you as bi-polar. Being bipolar or being manic-depressive means that your the swings usually take place for days, weeks or even months. for example, this week you are in the manic state, next time you are in the depressive state. usually, you are unaware of what is happening in the other state. you should have less control of your body... you still have that control i guess.

so, in your case, i would say that you're not bipolar... not yet...

Answer 5

i'm the same bro. i know how difficult it can be to go see somebody about it. i'm 25 and i exhibit the same traits as u. they seem to get worse with age too btw. if i see a doc i can just imagine wat he/she will say and i'll end up frustrated with no help or feel like an idiot coz they'll tell me i'm fine or some b ullshit like that when i know i'm NOT fine. I guess go see someone, i live in Aust and i think the average GP is not the person to see. If the U.S has specialised Dr.s in diagnosis of Bi-polar go see one of them. I'm even wary of the average Psych coz they might misdiagnose. To me u exhibit all the signs of text book bi-polar. Good luck man. I feel for u buddy.

Answer 6

you exhibit all the signs of bipolar disorder.( I have it too and am getting treated for it) My moods change very frequently. your story sounds just like mine, except I'm 23. you really need to talk to a psychologist/psychiatrist about your issue. If you go untreated, its going to get worse. Medicine does help, but it takes a lot of trial and error to find the right one a lot of the time.good luck.

Answer 7

Don't be afraid. You sound depressed as well as possibly bi-polar. Both conditions can be treated with medication.

Answer 8

May be

Answer 9

this is very serious - i had TLE (bipolar also) - now healed. You have to take care of this - life can be very different, go to the dr, and neuologist. Depro and bipolar disorder goes hand in hand.
Take action now, please ?

Answer 10

finally a brotheren! im me or email me
talk to me!!!!!!!!! sooooooooo lonley in this dark room