Do you think that once a couple are over a certain age they should pay for their own weddings?

Answer 1

Yes, once you're well-established in life, career, etc, it makes sense to start paying for your own party. If the 'rents want to help, then take the money. But certainly don't expect it...

Answer 2

Definately, I think the idea of parents paying for their child's wedding is only valid if the child is still that - a child! Traditionally people have been married so young that they have not had an opportunity to get out and earn their own money yet, so the parents help.

Never before have so many people got married when they already own homes, cars, have children, etc. I think it's pretty sad, if people have grown up enough to get a good job and support themselves, then make the concious decision to get married and expect their parents to pay for it!

Apart from anything else, the most important thing is the reason behind the wedding - are they content to get married on their own budget or do they plan a hugely expensive wedding that they couldn't afford on their own and if so, how long will that last?!

If I had to put an age limit on it, I'd say perhaps 30 - some under 30 are still doted on by their parents to the extent that helping with wedding costs could be deemed reasonable. However, over 30 or under and earning a good salary, I think people should have enough conscience to pay for their own weddings. If they have to make do on a budget it'll be much more romantic, as they'll need to pull together as a pair and see what's really important. If they split up soon after, at least their parents savings won't have been wasted either!

Answer 3

Are you one of the parents or one half of the couple getting married. If you are a parent, you do not stipulate at what age it should be. 20, 25, over 30? Maybe you are expected to pay for it all but you can't afford it so you are coming up with excuses. Age has nothing to do with it. Parents will pay for all or part of a wedding if they wish, not because they think the happy couple are too old to be paid for. Are they too old for happiness in a relationship or does that only come to younger ones. If you can't afford it, then just tell them. I'm sure they will understand and they will just have to save harder.

I am 35 and getting married next year. I do not expect any money from either parents, but I must admit (going to be a bit selfish here) this will be my first marriage. My parents have literally thousands of pounds in their bank account, so I would be a little miffed if they didn't offer something. Even if it is just to pay for a DJ, or the buffet or something.

Answer 4

HI

OK first I don't really know what I think about this, but thinking of it I think that maybe mom and dad could help out put some money towards some of the most expensive things or maybe help to pay for a honey moon or something like that.

When my oldest sister got married mum and dad paid for everything but when it came round to Maria's turn they only paid for half of it had her husbands family paid for half of it, and when Carly got married (i have 6 sisters by the way) she paid for all her own and mom and dad booked her a honey moon and sent her on a cruise she was happy with that and had a really wonderful three weeks she spent 2 weeks cruising the Mediterranean and then one week with family and friends who still live in Sarasota so I guess that i depends on the family and people getting married really

Answer 5

Well when we got married (age 28) we made all of the arrangements and if the family wanted anything specifically (ie father in law wanted silver salt & pepper pots) then we said they could have it if they paid for it !!
That way they each got to add a little something and felt like they were helping when in fact we did all the planning and it was exactly the wedding we wanted.
I don't think it should be a question of age it is more a question of circumstance - my mum and dad were divorced and my dad remarried so I don't think he thought about having to pay for my wedding. Whereas my father in law wanted to pay for everything (but it would've had to have been done his way!). Mind you the father in law was grateful for our wedding when his daughter got married last year and it cost him £17,000+ !!!!!!!!
It is also a question of how traditional the parents are as well - you might put them in an awkward position if you expect them to pay for it, equally they might get hurt if you don't !
It is completely down to individual circumstance, and personal beliefs. If it's right for you then that's all that matters.

Answer 6

I think in this day and age marrying couples should pay for their own weddings. Parents then have the option of chipping in.

Couples today are far more solvent than their predecessors.

The other thing behind not letting parents pay is that they don't have such a big say in how the day is run and who is invited.

Answer 7

I do not think there is a certain age for you to pay for your own marriage. As custom prevails it is usually the lady's parents who foot the majority of the bill, and the groom's parents negotiate their lump.
I feel that marriage being the real honour and pride in a family's lifetime this should still be up to the arents to pay, as this is their goodbye present.
In other circumstances where there is not parental backup I feel the duty lies with the groom. But age has no certainties in the respect of payment of marriages.

Answer 8

I think all couples should pay for their own weddings with the parents of each side doing something each to contribute to their kids big day.

Answer 9

Most people do now anyway. I had to pay for my own wedding at the age of 20.

Answer 10

We paid for a lot of our wedding but both sets of parents wanted to help out and contribute - we were very grateful as it's an expensive time (especially if you're buying a house at the same time like we did!).