its so hard?

Question

Hi iv had quite a few relationships and 3 serious ones.The problem is i find it hard to be faithful.theres only 1 lad that i aint cheated on.I dont mean i have slept with people behind all of the others backs,its either that or kiss someone.I was wit a lad for the last 2 months iv already kissed 3 ppl behind his bak.we split up and he wanted to get bak 2gether and i told him i didnt want to get bak wit him just yet.and coz im out for my birthday this week,he said is it coz u wanna go out and go with other people and i think it is.i went out with him last weekend and while he was at the toilet i was talkin to loads of lads askin them to come out next week.I just cant seem to find anyone that i realy like or that i can love apart from my ex boyfriend(where there is no going bak 2).I always start to pick faults wit people and they get on my nerves,so my eyes start wandering esewhere.whats the problem?will it always be like this?

p.s yes i have bin cheated on and it did hurt but i still cant help it.

andy2kbaker,no i aint fat and i aint unemployed and lads dont just wanna sleep wit me,they always want a relationship but i cant co im always already in 1.so f**k u

Answer 1

I know the feeling hun! basically the guys u have dated havent been right for u,as for ur ex who theres no going back to,we always want what we cant have.Im 29 & still playing the field seems like the guys who are offering me what I want Im not attracted to & the ones I like arent ready.my advice just go casual that way u can see 2 or 3 guys at once n it aint cheating,men do it all the time!! just tell them ur not ready for serious just see how it goes,u will soon realise which ones get on ur nerves.dont LOOK for mr right he dont exist,there is only mr alright & mr right now.

Answer 2

You don't say how hold you, but from the language you use, you sound quite young.

It sounds like that you've hit the self destruct button after splitting with the only person that you haven't cheated on... which is perfectly natural, but have some value for yourself... you do not need to sleep around to prove your worth and you will only end up doing the opposite.

Alcohol generally has a lot to answer for, so try easing up with the drinking which will help you see a little more clearly when meeting people for the first time, as you may uncover their "faults" a little earlier.

Answer 3

You seem to be the kind of person who just finds commitment difficult or that it's something that you just don't want at this point in your life.

There is no reason for you to think that things will always be this way because people develop personally, they change according to the things that touch them in life and the experiences that they have. We learn from all our experiences in life and adapt accordingly.

I think you must, be honest with both yourself and the people you enter relationships with. There is nothing positive to come from cheating on folk. You should explain quite honestly to those you become involved with from the start that you are not the kind of person who wants a deep and lasting relationship and that it must be casual. I would also suggest that you are sexually honest and if you are sleeping with more than one at the same time that they both be aware and CONSENTUAL of this situation. Hurt comes when people are dishonest. You can have what you want without resorting to dishonesty.

Lying to people diminishes your self respect. be empowered and honest with people as you would wish them to be honest with you.

Above all be safe and sexually responsible and you will be fine. You ask whether you will always be this way, the answer is probably no- but you may put your future into question should your current sexual habits lead you to contract an STI.

good luck and be well

S
x

Answer 4

I've been there MANY times and am currently in that situation. It simply means that there is something lacking in the relationship and that you want or need more even if you don't know what that is. Or it's that you always want more or you think that there will always be something better out there. I guess I would say. Just date. Nothing serious. This way you can have your cake and eat it to without feeling guilty.
I wish I had a straight answer for you, but then again if I did, I wouldn't be in the situation that I am in.
Good luck.

Answer 5

Don't worry there will come a time when you'll get tired of clubbing and getting rat-arsed every weekend. You'll want something more meaningful out of life than just a few laughs with the girls and crotch-grinding flirtations with the lads. That's when you'll be ready for a serious relationship.

And yes it is very hard. Relationships require a lot of work on both sides.

Alternatively you could just opt for being single and approach life as a long series of blasts...it's your call. I say give it time.

Answer 6

I hardly think kissing a few guys counts as cheating ... unless you were both naked and getting particularly aroused!

You need to relax, play the field a bit more - rather than settle for a "steady" relationship (or 3!) - and learn to write your questions in correct grammatical style with proper spelling and punctuation.

I think you just have a bit more growing up to do...

Answer 7

Yeah... but no but yeah, ...or somethin or nothing..... cos you know Sarah, yeah, well she said that michelle wants to see davids nopples....... or sumink...



You dont have a problem honey. You are just an iliterate, stupid ****, with no more morals than an alley cat .....

If its any good to you, boys only see you as an easy, guarateed screw and therefore have about as much respect for you as any other dumb animal.

As a wild guess, I would say you are still in your teens, fat and unemployed.

I am SO right.....

Hope this helps.

Answer 8

dont worry its all part of growing up! i didnt stop doing that till i was 31 when i met a girl out of the blue in a bar one lunchtime. i was a bit of a tart up till the point when i met her and was never faithful to anyone. I'm now married to that girl and have been with her for 7 years and have never even considered cheating. you'll meet the right person one day and he'll knock you off your feet and that will be that. but in the meantime have fun!

Answer 9

Very simple!! no not all , your situation seems to be queit common seen in other peoples too.who find hard keeping themselves faifthfull even being in the serious relations,but u know wat they rnt serious enuf to bonud u initself,u always try to get the best out of your relations but one fine day u realize that doing the unliked by other people wud gonna take you cloud no.9
take a serious watch on your steps in life wait untill the best guy arrives in and hey!!! enuf of kissing ,kiss the 1 you love and feel the eternity i mean it
Good luck !!!

Answer 10

Maybe you are lacking in self confidence and this is a way of making you feel good about your self. Let me tell you, it will only make you fell cheap and dirty in the long run. People will not trust you. You have to love your selfo before yoiu can expect to ,love anyone else.