... It is Really Very Simple, Who Ever Tells Me the Funniest Joke Will Win the 'Best Answer'... and Recieve 10 Points!
2006-08-08 19:17:46 · 16 answers · asked by Kitty P 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Donald Rumsfeld is giving the President his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed." "OH NO!" the President yells. "That's terrible!" His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands. Finally, he looks up and asks, "Exactly how many is a brazillion?"
2006-08-08 19:24:07 · answer #1 · answered by Wink 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this is an old joke, but it's very funny
Three men lost in the forest were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told them that they could live if they passed a trial. The first step of the trial was to enter the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So, all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.
The first one came back and said, I brought ten apples. The king then explained, Next, you have to shove the fruits up your butt without so much as an expression on your face, or youll be eaten. The first apple went in, but on the second he winced in pain, and was killed.
The second one arrived, and showed the king ten berries. When the king explained the trial to him he thought to himself that this should be easy.
1...2....3....7...8 and on the ninth berry, he burst out in laughter, and was killed.
The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked, Why did you laugh? You almost got away with it!
The second one replied, I couldnt help it, I saw the third guy coming with 10 pineapples.
2006-08-09 02:26:53 · answer #2 · answered by Romeo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Birhtday Present ****
A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart's birthday and as they had not been dating very long, after careful consideration, he decided a pair of gloves would strike the right note - romantic but not too personal.
Accompanied by his sweetheart's younger sister, he went to Nordstrom's and bought a pair of white gloves. The sister purchased a of panties for herself. During the wrapping, the clerk mixed up the items and the sister got the gloves and the sweetheart got the panties.
Without checking the contents, the young man sealed the package and sent it to his sweetheart with the following note :
"I chose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of wearing any when we go out in the evening. If it had not been for your sister, I would have chosen the long ones with the buttons but she wears short ones that are easier to remove. These are a delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and they are hardly soiled. I try yours on for me and she looked really smart.
I wish I was there to put them on for you the first time as no doubt other hands will come in contact with them before I have a chance to see you again. When you take them off, remember to blow in them before putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing. Just think how many times I will kiss them during the coming year ! I hope you will wear them for me on Friday night."
All my love.
P.S. The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur showing.
2006-08-09 02:28:28 · answer #3 · answered by ettezzil 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
An old man was sitting on a bench at the mall. A young man walked up to the bench and sat down. He had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, blue and yellow. The old man just stared and stared. Every time the young man looked, the old man was staring. The young man finally said sarcastically, "What's the matter old timer, never done anything wild in your life?" Without batting an eye, the old man replied, "Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was wondering if you were my son...."
2006-08-09 03:58:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
A Panda enters a restaurant, he eats good food. Then takes gun out from his holster, shoots all over the place and leaves the restaurant. Soon he was brought 2 court and tried. To prove his innocence, he asked the judge 2 refer a dictionary. Judge reads out Panda - An animal native of China, eats shoots and leaves
2006-08-09 02:31:29 · answer #5 · answered by Bartimaeus™ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke a little leaf.
Jack got high unzipped his fly and Jill said "where's the beef!
2006-08-09 02:34:47 · answer #6 · answered by whatdousay2that 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
An ant and an elephant have a torrid night together.
The next morning the ant wakes up to find the elephant dead.
So she says 'one night of passion and i'm going to spend the rest of my life digging the grave'. ha ha ha....
2006-08-09 02:28:33 · answer #7 · answered by Rainbow 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"I tell you, this new hearing aid I got is fantastic...I can hear a bee flying from 100 yards....I can hear the phone ringing 5 houses down....this is great". The man he was talking to says "wow...what kind is it?" "10:30, he answers".
2006-08-09 02:34:45 · answer #8 · answered by daddydoggie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Q?- why did raggityann and Pinocchio get a divorce??
Answer- she kept sitting on his nose saying:
"Lie, tell the truth, Lie tell the truth, Lie tell the truth"
Well I thought it was funny!!
2006-08-09 02:30:27 · answer #9 · answered by haywudjblome 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jack & Jill went up the hill each with a buck & a quarter
Jill came down with two-fifty
The f**king whore
********************
How do you know you're trailer trash
Your house has wheels & your car doesn't
2006-08-09 02:50:19 · answer #10 · answered by Whodaman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋