Would it be wrong...?

Question

I want to adopt a child (not just yet), but I'd like to adopt a child who had been forced into prostitution by their so called "carers". Given the choice, I'd want to adopt a girl, because I feel that I am more able to care for a girl than a boy, but I would be more than happy to adopt a boy. Does that sound wrong?

I know my reasons for adopting a child are not "perverted", because children growing up like this need to be shown just how children should grow up, not how sick adults can be.

Before anyone says anything, this is my PREFERRED option, I know that I can adopt children from other areas. It's just that, I feel these need more care than others. It that wrong?

Answer 1

I applaud your desire to help children in need of warm and family environments.

I don't see anything wrong with wanting to be specific with regards to who you want to adopt and from what background they hail from. However, do realize that the older a child is upon adoption and the more "hell" they've been through, the more work it will take on your part to help them to heal and recover.

Answer 2

Your intentions are noble but you must understand that children who are this damaged require a lot of time and attention and will have a greater impact on your life than anything you have previously known. This is not like getting a stray puppy

The question is are you equipped, emotionally and mentally to be able to offer a child who has deep emotional problems everything they need? They will have challenging behaviour and will demand all of your time.

If you have a partner you should also speak to them about it, if you are single, then think how this will effect your life. You can not have an unstable life with unstable relationships when you are responsible for a child who has special emotional requirements.

I would suggest that you contact adoption and fostering services, they will evaluate in their procedures whether you are a suitable candidate to be a carer of children with incredibly complex needs.

I would say that you would at least need a professional qualification or MANY years experience of parenting in order to even consider something like you suggest.

Perhaps you should start with something smaller like becoming a volunteer at your local children's home, this will give you the benefit of feeling like you are giving something back to societys most vunerable while at the same time learning and developing skills which may one day make you a very able foster parent.

Good luck to you

S
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Answer 3

How good to feel your love and concern come through this question, but I wonder, have you studied in child psychology to help ensure you are successful in adopting a child with the problems you will encounter? I think you will be in a better position to do so. I know nothing about adoption laws, but the more you know the better chance you have in helping the child.

I don't understand why you feel you are more able to care for a girl than a boy (even though you say you would be willing to adopt a boy), I think you need to try and find out why you feel this, could it be that you have issues within yourself that you need to sort out and somehow a girl child will help in this way ( I mean mentally), I wish I could explain myself better.

What is it that makes you feel you can help a girl child better than a boy.

I wish you luck though.

Answer 4

I think that you need to research this area fully before you go ahead and adopt a child with this background. You can not forget that you are also adopting alot of problem and baggage not just the child. You may find that the child can only show you affection in a sexual manner as this is all that they have known. You may also find that a girl may be fightened of men. It would be alot of hard work but if you feel your up to it then go for it. Everybody no matter what their background needs love and protection.

Answer 5

No not atoll, i take it you have strong feelings about children being forced into unacceptable situations in life. I think that you should go with what you decide because it sounds like you would be an excellent parent. Hope you find what you are looking for & bring happiness to the child that you decide to adopt, good luck & all the best for the future.

Answer 6

No. It's actually nice. If you can give the child fatherly love and make so she lives a normal life you will be doing her a great favor. But you know, a child with a past like that will be very mistrusting of any man, esp. if she's meant to live alone with him, so maybe you should wait till after you are married, and then adopt.

Answer 7

if you are from britain you would not be allowed to adopt any child with a history of abuse. you would be thrown out at the screening stage unless you have adopted before, have a hisory of looking after children and most likely have a partner you are married to who has an equal amount of experience with children.

its unlikely that as a single male you would be allowed to adopt any type of child unless you are paying for one from a third world country

Answer 8

No, you are not wrong, your intentions are very commendable, but please realise that taking responsibility for a child as this will be no easy ride. He/she will no doubt have serious psychological issues for the rest of their lives. He/she may take an incredibly long time to show you any kind of respect or love, or have problems trying to express any kind of emotion/feeling. Dealing with the issues / attitudes of a child who has simply been adopted can be tough enough. Best of luck with whatever you decide!

Answer 9

if you're sincere and think you can handle it, then whatever child you would get would be very lucky. children from situations you described are not as adoptable as, for instance, babies from suburbia. if a child like that is fortunate enough to escape their terrible circumstances they are generally older and have emotional issues from the trauma they endured. many, if not most, get stuck in *the system* until they're old enough to fend for themselves. any person who is willing and able to accept the challenge of creating a good and loving home for such a child and welcomes them into their family deserves to be commended.

Answer 10

It sounds a little wrong mate, but I understand where you coming from. If you feel you can make a difference in a child's life, go for it. There are many kids who are trapped in the hellish underworld of life, if you can help just one escape, then it's been a good day.