Why are men so emotionally stunted?

Question

don't get me wrong... this is not a man bashing question... I'm genuninely interested? Perhaps the one who knows may have some insight here... ?

Answer 1

Well, it's the same as saying "Why are women so emosionall about everything?"
Tell a woman she is putting on weight and she virtually cries.
It isn't that we are stunted, just that we don't tent to let little things upset us.
It is generally in the growing up. If a boy cries, hes rollocked and told to stop being a baby. If a girl the same age does it, shes hugged and comforted more.
It hardens boys.
If a littlee girl was treated the same way as a little boy, she would be hardened in the same way.
No offence intended.

Answer 2

It could stem from a lot of things. Some men feel (for lack of a better word) that feelings will lead the to a path of weakness, vulnerability, and sap their strength and self-image as a tough guy who is impervious to any pain or discomfort. Emotionally stunted me will not acknowledge that they have a feminine side for fear that they will suffer the same fate that I mentioned before. The feminine side in men (which absolutely fascinates me) allow them to understand better the feelings of women. When men deny it the end result is women who claim that men are not very high up on the evolutionary ladder of life.

It also could be how men are raised. Physically absent fathers while painful are not half as bad as emotionally absent fathers. The role models that men attach to are affected by this. The book by Robert Bly called Iron John can give a lot of insight into this.

It also could be that men marry their sweethearts instead of their dreams.

Ultimately, I think it has to do with vulnerability. I think that a lot of men like to take risks, but not in the realm of their feelings. A poet wrote, "better to have loved and lost than never to gave loved at all."

Answer 3

I think the simple answer is that if they happen to be under the age of 30 they probably haven't grown up. There are some who never grow up at all even when they are 70. This also can apply to women as can my comments below, but seem to be more easily apparent in men from a woman's point of view- sadly.

1: many men think with their penis. Once you understand this you understand men a lot better, there are some rare treasures who do it with their brain but these are generally less noisy and get noticed less than the ones who do it with their little fella

2: the younger types tend to think more about the opinion of their friends than they do about the opinion of their woman, and want acceptance and respect from other men rather than of the person they supposedly love. Plenty of women learn this the hard way.

3: many lack the ability to communicate and listen to other humans. This is a basic ability without which all relationships stand on shaky ground. Those who are able to are again, often ignored by women in favour of the louder brasher and more noticeable "penis-thinking" man

There are men in the world of all ages and descriptions who don't fall into this woefully common demographic. They are harder to find though because most of them are quieter, more sensible and possibly they will belong to somebody else.

Edited to add- yes it is true that people are a product of their environment in some respects. This however does not relinquish said person from personal responsibility and choice. There are plenty of people who have endured the most wretched upbringing imaginable who go on to have happy and healthy relationships because they choose to behave in a more positive manner.

hope this helps

S
x

Answer 4

While society has come a long way, we still do not allow little boys to fully express their emotions. How can a person be a fully emotional being when they are told at a very young age to be a man and not cry?

Having said that, I think it's important to point out that men and women are wired differently and express their feelings differently -- mean tend to be more physical.

And some of it is women's own fault -- after all we don't seem to be attracted to the perceptibly "weaker" men who show all of their feelings all of the time and cry (we call those mama's boys and wimps).

I think it must be a very fine line to walk being a man and hard to be strong and sensitive all the time.

Answer 5

That's so mean, you made me cry, boo hoo!

Actually, if you are really interested then you ought to look into cultural demands put on children.

Two lovely little experiments that may help you understand.

5 boys were dressed as girls and 5 girls dressed as boys, they were about 1 year old so they looked like the other sex. When the little girls dressed as boys were given o an adult to entertain, the adult immediately reached for trucks and action men from the toy table.
Likewise the boys dressed as girls were offered dolls and tea sets from the toy table.

The other experiment shows girls and boys dressed in snowsuitsand therefore sexless, the observers, not knowing who was a boy and who was a girl noted any aggressive behaviour.
The little girls were noted as being more aggressive as little boy rough and tumble was not seen as nuaghty.

We are how we are treated, if you want a more emotionally in tune little boy then cuddle more and talk more.
If you wan ta tougher girl thats more emotionally balanced, then rough play and a get on with it attitude are a must.

Vive the difference I say

Answer 6

I don't think all men are emotionally stunted. I think it has alot to do with where they are in life. I am 35, married, and I love my wife immensly, I make sure to tell her everyday! I can't wait to have kids and I feel comfortable now in my job and life. I think I am better prepared now to be more emotionally balanced. It wasn't always that way though. In my younger days I couldn't wait to bang anything that gave me the time of day, no emotional commitment needed! When I was younger it was all about quantity, not quality! Anyway, that's all changed for me now. I hope you find a good guy out there somewhere, I know we exist!

Answer 7

emotionally stunted?

men deal with problems differently than women, men are just not as emotional, this is due in part to society dictating that men are supposed to be tough and strong and real men don't cry and bla bla bla, while women on the other hand are supposed to be fragile and frail and dainty and cry alot and such.

after so many years of practicing this behavioral pattern men get accustomed to not being so emotional.

then there are some men that have had something happen to them that has shut down their meotions and they care little about anything anymore.

take your pick

Answer 8

I'm not a man, but I have accually met a few men that are sensitive, yet tough. They usually just have to really trust you before they will be willing to show any emotion. I guess this is the way they are brought up to believe they have to be MR. Macho all the time.

Answer 9

From the time we can talk we are told that its not ok to cry or show feelings. At 5 we fall down and start to cry and dad says "don't cry, you'll look like a sissy" usually because he doesn't like so see his child crying (noble motives, poor execution) When we are heartbroken in our teen years we are told "suck it up, act like a man" while we wallow in confusion and pain. I don't think that we are stunted, per se, just indoctrinated to always hide our feelings.

Answer 10

For me there's no such thing as emotionally stunted,maybe that guy is just afraid to face everything around the world....He needs to be motivated...
I guess if someone can help that guy to see how interesting and how beautiful the world is...maybe at that point he'll be abla to express what's inside his heart...t.c.