i dont understand, theres this guy im really interested in, and he is like a couter part to me, i really care about him. but he has 3 kids, i want to have kids of my own too some day its not that i dont like kids, i actually love kids. but when i visit him i feel really akward an dont like it, i wont even leave the bedroom unless i have to. but i cant help feeling that way. but when we are alone being together its perfect.his kids are really nice. whats up with that?
2006-08-08 19:41:21 · 5 answers · asked by peeps you 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
like it or not the guy and his kids are a package deal, and his children should come first, before a girlfriend. They will always be a part of his life. Sounds like you should move on and find someone who is not a daddy.
2006-08-08 19:53:07 · answer #1 · answered by winkcat 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
In the same situation with a women with a son. It basically comes down to you are taking time away from them that they would normally spend with their father. With me, it would even get to the point that we would all be sitting in the car together or watching TV in complete silence and as soon as I would try to say something to my now fiancé, he would HAVE TO tell her something important. Some times he would be like "Mommy, Mommy, I have to tell you something......umm....oh I forgot".
What to do?? You can't do a thing but be there and support the relationship they have with their father. You will always be the outsider, I repeat - ALWAYS!! But that can also be an advantage for you as they grow up. There are a ton of books out there on Step-parenting. I'd pick one up, read it and then decide if you want to continue your relationship with this guy. I'd admit it, it is not always fun and not always perfect. And, it's not for everyone - it might not be for you. Don't discount talking to the father, talking to the kids about it - but this is a time that you really can't follow your heart and do what is right for everyone involved.
Good luck!!
2006-08-09 11:41:42 · answer #2 · answered by Nemo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, dating a guy with kids is just as hard as dating a girl with kids (i should know, i'm a girl with kids :) but it's totally understandable that getting into a relationship with children is odd. there is always that balance of "your" time and "their" time ~ if you really do like this guy, then you will have to eventually accept that the kids come with the package ~ my rule is that if a guy doesn't accept my kids, they're gone no matter how good our connection alone is. and just remember too, they're individual (little) people too, so maybe spending some time getting to know them without dad will help too? good luck!
2006-08-09 03:34:12 · answer #3 · answered by hello_beautiful_222 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I wont date a girl who has kids.
2006-08-09 02:47:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is you can't handle his kids get out now! It is unfair to him and his children if you don't.
2006-08-09 14:14:38 · answer #5 · answered by charlie's angel 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋