Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like, "You know, sometimes I just forget to eat." Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name, and my keys. But I've never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat.
A friend of mine confused her valium with her birth control pills. She had 14 kids, but she doesn't really care.
They keep telling us to get in touch with our bodies. Mine isn't all that communicative but I heard from it the other day after I said, "Body, how'd you like to go to the six o'clock class in vigorous toning?"
Clear as a bell my body said, "Listen witch... do it and die."
The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him.
I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are: eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That is my idea of a perfect day.
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.
Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.
Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain consciousness.
I gave up jogging for my health -- my thighs kept rubbing together and setting my pantyhose on fire.
Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks two sizes!
If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a noose around your neck?
2006-08-08 20:04:36 · 12 answers · asked by Dew Drop 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
This is great. If you're a stand-up comedian let me know where you perform so I can come see you. I have a clothes-shrinking closet too.
2006-08-08 20:10:04 · answer #1 · answered by Precious 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in the commencing up, if she's a random woman it extremely is particularly complicated to strike up a communication, you will in all hazard get her on the protecting and get nowhere... that is not reminiscent of indoors the videos... as properly the hassle-free actuality that no count if it extremely is wht you wanna do, bypass up, introduce your self then say some element like "i in all hazard appear like a creep, yet i felt compelled to return back and say hi" in a NON-cheesy way, this might help to diffuse the means "creepyness" & aspects her the alternative of keeping "yeah, top... piss off". purely don't be a slease and grant to purchase her a drink as quickly as you have a communication going... see what occurs
2016-11-04 04:42:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is true, people are sometimes too busy (or just too bored) to remember to eat. I forget to eat all the time. Maybe not forget, but sometimes it doesnt cross my mind because I'm busy with other things.
But, other than that you should do stand up or something. You got some good material for that.
2006-08-08 20:29:38 · answer #3 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Youre a friggin riot. Are you really coming up with these yourself? ...If so then you MUST be a comic. I'de come to see that.
Seriously, contact me through my 360 to send me more of those.. Ill go to yours if you have one. But you HAVE to have some of those thoughts posted.
Good stuff
2006-08-08 20:27:15 · answer #4 · answered by theenormusnorm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey u. if skinny ppl irritate u, tat's ur prob. i'm skinny 2. and i wanna bcome fatter. but tat dosent mean i hate all the fat ppl in the world k. so watch ur words.
2006-08-08 20:31:08 · answer #5 · answered by LYY 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I aint' wearing no neckties.
2006-08-08 20:26:40 · answer #6 · answered by Cool Z 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's true...i hear this kind of stuff every day...you should go into the comedy buisness.
2006-08-09 04:49:31 · answer #7 · answered by Leilei 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nice selection.
love the avatar too.
2006-08-08 20:10:56 · answer #8 · answered by shazam 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nice one love very funny i am at war with my bigger half too x
2006-08-09 02:25:44 · answer #9 · answered by toni ann l 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hehe funny stuff.
2006-08-08 20:11:22 · answer #10 · answered by theswarm666x 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋